"Hmm?" Just as Maria was about to ask Max, Isabel, Alex and Michael stepped out of the metal detector. Maria just stood there, half in shock and the other half in fear. She couldn't deal with Michael yet. Not now. She smiled, though and walked over to greet each one. When she came to Michael she hugged him like the rest but the shiver that went down her spine. She wondered if there would ever be a time when she wouldn't react to him. Max spoke first after they were reacquainted. "We're going to book a hotel, I know you weren't expecting us."

"God, don't worry about it, the house is huge. I have no idea why my dad needed it, it was only him living there, but it turned out to be really nice once I cleaned it up a bit. Except the attic that has yet to be finished." She smiled hoping to seem to have not changed dramatically. Her characteristic babble made them all smile back with familiarity. All except Michael who seemed more withdrawn than ever.

* * *
You're beautiful, that's for sure
You'll never ever fade.
- Nelly Furtado
* * *

The six of them hung out just like old times when Maria got off work and for the entire week she was happy. They spend most of their time remembering the happy times in Roswell with no mention of the pain. Liz, Max, Isabel and Alex decided to go to a movie the night before they left after dinner. Maria had a gig that night so she was unable to attend and Michael felt somewhat drawn to Maria, just to talk if nothing else. Guilt and self-disgust plagued her as she sat across from him. "So, looks like it's just us tonight. Anything you want to do before you leave?" She asked trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. Trying to rid the lump from her throat.

"Not really. Let's just heat up last night's take out and watch a movie, or something." He replied unenthusiastically.

"You read my mind!" Maria responded as she leapt up and headed toward the kitchen happy to be able to get away from his piercing eyes. She put the Chinese boxes into the microwave and sat on the counter waiting for the buzzer to go off. Michael strolled in after her and leaned up against the island and just looked at her.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just can't believe you're here, in front of me. Maria, what happened?" Michael asked, shaking now partly because he was scared, mostly because he was angry. He kept his tone steady, though. "I must have sent you two dozen letters ..."

"Yeah ... Michael whatever I say to you right now ... you're not going to understand." She winced as the words came tumbling out of her mouth because she knew that she was lying. With an attempt to convince herself she began to speak again. "I mean, I love it here and I haven't finished what I set out to do ..." Her voice was shaking now and she had to struggle to keep the tears down.

"Maria, you don't mean this. Christ, maybe we don't know each other anymore, I thought you were stronger than this." His voice grew louder "Fuck, Maria, you don't just want to throw this away?" His gaze grew colder as Maria tried to find the words that would make everything better. She quickly glanced away to wipe away a tear that had fallen. "Michael, you were everything to me. Everything. Now, I don't know who me is. I mean, all I have left of my father is this old house that tells me absolutely nothing. I don't even know what I want ... except space. I want space." He just stared at her with his gaze as cold as ice. He opened his mouth a couple of times to say something when he stood up.

"No problem." And he started toward to the door.

"Michael. Michael wait! Why are you always running away ..." the slam of the door cut her off. She sank to the floor in sobs and didn't move until Liz found her there three hours later.

* * *
You can plan a pretty picnic
But you can't predict the weather.
- Outkast
* * *

After hours of questions and sympathetic looks they decided to go to bed.

The others left as planned the next day, Michael met them at the airport. Nobody said anything on the way back. The only form of communication was Liz's hand in Max's.

* * *
Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked
Lying on the floor, I've come undone.
- Weezer
* * *

Maria tried to call him a hundred times but each time the phone started to ring she'd hang up. "This is what you wanted, Maria. You wanted him to go. You wanted space. Then why is all I think about are ways to get him back?" She decided that is was time. Time to move on and occupy herself with other things and find out about her father.

Soon she threw herself into her work and willed herself not to think of Roswell, but everyday she came home to her daily letter from Liz and letters from the others which came less frequently.

* * *
But it's not so bad, you're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back, you're just the best I ever had.
- Vertical Horizon
* * *

On a Sunday, months later Maria sat in her slingback chair she had bought for herself and smiled. She had done well for herself, really, the place was cleaned up, she was getting gigs almost every night, she worked a great nine to five job and she was alone. Just as the word "space" started to enter her mind she got up and decided to occupy herself with cleaning out the attic which still had yet to be touched.

The door was bolted shut, not that this came even close to stopping Maria from entering. She broke down the door and started up the stairs armed with Lysol and a pail with water. She set them down in shock when she glanced around.

The attic was very different from what the rest of the house had been like when she arrived. The house was dusty and empty except for scraps of garbage. This. The attic was the opposite. It had prints of Monets everywhere mingled with photos of Maria as a child. It had easels with paintings half finished and paintings propped against the walls of her mother, and Maria. There was a rocking chair that looked out of the back window, with an Afghan casually draped around it. The room smelt lightly of cigar smoke and left an imprint of her father on her soul.

