Maria: Oh no, not the barney.

Michael: Nope, Seinfeld.

Maria: Oh, that's a good show, let me watch.

Michael: Well, I'm just rewinding the scenes with Kramer.

Maria: Kramer? why Kramer?

Michael: Well, just look at that hair. That hair does not stand up like that on its own you know. I bet he used extra hold spray and then blow dried it. It's very highly used technique when it comes to hair.

Maria: Ugh...(walks out)

Cut to confessional...Maria

Maria: I don't know what to do...Michael is completely shutting me out of his life. I think I should just...you know...try to understand this whole hair thing. Wait! I have an idea...

Cut to scene, Liz's bedroom. Liz and Max are in the bed. Liz is panting from loss of breath. Max is just smiling.

Liz: Max...I never knew you had that in you.

Max: Well, there are a lot of things you don't know about me. (smiles....passes her the KK donut).

Liz: MMMMM...they're like ecstatic.

Max: Tell me about it.

Liz: Give me another one!

Max: Here...(hands her another one)

Liz starts scarfing them down one by one. She becomes a different person.

Cut to confessional...Max...

Max: Oh I didn't realize the effect KK can have on you. Liz is a completely different person when she eats those. She doesn't want to have sex....She actually wants to talk to me about the future...and she....she....I can't say it....she...she....appreciates me for my mind! Oh god...I wish things were the way they were!

Cut back to scene with Liz and Max in bedroom. Maria walks in...

Maria: Um, Liz, sorry for the interruption, but where are your magazines?

Liz: What magazines?

Maria: hello, the s&m, the kinky toy magazines, the sex tips, you know those ones.

Liz: I can't believe you would say I have such things! (donuts wears off, she shakes her head....looks puzzled) Wait, Maria, what are you doing here?

Maria: I just asked you for the magazines.

Liz: Oh right, right. And what is this for?

Maria: Um, I wanted to know if they have said about using anything with hair products...

Cut to scene...confessional...Michael...

Michael: (picks up box of krispy kremes) Wow....I’m hungry...let me eat one. (starts eating one, then after a minute looks up at the camera.) OMG! Look at me! I need a comb, where's a comb! (He starts to comb his hair frantically, slicking it back in like a fifties do. he sighs and walks out).

Cut to scene...Michael and Maria...

Maria: Hey, Michael, guess what I have for you?

Michael: What?

Maria dumps the bag of hair products on the bed.

Maria: I thought I would, you know, maybe help you do your hair and then maybe you could do something for me.

Michael: AAAAAAAAAAAAAh! (starts to scream frantically)

Maria: What, what's wrong?

Michael: You expect me to put chemicals in my hair!

Maria: Uh...yeah...you do it all the time...

Michael: I can't believe you would ask me to do such a thing!

Maria: Michael, what's wrong with you?

Michael leaves screaming and hides in the bathroom.

Cut to Isabel in kitchen...she eyes the krispy kremes...

Isabel: Well, I could use something to cheer me up. (she begins to eat....she eats the donuts....She walks into her room, finds her carrot shrine...she begins to scarf those down as well...Max walks in).

Max: Isabel! you're eating your shrine!

Isabel: I don't know, all of a sudden I had this huge craving for carrots, and now, I don't know...I just can't stop eating them.

Max: You have lost all faith! That was your religion, your philosophy of life! Isabel...you're not acting normal.

Isabel: Well Max...(as she scarfs down more and they come falling out of her mouth) What the f*ck is so great about being normal?

Cut to confessional...Max...

Max: Ok, so I have finally given up the KK and now everyone else is on them. I am so ready to jump Liz...I had a whole bag of Viagra Milky Ways in preparation for her...But now she's miss prude since she's been eating those donuts. Oh god, damn krispy kremes. Krispy Kremes are the devil! I must stop them....

Cut to scene... Kyle...on the phone...

Kyle: yeah, I did what you suggested Dad. Yeah, I put it in the donuts. It seems to be working. Everyone is acting completely different....

Max walks in...

Max: Kyle...

Kyle: Max...Why don't you have a krispy kreme?

Max: Uh...no...I...I can't. I’m supposed to stay off of them. (his mouth begins to water, and he licks his lips, he tries to fight it, but can't...he snatches the donut and eats it, he begins to feel sick...)

Kyle: So, Max, do you feel any different?

Max: I think I’m changing. I can feel it inside.

Kyle: So, are you ready to come out yet? Come out of the closet? Max, I have been eyeing you for some time now. And I am gonna have you want me, whether its against your free will or not.

Max: I can't believe you did this to me.

Kyle: Oh god damn, how long does it take for this stupid solution to work?

Alex walks in. In his superman uniform. Only It has an A instead of an S.

Alex: STOP THAT!

Kyle: Alex...

Alex: What are you doing to him? What have you done with my dolls?

Kyle: Alex, I can explain....

Alex: Wait! (he pulls up his tights) Did you know these things can give you a major wedgy? Leave him alone, step away from the krispy kremes.

Kyle: I am not listening to some stupid Spiderman impersonator.

Alex: god! It's Alexman...like superman?

Kyle: Huh? (looks puzzled)

Alex: It's a bird...It's a plane...It's Alexman! (Alex charges Kyle and pushes him through the glass door of the house, landing on the grass.)

Michael comes in whistling with his new do. He starts singing...

O Canada, our home and native land....

Michael: What's going on guys?

Max: Kyle spiked the donuts with something, to make us all act different, in hopes of making me gay.

Maria: Quick! Michael! The hair spray!

Michael wears off of the donut.

Michael: Oh right, I have to majorly change this do. It's totally not me.

Maria: not on you, you shmuck. Kyle!

Michael: Oh right...(runs over to Kyle, leans over him, and all you see are the legs kicking up and down underneath him)

Kyle: No! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Michael gets up.

Kyle now has Michael's spiky hair style.

Michael: That'll teach you for messing with us.

Cut to confessional...Kyle...

Kyle: Ok, so I made a mistake. I put something in the donuts that had a bad effect on everyone. so what? But I have to say, I have finally given up on Max. Obviously he will never love me. I guess I just have to settle with bonding with dad...the shame!

Cut back to scene with everyone else. They all stare at Alex...giving him this weird look.

Alex: What?! Why are you staring at me! Ok, so I have abandonment issues! It's not my fault they cancelled lambchops. That's what started this whole thing. So don't look at me like I’m crazy. I did the whole lambchops is hot campaign, but it was no use! If you want to look like that to anyone, go protest to the network! You all are weird too you know! (bursts out crying and runs inside, then turns around and comes back outside with tears in his eyes) Ok...I want whoever the f*ck has my f*cking woody and my f*cking buzz lightyear to give them the f*ck back to me before I kick your sorry little asses back to whatever f*cking galaxy you're from.

Liz: Alex...where did you learn all of that cursing?