Big knows I found them. If I do not terminate the targets, he will terminate me. If I am lucky, it will end there. But it never ends there. He will kill me and then recreate my body. Force me to live again and again under his power. Just like the others. I hate him. I wish I could kill Big instead of these civilians. But I can't. The chip keeps me his slave. Keeps us his slaves. Big gave us power, but controls us like machines. I hate him.

Good, they slipped into an alley. Now is my chance. I feel the power surge into my fingers. My hand glows with a deadly light. I am ready for the kill. I jump of the roof of the shop I am perched on and land in front of him. He pushes her behind him forcefully. I pull my hand back to kill him, but I stop. I look in his eyes. I can't kill him. I don't want to. I walk away. ________________________________________________________________________

I watch them. He holds her as she crys in his arms. I try to remember if anyone has ever held me like that. All I can remember is them. Big. The others like me. I am cold. I put my hand over the radiator and use my powers to fix it. A wave of heat warms my skin.

I look out the window into the apartment across the street. He sits there with her. Michael Guerin. Michael Guerin with hair that stands up on it's own. Michael Guerin with the life that I don't want to take.

Why can't I kill him? If I don't, the others will. There are five others like me. All humans given powers by Big to be his slave. I hate Big. I hate how he controls me. I am a human. I am not like him. But I must serve him. He will kill me if I don't. I always hate dying. The last moment when the spirit leaves the body, that one perfect, peaceful moment, ruined with the knowledge that he will bring me back and do it all over again.

But that is the way it is for us. New bodies when the old ones expire. He won't let me die. I look at my reflection in the glass. It has not changed in over fifty years. It has not changed since the first time he took me.

I don't remember when Big took me, but I know that he did. He took all of us. To serve under him, to be his disposable army. To search for and destroy his enemies. The four that will one day rise to destroy him.

I feel nothing but hate. Hate for Big. Because he took our humanity. Hate for the world. Because it wasn't made for me. Hate for destiny. Because it took everything from me. I was human. Now I don't know what I am.

But I don't hate him. I must love him. Michael Guerin. I don't want to kill him. I must be in love then.

I look at her. Could I ever have been like her? Curled into his chest, being comforted by his arms. Maria Deluca.

She is the key, I decide.

When he leaves to find his others, I will go to her.

________________________________________________________________________

"Maria."

She jumps at the sound of my voice. She is terrified of me. She can't speak as I move into the apartment and stand at the counter of the open kitchen. She stands, frozen, on the other side.

"I know you," she whispers. Her voice shakes. I have heard people talk like this before. It means she is scared.

"You should." I watch as her hands shake. "I haven't come to kill you."

Her face contorts. "I won't tell you where he is," she says, with her jaw clenched. Her hand still shakes.

"I haven't come to kill him."

She is confused. I can tell. I feel her emotions roll off of her. Just like him. I have never wanted to feel emotions before him. Emotions make you weak. I envy Maria Deluca.

"I need his help." She looks more confused. "I need you to make him help me."

She shudders. "Wh. . . what do you mean?"

I look at her eyes. They speak to me. Somehow she is not as surprised by this as I thought. I give her reassurance. She probably does not even realize what I have one. "I need him to help me."

She raises an eyebrow. She feels uncertian. Anxious. These emotions are neat. I never bothered to feel anybody's emotions before now. She won't stop asking. I can feel that too. "I want to be like you." The look of dread falls of her face. Now she is just confused, intrigued.

"What do you mean?"

I think of the best way to explain this. I decide to just show her.

She flinches as a touch her hand. I send her images to make her understand the chip. It is implanted in my chest to keep my powers under control. Under Big's control. To keep me from using my powers on Big or his allies. To keep me from using my powers on myself.

She looks up at me. She understands now. "He can take it out, can't he." I nod. She starts to back away from me. Her hand fumbles around the counter behind her, her eyes never leaving my face. She grabs a bottle and sniffs the contents. I feel her body relax.

"I want to control myself."

"You're one of them, aren't you?"

"No."

"What are you?"

"Something else."

"How? I mean, you're the same as they are."

"No. I was human once. Never alien."

She looks away from me. "He can't help you."