She began to walk around as tears streaked her cheeks and for the first time in months she allowed herself to feel. She walked around the room touching everything, trying to feel her father. Among the piles of books she found beside the rocker she found "Utopia" and "Wuthering Heights" which made her smile. One for the classics, she supposed. Upon opening Utopia a note tumbled out from the cover. Shaking she opened it and began to read.

"Art is much less important than life, but what a poor life without it."
-Robert Motherwell

Maria, if you read this, I am most likely not within this world. As you can see, I've lived my life through the art and your smiling face is the only thing that keeps me going. I have a tumour in my brain and the doctors can't do anything, so I've spent my last days painting and reading. This entire room, as well as the house, is now yours. You can do with it whatever you think is best. Please, tell your mother that I've loved no other, except you. My Maria. Love Daddy. She dropped the letter and it went fluttering to the floor. She stood there, not being able to do anything by let her tears fall freely down her face and dripping off her chin to a puddle below her. Finding the strength to move she gently pick up one of the many diaries that lay beneath his collection of books and opened it at a random place.

March 12, 1991

It has been 1362 days since I left my family. My love. Each day I want to tell Amy that I want to come back, but can only imagine the hate that Maria possesses for me. I left them. I left my soul. I left my heart. I am broken.

* * *
I think it's getting to the point where I can be myself again.
It's getting to the point where we have almost made amends.
- The Barenaked Ladies
***

The room began to spin around her, or was she spinning? She dropped the book when the doorbell sounded, suddenly snapped out of her daze. She started downstairs, making sure to close the broken attic door soundly behind her. Glancing out the bay window as descending the stairs she saw that it was dark outside, already and rain started to pour mercilessly. Hearing the doorbell for a third time she yelled "I'm coming" while trying to mop up the remains of her face.

Glancing through her peep hole she couldn't see anything but darkness. She opened the door slowly and stared into the darkness. There was a form in front of her, hunched over from the cold of the rain. As her eyes adjusted she could see the strong jaw and the piercing eyes of Michael. He had several bruises on his face and he was shivering from the cold. It reminded her of that night so long ago. "Jesus." Was all the could say when she dragged him in from out of the cold. She took off his jacket and started to unbutton his wet shirt. She stopped herself half way down realizing the feelings that she was attaining from this simple act. "Umm ... why don't you finish this and I'll go run you a bath." She said turning to run upstairs.

* * *
I can't help it if I'm helpless
Every time that I'm with you
- Leann Rimes
* * *

Maria started to run the bath when Michael walked into the bathroom in just his jeans. She didn't look at him as she put a few drops of cypress oil into the running water. "Here are some towels and your clothes from ... before. Take your time."

* * *
Lie to me
Tell me everything is alright.
- Johnny Lang
* * *

She left before he could respond. She went directly to the kitchen frantically sniffing her cypress oil. She put some water in the kettle and started to make some coffee.

She decided to concentrate on the drops of coffee going into the thermos than the thoughts of why Michael was here, how he got hurt, and is she going to get hurt. When he walked in, he was wearing the T-shirt that she had spent so many nights smelling and wishing he were there. She gave him a slight smile and poured two cups of coffee, adding some Tabasco sauce to one and she sat down. He took the cup greatfully. "So, do you want to talk about it?" She asked, almost certain that he wouldn't.

"I had nowhere else to go." He said with pain in his voice. Maria was convinced that this was all he was going to say when he continued. "I got into a fight with some guys. They were talking shit about knowing where I lived. I didn't believe them or anything, I mean, I was sure it was a scare tactic. When I got home, my house was trashed. I wanted to go see Max but he was gone til today on a school science thing. If I showed up at his place looking like this, his mother would freak. Then I started to think about you. You were the perfect solution. Would you mind? I mean, it'll only be a couple days."

"God, no. It's not a problem. I mean, I have to work tomorrow but I have Tuesday off and I'm sure I can get Wednesday off." She said, wanting to say anything to make him feel better. To feel not alone. He nodded shortly as she stood up to make him something to eat. "So, how did you get here?" He opened his mouth to say something but the phone cut him off.

She answered and it was Max on the other line. "Have you heard from Michael?" Was the first thing he asked.

"Yeah," she answered carefully "He's here, actually." She looked at Michael who had already stood up waiting to receive the phone. "It's Max." She passed him the receiver. Maria left the room then, giving Michael some privacy to explain everything to Max.

* * *
Hey there Miscreation,
we all need a revelation.
-Sheryl Crow
* * *

Michael stepped up behind Maria where she was sitting staring out into the darkness from her front window. She jumped, startled as Michael spoke "I told Max everything, he's going to get Valenti on it. He thinks it's a good idea if I stay here a bit."

She turned around, "That's fine, you know that. I'll go make your bed." She got up to get some polysporin for his face. "Maybe tomorrow night we can go for dinner? It'll be nice to catch up." She was trying to ignore the fear that crept through her. What if he didn't want to talk to her? What if he had forgotten everything? What if...

