I have a heavy feeling inside when I think about that. Is this what emotions are?

I feel him. He is coming back. Alone. I look at Maria Deluca. She hasn't spoken in hours. She is still scared. Scared of me? Scared for him.

She loves him. I can feel it. I can not kill her, I know. Not if Michael Guerin loves her back. And I know he does.

I have seen it all the way from Roswell to San Diego. He sacrifices his own comfort for hers. He gives her food when there is not enough for two. He sleeps on the hard ground so that she can sleep on beds of sparse grass gathered from the side of the road. He gives her his jacket on cold desert nights to cover herself with. I should have realized before that I couldn't kill him.

Then it was because of the 4:1 odds that my training would not allow. Fighting four with powers, however inexperienced they were, was not something that I was trained to do. My others were searching elsewhere for them, while I followed them on foot. Alone. Killing lizards for food, sleeping in ditches and caves. I was really lucky.

Now I can't kill Michael Guerin because I don't want to. I never knew I could love someone so much.

I can feel him. He is outside the apartment now. I feel my heart pound faster. Why is that? Maybe my emotions are not as well hidden as I thought. Maybe this is anticipation.

"He's coming." My voice is unbelievably loud, breaking the silence.

"I know." She won't even look at me. She sits in her chair, tense. I can hear her breathing speed up. I walk over beside her.

"I won't hurt him. I just need his help."

"I know."

I can feel my patience wearing away. I don't like to see her like this. It annoys me. I have seen her before with her others. With Elizabeth Parker and Alexander Whitman. When she is with them, she glows. Now, she sits pensively, unreasonably afraid. I showed her what I wanted. But she is still afraid. These emotions are baffling.

I feel Michael Guerin walking up the stairs. He does not know that I am here. He does not know how to look for me with his powers. Maybe Maria Deluca is right. Maybe he can't help me. I look at her.

"You have to explain this to him. Keep him calm."

Maria Deluca stares at me. Her eyes are empty. Wait, no, she is hiding her emotions. Does she know that I see what she feels? She looks away.

"Why should he help you? You're just some crazy psycho who came out of nowhere and nearly jumped us, and you actually think that Michael is just going to remove that thing and let you pull a Rambo on us?Sorry, babe, but that's not how it works."

I feel my anger. I try to fight it for the first time in years. I have forgotten how hard it is. Anger has a mind of it's own. The door opens.

"What the HELL?!?" I turn to face the door. A bolt of light nearly hits my head. I duck in time for it to fly by and break the window. Michael Guerin is at the door, his had reached out towards me.

"Calm down. . . " I start, but am cut of with another bolt. I am really angry now. He lunges at me. I grab his arm and throw him onto the couch. He throws something at me. The knife hits me in the shoulder. I ignore the pain. I throw a chair at him. It hits him. He falls back on the ground.

I can Maria Deluca's voice filter into my mind, through my anger. "MICHAEL! Michael, stop!"

I try to control my anger. She runs over to him.

Maria Deluca kneels on the floor. "You don't understand! She's a. . . a. . ."

"I am what I am." They look at me. She is scared. Scared of what I have done to him. He is angry. Angry for what I might have done to her. I continue. "Not one of you, but not one of them. I am another." I look at Maria Deluca. Silently, I tell her what I want her to do. She glances at me and nods.

"She needs our help. . . to remove a chip from her body."

She is scared. He is scared. She wants to protect him. He wants to protect her. These emotions are so fascinating; the fear, the love. I want to feel them like I did before I could remember.

Michael Guerin stands up and steps in front of Maria Deluca. He is so passionate. It makes me feel empty. I can feel his need to protect her. It is amazing.

"You tried to kill me yesterday."

I shook my head. "No."

His hands start to glow. "Bullshit."

"You are still alive, Michael Guerin. If I was going to kill you, you would all be dead by now."

"Why should we help you?"

"Because I know things."

"What things?"

"Things about who you are running from."

Michael glares at me. He doesn't believe me. "Get out."

"Make him understand." I know he won't trust me. But he will trust her.

He doesn't like me talking to her. "Keep away from Maria."

"Make him understand." Maria tries to turn Michael Guerin. He won't move.

"Get out." I feel cold. He won't help me. I will be killed. I have no choice. I still can't kill him. I walk over to the broken window and jump down the three stories to the bottom. I walk away. My feet hurt and my shoulder still has the knife in it, but I don't care. This body will be dead soon anyhow.

______________________________________________________________________

I wake up in my new body. It doesn't feel right. The pod opens, and I spill onto the ground. I hate new bodies. Big stands in front of me.

