I run and I run, and I try to wake up. I don't want Isabel to see me like this. I don't want to see myself like this. I trip. The others are gone. Only one lone corpse lays under me. I look at it's cold, dead eyes and start to cry. I can't stop. This time it's worse than before. . .

"Miiiichael. . . "

Isabel appears. "You care about him, don't you." I shake my head.

"No. I don't know how."

"Yes you do." I look into her eyes. She believes that.

"I didn't care. About them. I didn't know how." I sob. I hate doing that. "I didn't know what I was doing. . ."

She looks at me. I look back. I feel that she is searching inside of me, but I don't try to stop her. She pulls up a memory.

**It hurts so much, but I don't make a sound. Big cuts my face with the knife. I can feel the warm blood run down my face. There are cuts all over my body. I am bleeding. To death.

"You didn't do your job. . ." Another cut. "You disobeyed me. . . " Another cut. Then another. "You will never, EVER do that again. . . " Another cut. "Or next time I will not be so gracious." He slits my throat.

I am dead. I feel no pain. But it's not over. I open my eyes. I wake up in my new body. It doesn't feel right. The pod opens, and I spill onto the ground. I hate new bodies. Big stands in front of me.** _______________________________________________

I'm cold. Wet. I wake up. I'm still in the bathtub. Tess is there. She has turned on the cold water. The icy water reminds me of the rain the night before. I close my eyes.

"How's the baby killer?"

Her words hurt. She knows they do. She still hates me for what I did.

She snarls at me. "You have my brother by the balls, don't you? Tell me, how did you make him let you stay? Did you feign guilt? Regret? The apathetic wonder crying for her sins. . . "

I hold my breath to keep back the tears. It hurts, but I don't stop. She keeps putting me down. I wish she would stop. I try to fight back the emotions. I don't want to think of all the death. All the death I have caused. I feel light-headed. But I keep my breath inside. I can't breath. I won't cry for her. It burns, aches. But the tears are too close. Still, I keep my breath inside. I won't cry, I won't cry, I won't, I won't, I won't. . .

It goes black. I think I must be dead. But I feel something. Something on my face. A stinging. My eyes open. I don't see anything. I can feel the breath rip into my lungs. Again and again and again. My eyes close. Michael. He's saying something.

". . . to her? Just leave her alone, Tess!"

"She's a MONSTER, Michael! You saw what she did! It's just a matter of time before she turns on us, and I won't wait around for it to happen!"

"Tess, we can't push her away, or she will push us away." Max. Max is fighting for me. "Alice can help us more than we can imagine. She WANTS to help us! She can keep us safe!"

"Do you want to let everybody down, Max? Our people need us, and you're going to risk it all for a DRONE!"

"Tess, just get out!" I love Michael even more now than before. He won't give up on me. I don't know why he trusts me. Tess is right. I can't be trusted. I don't trust myself anymore. He puts his hand on my cheek.

"Alice, wake up. Please. . . come on open your eyes. . . Max, get her a blanket! God, she's so cold. . . "

He's sad because of me. I hate myself. I made my Michael sad. I can't look at him. "Leave me alone."

He climbs into the bathtub and holds me like a child. Like he holds Maria. "You're not a monster."

I try to hold back another sob. I sound like a hurt animal. "Don't lie to me. . . "

He holds me tighter. "You're not. You didn't know."

"I should have." It's true; I know it is. It's all my fault. I should have realized the truth. I should have realized how final death is for those who aren't slaves. Only we are cursed with immortality. Only us drones. Because he won't let us die.

I feel Michael's hand in my wet hair. He dries my body with his powers. I feel safe. Michael doesn't hate me. "You're so innocent, Alice. . . like a child. You don't understand what this world is about. . . "

Max comes in. I open my eyes as he wraps me in the blanket. I look at him. Max doesn't hate me either. I feel Michael's arms holding me tight.

I think that I know what this world is all about. I wonder if I can have it. ______________________________________________________

This food is still strange to me. I can't remember a time where I have eaten solid food before I met them. No more liquid nutrients fed intravenously. It's strange, but here I am, chewing on rubbery eggs and burnt bacon with Tabasco sauce. I need more. I eat and eat until I feel pressure from my stomach. I look around the table.

They are all lost in thought. I hope that they aren't thinking bad things about me. I look at Michael. I can trust him. He won't think of bad things about me. Neither will Maria or Max. Liz. She's still uncertain. She wants to believe that I won't turn on them. And Alex. I think that he is starting to trust me too. Because of Isabel. She glances at me quickly; she has been all morning. She is sorry about what she said, she told me. She is sorry I didn't understand.

I look at Kyle and Tess. They sit as far away from me as they can. I wonder if they will ever trust me. But I like Kyle. He hates me because he thinks I will hurt his friends. He just wants to protect them. Tess is the same. But she wants to hurt me. So I don't like her.

I use my powers to clean my plate. They watch me silently as I leave the room. Someone follows me. It's Isabel. She feels guilty, I know. I don't want her to feel that way. She can't like it. I know I don't.

I turn to look at her when I reach the living room. "No more sorrys."

She smiles. "Let me teach you more. I can help you."

I cringe. I remember how much I wanted to feel. Now I want to forget again. "It hurts too much. I don't like it."

Isabel grabs my shoulders. "It's too late now. Do you really want to go back to the way you where." I don't. She knows that I don't. "Let me help you."

