| "Alone on Prom Night " |
| Part 1 by Kendra |
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Disclaimer: The characters, blah, blah, blah belong to the WB and Jason Katims. The song is "Falling Away from Me," by KoRn. Category: Other Rating: R Authors Note: I'm writing this because I'm so mad, depressed, just self-loathing. All my friends went to Junior-Senior prom and I was left alone, it really sucks. Anyway, this is a really depressing fan fiction. It has NOT been beta read, so all the mistakes are mine. But, Christianne, I'm CC this to you, so will you still beta read it before I put it on my site, thanks. |
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| I wonder why I'm sitting at home all alone, when did my life become so dull? I look up at my ceiling and try to make invisible figures appear in the paint. Did you know that if you stare at something long enough you can imagine it's something, or someone? Yes, I know it sounds stupid, but do I care right now. No, not really. "Hey, I'm feeling tired I think I'm losing it. I'm talking to myself in my own head. Yes, I do need help, I'm all alone on prom night. I have no one. I feel like screaming, so I do. I start to pull at my hair, causing me to bleed. I like to inflict pain on myself, it makes everything okay, I deserve pain because that's all I ever seem to get. "Beating me down Did you know they all went off to prom and left me behind? They don't care about me. It's been two years, yes, two years since I learned about Max, Isabel and Michael. At first, I was freaked, I didn't know what to expect. After time, I fell for Michael, he stole my heart and never, ever returned it. Then, they thought Isabel was pregnant, he had dreams about her, but it turned out she wasn't pregnant. However, those horrible, evil dreams brought them together. Ever since then they've been dating. My life is a spinning world wind of nothingness. "(falling away from me) Michael thinks I'm not worth talking to, I'm just that girl he used to get it on with. Alex moved on rather quickly, but I didn't, I loved Michael too much. Now, Alex is at prom with his new girlfriend, Christianne. I'm happy that Alex has moved on, he deserves everything in the world. "Beating me down Liz and Max went to prom together as well, Max really loves Liz, he didn't let his dreams about Tess pull them apart. After Tess died they wouldn't leave each other's side, I envied them, their relationship, everything they had. "Pressing me, they won't go away So I pray, go away It's falling away from me." I could have gotten a date to prom if I really wanted, I could of had fun, but I enjoy being alone. Anyway, Michael scared me away from guys for a very long time. I'm afraid of rejection, I don't ever want to be hurt like that again. Maybe, I'll just go to sleep, close my mind, forget about everything. I wish my life would end. Will anyone ever love me again? I'm just useless. At one time I used to be the vibrant Maria De Luca, now look at me. I'm just a wasted piece of shit. Sometimes, I contemplate killing myself, but would that do any good? No, I have to stay around, after all, I really don't have a choice, Liz needs me now more than ever. I walk out of my bedroom, and into the kitchen. I grab a knife and I start to run it up my arm, making cuts, causing myself pain, making my permanent scars visible to the world. This form of self-mutilation always, and I mean, always makes me feel better. As I hurt myself, I hope life gets better than this. "Beating me down |
| Index | Part 2 |