"Yeah, that sounds fine." He called after her. She arrived back with rubbing alcohol and polysporin. He closed his eyes half to prepare himself for the sting of the alcohol and half to prepare himself for the warmth of her touch. She started to dab an alcohol soaked cotton ball and he recoiled from the pain. "Sorry, but it'll help." He grimaced again, from what she thought, the alcohol.

When he opened his eyes and just looked at her. She could see sadness in his eyes but also a sort of understanding. She looked away from his searching eyes and started to fumble with the polysporin. When she was applying it to him he continued to watch her and found himself amused and pleased in the unnerved state she was in. She felt it too.

She got up abruptly and went to the linen closet. "I'll go make your bed, why don't you relax a bit?" He refused.

"I'll help, it's easier." As he followed her up the stairs, she was coaching herself. "Stay strong. You can't be with him. You need space."

* * *
I can't even think, I can't even speak
But I can still smile.
-Wide Mouth Mason
* * *

After making the bed with Maria's chatter things seemed almost normal. She went to go get some towels for the next morning for Michael but when she arrived back to his room he had fallen asleep. She placed the towels on the dresser and went to Michael. She traced his abrasions with her finger and laid a small kiss on his forehead before leaving.

* * *
That's just the way it is
Things will never be the same.
- Tupac
* * *

When Maria arrived home from her job, Michael was ready to leave. He had a strange smile on, one that was probably due to seeing her working in a suit as opposed to the Crashdown uniform. After they exchanged pleasantries, she went upstairs to get changed. She selected a knee length black skirt with slits on either side and a fitted red tank top.

Walking down the stairs she glanced at Michael and smiled. He seemed to have changed from yesterday. He seemed happier. A thought plagued Maria. What if it was because she was gone from Roswell? She pushed the thought out of her mind and asked "You ready?" He turned toward her, obviously startled at her presence.

"You certainly are. You look great." She blushed, then feeling the heat creep through her. It was welcoming; it had been a while since she felt like this. She accepted the fact that it was only for a couple of days.

They headed out to a small restaurant on the east side of town. Sitting there talking about everything seemed so comfortable for the both of them, like old times. It kind of through Maria off because even yesterday things weren't this easy. Yesterday Michael evidently still held the grudge of being ‘rejected' but today ... today was different. She shrugged it off, just wanting to enjoy the night.

* * *
The only thing I want to do
Is be with you.
-Faith Hill & Tim McGraw
* * *

Three hours later they were walking down the streets of downtown San Francisco neither caring where they were going, just wanting to be with each other. They were talking about everything and they drifted into a comfortable silence when Maria blurted out "So, where's all your angst?" She said it with a smile but they were both aware of the string of truth the question contained.

"I guess it went away when I saw your Roswell room today." He said looking at her for a reaction. She stopped in midstride and just stared at him. She couldn't bring herself to say anything. She was shocked and she reasoned that she had no right to feel betrayed because she said that the house was his. She just stared at him until he was unnerved. Michael unnerved. "Are you mad?" He asked.

"I don't know. No. I'm not mad. I told you to make yourself at home. Then you saw ... oh god. You saw everything." She was shaking now, wondering why he didn't hate her or think that she was pathetic.

"Yeah. I saw everything. And read all the letters that you never sent. Maria, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I just ... I had to." He couldn't find the words to speak anymore because of the emotion he was trying to hard to hide all night. He just took her hands and kissed them and pulled her toward him into an embrace he had been waiting for for months. The smell of her hair, the perfect blend of her perfume, the way she lay her head in the crook of his neck.

They walked home the rest of the way with their fingers entwined and talking about the time that they were apart.

* * *
Could there be a different ending
to the same old story?
- Deana Carter
* * *

As they let themselves into her house, they smiled. Really smiled. Not the fake smiles that they had been using for the past months. Without speaking she took his arm and went up the stairs and opened the attic door. When he looked at her wondering what was going on she just smiled. "I want to show you something."

As he entered the room, his breath caught in his throat. "This was his. All of his." Michael started to walk around the room in awe. It was a shrine of Maria. There were some paintings and pictures of Amy, but the room's purpose was to worship Maria. Remember Maria. Michael was enthralled, and rightfully so. The room was enchanting.

Michael swallowed hard and without looking at Maria asked "Why did you bring me here?" Maria started to laugh and asked him "Do you know what this means?" He looked at her then and saw her tear streaked face. He walked over to her and kissed her. It was the first time in years that they had really kissed. There lips fit together perfectly and as there tongues came reacquainted with the familiar territory they melted into each other.

* * *
Well I've tried so hard baby
but I just can't see
What a woman like you
is doing with me
- Bruce Springsteen
* * *

Three days later Michael and Maria left her house turning around just once to ensure the "For Sale" sign was straight. The climbed in her car and drove into the sunset toward Roswell. Maria felt whole; She had parents who loved her, a boyfriend who loved her and her group of friends who were waiting for her at the Crashdown. As she shifted into fifth she looked at Michael who hadn't taken his eyes off of her. "Waiting for me to cry?" she asked sarcastically.