Added by MiriStar
History teacher: Mr. Guerin, true or false? We’re not even a month into the semester, and you’re already failing my class. This is a new record.
Michael: To be perfectly blunt with you, sir, World War II just doesn’t do it for me.
Michael: What was World War II like?
Hal: What do you think?
Hal: Well, when the going gets rough, resort to plagiarism, huh? You kids today are softer than soap. You ever heard of, uh, Omaha Beach or the V-1 flying bomb, Yalta, Jane Russell? I mean, have you ever…
Michael: Taken my teeth out to brush them?
Cavitt: Captain. You see that troop truck? Take it directly to hangar 20. No stops. No questions. I don’t care if a family of 4 is bleeding on the roadside.
Hal: But Roswell needs all the tourists it can get, Captain.
Man at bar: But think of the possibilities. Roswell, New Mexico – home of the little green men.
Hal: So you want to hear about my day?
Rosemary: Absolutely not.
Maria: Oh, yeah, I’m not the one sitting next to an ancient gastrointestinal tract, pally.
Michael: The chicks dig it, grandpa.
Betty: Already fixed it. Cars are like men, Carver. Give their cable a little jiggle and they’ll be fine ’til morning.
Hal: They looked like human fetuses. There was 4 to a sac. 8 total. That night, I packed my things and never came back. The base was on full alert. There was no way anybody or anything else could have escaped… and that’s the story of Hal Carver. The only time I ever stuck my neck out to save anything… and it all went to hell.
Michael: You saved me.
Quote of the Week
Maria: I’m sorry. When humans need rides, they take Jettas. And when aliens need rides, they take spaceships. Oh! Find one.