She looks so sincere. I want to let her help me.

"Will you help me feel everything? Good things?"

Isabel smiles. It makes the guilt lift a little. She glows when she smiles. I like to make people happy. Maybe she can teach me to do that more. _________________________________________________________

I walk down the street with Isabel and Liz. I don't like being outside with people. They remind me of people I have killed. The little girl with strawberry blond curls. The same color of another little girl I have seen. An old woman with a limp. A limp like one that I have seen before. A limp that I caused before taking the life. I turn around to go back. Isabel pulls me along.

"You can't hide forever, Alice." She's right. But I can try. I pull away again. Liz grabs my other arm.

"Come on, come on! We have something to show you!" Liz wants me to come. She trusts me now. I follow them.

A teenage boy. The same face shape as one of my others. The same one that followed me into the warehouse that day. I look at the ground. I don't want to see anymore. But I follow.

We stop at an apartment block. Liz pulls out a key. It fits in the door. We walk inside. I don't know where we are. But I have an idea. They take me into an apartment on the third floor. I look around. I'm home.

This apartment is bigger than the last one. Nicer. The others are there. Sitting on second hand furniture made new with their powers. On the walls are paintings and sketches. Of the sky, of the desert, of them. They feel like Michael. I know that they were made by Michael. There is a television. Carpet. A nice kitchen. They brought me from an apartment to a home.

I can't say anything. I know that this is as much for them as it is for me, but I feel something. I panic. I don't know how to feel things. But I do now. I feel like my heart is breaking from this feeling. But it feels good. I want it to break. I am scared of this. I fall to the ground.

"Isabel, help me!" I'm so scared. So scared. She lifts my head onto her lap. I am so scared.

"Calm down, Alice!" Michael takes my hand. He looks at me. I see his eyes smile.

"What is this, Michael? I can't do this! Make it go away!" He looks at me like I am crazy. Maybe I am. I want this to stop. But I want it to go on forever. I want this to stop. No, I want it to go on forever. . .

"Alice, your happy." __________________________________________________

"Isabel, what am I feeling now?" I feel something. Finally. I feel more and more every day. I am excited. I know how to feel excited. But I need to make sure.

Isabel laughs as she touches my arm. "Alice, you already know what you feel!"

I smile back. "Tell me anyways."

"Excited. You're excited."

I can't sit still. I spin around in a circle. Alex and Maria watch me. I feel like I am going to explode. Why do I feel this way? Because Michael's coming back soon. And he's bringing something. Something special for me. He wouldn't say what, but I know that it's going to be great. It has to be.

I squeal. Isabel shakes her head. "You know, you become more and more like Maria every day!"

I stop spinning to think about what she said. I'm becoming like Maria. I feel more excited. Good. Michael loves Maria. It has to be a good thing. Maybe one day he will love me too.

Maria notices that I have stopped spinning. She looks hurt . She isn't really hurt, but she looks hurt anyways. "Hey, it's not that bad!" Alex snorts. I can see the sparkles in their eyes.

Michael walks in. He's carrying a paper bag. "What's not that bad?"

"Being like Maria." He grins at me. Maria hits him with a pillow before he can say a word.

"Don't even say it, Spaceboy!" He pulls her off the couch and tickles her.

No, it wouldn't be that bad to be Maria at all. I start to spin again.

Michael laughs. "What's with her?"

"You made her excited." Maria starts to spin with me. We fall over. I laugh. It's a weird feeling. I touch Maria's hand.

"Tell Michael what else I feel today!"

She thinks for a minute. She smiles. "You are excited, and happy, and curious, and completely wired!"

Happy? I'm happy? I stop to think again. I feel warm inside. Tingly. I feel like I can fly. It doesn't scare me anymore. I look at Maria. She is smiling. She's happy that I'm happy. Liz and Max come into the apartment.

I think of the bag. I look at Michael. He knows that I want to see what's inside. He dangles the bag on his hand. I wonder what's inside. I wait. I know that I'm driving him crazy. But I wait. Finally, he gives me the bag. I grin as I open it. My hands shake, I'm so excited.

I take out a silver necklace. It's special. I look at it. There is something special about it. I close my eyes and try to understand my thoughts. It has a silver pendant. It's shaped like a star. There is something special about it though. I can feel it. I look at Michael. There is only one ring on his fingers.

"This is yours." I don't ask him, I tell him. This is his ring. He made it into a pendant for me. With his powers.

He looks at me. Smirks at me. It's almost a smile. "No, it's yours."

"Thank you." There are tears coming from my eyes. I am confused. I am happy, but I am crying. Liz hugs me. It makes me cry even more.

"It's all right," she whispers. "It happens when you're happy too." Alex comes off and hugs me to. Trust radiates off him. I try to calm down.

"Don't worry. We have to deal with this with all the little women." Liz smacks him at the back of his head. I pull away and dry my tears. Max pulls Liz into a hug.

"Hey, I thought I was your one and only. . . " He stops talking as Liz kisses him.

I look at Michael. He watches them with a serene look on his face. Holding Maria's hand. My heart twists. I wish that I were Maria. But Michael is happy. So I am happy too. I smile again.

Kyle and Tess come back from working at a neighborhood video store. Tess walks past me without a word. She is stubborn. She still doesn't want to let me in. Kyle follows her, but smiles at me before they disappear into the kitchen.