I think of Michael. Smirking, brooding. Brown. His eyes are brown. Fiery, vivacious, perfect. Jaded, yet full of love. They express him completely. Max's eye are brown. But not the same. His are hooded, mysterious. They hold love like Michael's, but not the passion. His brown is cool, calm, collected. Michael's brown is electric with passion.

I think of my eyes. Blue. A pale, icy color. What do they reflect about me? Do they reflect the same things Tess's eyes reflect? A passion for the fight. For the fight for the ones she loves. That's all I see when I see her now. That's what I feel deep down.

We are the same, I know, Tess and I. I decide that I can't hate her anymore than I can hate the others. She is scared, like me. Of me. I guess I would be too.

I see her inside. Maria. Waiting tables at a rundown diner. Green. Her eyes are green. They hold life in them. They hold passion, love, excitement. I wonder if my glacial blue will ever reflect that.

I sigh. I feel bad that they won't let me work too. We need the money. One day we will have to run from here. They will. I don't know if I can. I want to protect the ones I love. I sigh again. Something is different about tonight. I can feel it.

I have followed everyone to work so many times; Tess and Kyle to the video store, Maria to the diner, Michael and Liz to the ice cream shop, Max to the drug store, Alex and Maria to the park where he plays his guitar for change while Maria sings. I follow them to make sure that they come home at the end of the night.

But not tonight. I glance back at Maria and walk down the street. Something is definitely different about tonight.

I walk along the highway. I don't see the cars. I don't hear the horns. I just feel him. I see the steel girders of a new building. That is where I have to be. I walk over to it. I need to get to the roof.

I stand on the rickety elevator. It feels flimsy, although I know that it is safe. I get to the top. He is here. Just like I knew he would be. My other.

"Hello."

I don't say anything back. I don't know what to say. I think back. Back to I time I could have loved this man.

**I don't want to kill him. S-285. I stand over him, my hand at his throat. I look into his eyes. I see something there. They aren't completely empty. Like theirs. Like mine. I can't kill him. I press my thumb against his jugular vein until he passes out. But he's alive.

I turn around to fight the others coming behind me.**

**The pod opens, and I spill onto the ground. I was killed during the training session. But it's okay. I'm not angry. All I see is two brown eyes. Brown. Color. He stands by the door. He watches me.

"T-416, you didn't meet your potential." A hit. It doesn't hurt too bad. Brown. "Never leave a job unfinished. Is that clear?" A hit. I look up at Big. I see nothing.

"Understood." Big walks away.**

He stands right in front of me. He surprises me. He holds his hands out to me. I place my palms in his, and we share the memories. Of us. Protecting each other. Caring for each other. Until Big took that away too.

**I am hanging upside down. The whip hits again. This is the third body they have tortured because of it. Because of one kiss.

"Emotions make you weak!" The whip hits again. "Say it!"

My throat hurts. The blood pounds in my head. But I choke out the words. "Em. . .otions make. . . you weak." I give up. I yell louder. "Emotions make you WEAK!"

I die again. When I wake up, I see outside my pod. I see him standing by the door. I don't see brown.

And I want to kill him.**

I pull away from him. He looks at me. I am crying. I see nothing in his face. It is hard. Closed. Just like it is supposed to be. Like I am supposed to be. But I see a spark in his eyes, and I feel something new. Hope.

"Come back with me." His words hit me like a brick. He thinks that it is better with Big. He is innocent. That's what Michael calls it. Innocent. Because he doesn't understand what this world is all about.

"Come away with me." My words don't seem to affect him at all. But I know they do. I put my hands in his again and show him what I feel. I show him what alive is supposed to feel like. I show him what death really means, and why I can't go back. He pulls away from me like he has been burnt.

"He won't let you go."

I smile sadly. I can see how much the smile shocks him. "I am already gone."

"He won't stop hunting you. Ever." Truth. His greatest weapon. My greatest enemy. Because it is true.

"I won't stop fighting him." I turn around and climb into the elevator. As it begins to descend, I turn around and look at him one last time. He lets me go. He can't kill me. I feel it. And I feel hope. I see brown. ________________________________________________

"I know what you did." I turn around. I am getting close to the apartment. Tess.

"What did I do." She snarls at me. She is ready for a fight. Even though she knows that she can't win.

"You met with one of them." She followed me. I know it. "You're NOT going to hurt them"

"Tess, I. . . " A bolt hits me. It hurts. My stomach is bleeding. But I don't fight back with her. I heal myself, but she hits me again. And again. Until she is hit too.

I look behind me as I heal myself. He followed me too. S-285. And she is there too. S-332. Tess gets up off of the ground. Her shoulder is raw and bleeding. "Run. Tess, GO!" As Tess runs, I can feel S-332 move behind me. Ready for the kill.

I turn around in time to see the heated punch hit me. I fall over, but catch myself. I kick her legs out from under her. As we get up, she jumps and kicks me in the face. I fall back, and she dives on me. Before her hands touch me with their fiery power, I flip her over onto her back. I take her leg and throw her into a parked car. The glass breaks, cutting her face and throat. I feel sickened. I feel her pain. She isn't dead. But she isn't alive either. She is stuck in limbo. Because of Big. S-285 hits her with a blast. Kills her.

I turn to face him. His eyes are cold.

"Don't make me kill you!" My voice shakes. I don't want to kill. I don't want to kill him. I don't know if I can. My energy is drained.

"You're coming back with me NOW!" His voice is full of rage. He hates me. Maybe he will kill me after all.

"You don't understand." I am afraid. I can't go back to the way I was. "I don't WANT to! I don't need you to save me from this! This is what I need! It's what you need too!"

"Emotions make you WEAK! WEAK! You are WEAK!" His hand glows. He wants to kill me. So I will go back. My hand glows too.

"I'm not weak. I am HUMAN! And so are you!" I hope he backs down. I don't want to kill him again. "We were never supposed to live like this, don't you see? Big is using us; forcing us to betray what we are!"

His resolve to kill me is weakening. I see a flicker of brown. "You are weak. And you can't run forever."

I start to walk away. He lets me. "I won't stop fighting him." I want to bring him with me. But he's not ready. And when he is, I will be there. ___________________________________________

I walk into the apartment. They are all sitting in the living room. Eight. I am not part of that. I am part of six. I have to get them to come with me. I love them even though they don't know how to love me. I look at Michael. For the first time in a long of time, I feel doubt.

I send them what I feel. I send it through the air. It hurts to let them know what's inside. It's scary. I feel scared that they will hate me for what I feel. That they won't be able to accept it.

"I don't belong here, do I?" I know the answer. But I want to hear it. I want them to hear it. Because they know that I belong with them too. The others. My others.

It hurts to know that. I don't belong with them. With Michael. My Michael. With the brown eyes that make me feel alive. I love him. He was the first person I risked everything for. Because even before, I gave up at a whim. But not this time. I fought.

But just because I fought to stay doesn't make me belong with him. He belongs with Maria. Because he loves her. And I know that I could never bring myself to end that.

"You can belong with us." Max believes that. But he doesn't know that I can't forget. I can't forget them. I want them. I look at Tess. She knows what I sacrificed for her. I have her trust. But it isn't the triumph that I thought it would be.

Because I know now that it isn't what I need.

"I need them." They cringe at the truth. Michael cringes at the truth about me. But I can feel their acceptance.

"Alice," Michael's voice is so soft. It makes me melt. I need them too. I need him. "We will help you if you want us to. You know we will." The others agree. I know they do.