"You didn't kill them."

I don't answer. His hand glows. He uses his powers to burn my skin. I hide my pain from him. I try to attack him, but the chip won't let me. I feel it. It is in my stomach, below the ribs. Electric shocks pulse through my body. Big leaves me to my pain. I hate him. I hate this. I have to get free. I remember now. Michael Guerin. Just Michael, as she calls him. Maria Deluca. Just Maria, as he calls her.

I decide to save them.

I run. I know that they are still alive. We work at night. I don't know if I can beat the other. This body is new. Strange. But still the same body of the eighteen year old girl I was when I was taken. Soft, fragile, lethal. I wonder who the other is. Another baby-faced teen. Another killer in an innocent guise.

I come to the apartment. It is night now. They are not safe. I feel them. They are close. The alley. I walk out to the ally to see the other trapping them.

I jump off the fire escape and land in front of the other. T-212. He recognizes me in this new body. His eyes narrow. He tries to kick my head. I grab his leg and throw him into the wall of the apartment block. He hits me in the arm with a blast of energy. I fall back. The copper taste of blood fills my mouth.

I want to kill him. T-212 tries to hit me again with a blast. I roll away. Parts of the wall behind me crumble onto my back. I make them fly at him. He ducks, but does not escape them all. I grab him by the head and snap his neck. He falls dead to the ground.

I turn this body into soil. I know that he will be mad at me when he wakes up in his new body. I turn to the others. They stare at me. Horrified at his death. Relieved that they live. Uncertain whether or not to trust me. Emotions.

I look at Maria Deluca. I know that she has told him about the chip. I look at Michael Guerin.

"Will you help me now?" I lift my shirt and point to where the chip is in this body.

"No." He still doesn't trust me. "You're a killer."

I feel the electric currants start to build inside my body. I step closer to them.

"Take it out."

He stands his ground. The electricity grows harder to ignore. "I am not here to hurt anyone, Michael Guerin."

I put my hand on his shoulder. I make him see. I show him how the chip controls me. How Big uses it to keep me under his command. I show him how I died last night. How the chip burned me from the inside out. I showed him how Big burned my new body. How he is always there to hurt my body.

I am getting to him. I can see it. But there is no time for triumph. The pain is to great to ignore. I fall to the ground. I try to hold back the screams of pain. I don't succeed. I clutch my stomach, feeling the blood seep from my ears and nose. I feel hands on me. My stomach opens, then heals itself as the chip is removed. I open my eyes.

"Thank you, Michael Guerin." He takes away his hands.

"Michael. It's just Michael."

______________________________________________________________________

I lay awake in the room. A hotel room. I hear Michael and Maria arguing in the bathroom. They don't know what to do with me. He doesn't trust me. But I feel good. I healed myself. I can do that. I can do anything.

Except feel emotions. That's what I want to do. I want them to teach me.

They come out of the bathroom. I watch them as they sit together at the tiny table. They look at me. Maria takes his hand.

"Who are you?" I look into her eyes. She wants to trust me. Unlike him. Michael wants me to leave. I have to convince them.

"I am me."

Maria rolls her eyes. "I mean your name. What is your name?"

"T-416."

Silence. I don't like this silence. Michael glares at me.

"Why did you help us?"

"So you would help me."

"You were going to kill us."

"Yes."

More silence. I walk over to them. Michael tenses as I stop in front of him. He stands up and glares down at me. I glare back. Anger. Why do I always feel anger?

"Okay, what is this, some sort of alien showdown?" Maria pushes us away from each other.

"I'm not an alien."

She gives me a look. "Like it matters. You're not human."

"Yes I am."

"No, you're not. You're some weird alien mercenary here to kill everyone."

"No. I am a slave to aliens. I don't fight for them. I fight for myself. For my life."

They look at each other. Michael is starting to trust me.

"So what now?"

"You help me, and I help you."

He squints at me. "What the hell does that mean?"

"You help me feel emotions like a human, and I help you stay alive."

They look at each other again. They do it for comfort, but they speak to each other. They don't even realize that they are speaking to each other. Maria looks at me.

"How do we know that we can trust you?"

I touch them. I send them everything that is in my mind. How much I want to feel. , how much I want to be like them, how much I want to learn from them. I show them what I can teach. About how to fight, how to use powers. I send them everything. Except how I love Michael. They don't need to know that.

Maria clears her throat. "Well, I guess you're gonna need a better name than T-416."

I feel myself relax. I didn't realize how tense I was before now. They will let me stay. "Give me a name."