Reviews By Chad Evans

As the scene begins, Isabel says “As long as I’m back on Park Place, I think I’ll buy a hotel.” You don’t have to land on a property you own to buy a hotel. You can do it at any time during your turn no matter what property you are currently sitting on.

When buying the hotel, Isabel picks up two slips of paper money, a yellow one and a blue one and hands them to her dad. The blue one is definitely a $50 bill. The yellow one could be a $100 or a $500 (the $500 bill in the game is a darker color of yellow then the $100 but the exact shade is hard to see on my tape.) If it’s a $500 bill, Isabel should have received some change since hotels only cost $200 and she’s paying $550. If it was a $100, she was short $50.

Getting her hotel, Isabel just puts it in place. She doesn’t give back the four houses that would have had to have been on Park Place (you must have four houses on a property before you can buy a hotel.) In fact, I don’t think there were any houses there to begin with!

Isabel places her hotel on the board suggesting that Park Place is on the side of the board facing Michael. When Michael moves, from the clicks of his piece on the board, he moves nine to twelve spaces. There is a slight pause after the eighth click and before the ninth and final click so he could have just silently counted the last two or three. In either case, where he lands, he lands on Atlantic Avenue, which is right in front of him. This makes Isabel’s placement of the hotel incorrect. If Atlantic Avenue, the first yellow property, is facing Michael, that would mean Park Place would be in the corner by Mr. Evans. The two blue properties are in the same corner as the “GO” space.

I’m really not sure about this one but it looks to me like Michael rolls three individual dices. There are only two used in Monopoly. Anyone else see this?

Landing on Atlantic Avenue with four houses on it does indeed cost you $975. Score one for accuracy.

Isabel attempts to loan Michael money when he can’t pay the rent. She only gives him one piece of paper (gee, hope it was a $500 otherwise Isabel’s a cheapskate.) Her dad stops her saying that you can only get a loan from the bank. This is also correct.

Michael doesn’t appear to have any property cards in front of him. At first I thought they were on the edge of the table to Michael’s right as there is a blur of color there. But it looks like a towel of some kind. I could be wrong though.

See the glass that sits in front of Isabel on the table? I thought I was going to enjoy seeing another example of the rising and falling levels of liquids on TV but you know what, after repeated and careful viewing, the water level in the glass doesn’t change once during the entire scene! The funny part about that is that Isabel takes a drink of it and it still stays the same height. Maybe she just sipped it.

In “Morning After” Diane and Phillip come into the house and say hello to Michael. The impression I got was that Michael was a regular visitor. But in this episode, Diane says that this is the first time they’ve met Michael. As I said in “Morning After” maybe Diane has a really bad memory. Of course, since Phillip didn’t object to his wife’s statements, he must have a bad memory too. (Of course, we COULD say that the Phillip Evans seen here isn’t the same Phillip Evans seen in “Morning After” so we shouldn’t expect him to know Michael but eh, why do that?) I’ve been told that Diane was actually referring to Hank here. That ruins my nit.

There is a lovely bit of symbolism for me in the scene where Michael leaves the Evan’s home. On the porch, Michael moves into the doorway and a soft dark light shines on him. Isabel walks up and a bright light shines on her. Michael is trying to distance himself from everyone (“to hide in the dark” so to speak.) Isabel is standing in the light. A “beacon of light” beckoning him to come back. Michael leaves and Isabel moves out of the light towards the door putting herself “in the dark” unsure what to do to help him. Max then walks onto the porch with the bright light shining on him to explain to Isabel what she needs to do. “Lighting the way” for her. Cool huh? I don’t know if the director intended it that way but it is a nice theory.

When I first heard Michael say that it was Max and Isabel’s fault that he couldn’t go back to Hank’s place, I agreed with him. If they hadn’t shown up, Hank wouldn’t have pulled a gun forcing Michael to use his powers. In a way, I still think this is true but it is just another example of Michael putting the blame for his actions on Hank. I really don’t think that Hank would have shot Michael for not doing the wash.

This episode is the first time we see it raining in Roswell. But the rain behaves rather weird. During the beginning of the episode, it’s quite dry with barely a cloud in the sky (as the street scene with the mysterious palm tree shows.) Max and Isabel come to Michael’s house and Max’s windshield is wet. It’s not raining at that point. As Michael goes to Maria, we see that it is raining quite hard. But in the morning, the sun’s out and all appears dry again. I suppose this is all possible. Mother Nature is rather fickle but that doesn’t explain why Max’s windshield is wet. When we saw Michael walk into the trailer, it’s not raining. Did they take the jeep through the car wash and have Isabel wave her hand and dry them out?

Michael gets rained on a lot waiting for Maria to let him in. At the rate it was falling, he would have been soaked to the bone rather quickly. But once inside, he takes off his outer shirt to show that only the front part of his gray shirt underneath is wet. The only other part of him that is wet is his hair. His jeans are dry. Good thing too. Maria has him take off his wet shirt. What would have happened if his pants were just as wet? Mmm hmmm. You just ponder that one amongst yourselves.

Great lines this episode:

“Maria! Kitchen! Now!” -Amy DeLuca when she finds Michael in Maria’s bed. I love those types of orders.

“I know that one. I’ve used that one!” -Amy DeLuca when Maria tells her she didn’t sleep with Michael, they just slept. Yes folks! The curse your parents put on you with the statement “I hope your kids act exactly like you do” works!!!

When Amy asks why that sort of thing is ok for Maria but not for her, Maria spits out the excuse “I’m 16.” Oh, thppppppppppppppt!! Try again Maria!

Because the year is never mentioned in Roswell, I will refer to the original air date of this episode of 2/16/2000 to set the year when determining Maria’s age. As of the second season episode “Baby, it’s you”, Maria should be 17 with that info. But that can’t be right because that would make her 15 with the date of September 19, 1999 we figured up in “Pilot.” All of the jobs I have had required you to be at least 16 before you could work there. Plus, Maria was driving in “Pilot.” The webpage for the Department of Motor Vehicles in New Mexico doesn’t directly say what the minimum age you must be in order to have a driver’s license is but in Missouri, you must be at least 16. Somehow, Maria’s age is messed up (I’m told Isabel’s age is something of a debate as well in the second season episode “Surprise” and how she is able to graduate early in “Heart of Mine.”) If anyone knows when Maria’s birthday is, it would really help if you’d pass that along to me so we could clear up this age problem. In “A Roswell Christmas Carol” Maria says she is 17 so she really is 16 in this episode.

Has anyone noticed how perfectly combed Maria’s hair looks as she is sitting in the kitchen? She was just pulled out of bed by an irate mother! I don’t think she would have waited for Maria to comb her hair. But then there are some people who can wake up looking radiant no matter how much they toss or turn.

The instrumental that first appeared in “Toy House” is heard in this episode after Maria gets a talkin’ to by her mother. At least the creators only used it once in this episode. They used it more then four times in “Toy House.”

Liz is shown using her telescope inside her bedroom. The light behind Liz would render the telescope useless. Bright lights interfere with the lenses. There was a similar problem seen with the microscope nurse Helen used in “Blood Brothers.”

Liz’s bedroom window also gets a wavy glass design upgrade. The window was last seen in “Blind Date” and was quite clearly smooth glass. Maybe it’s for suspenseful romantic scenes in future episodes so Liz can ask “Who is that rapping, rapping at my chamber window?”

Was Liz so awestruck by the constellation she was looking at that she didn’t hear Max climbing the fire escape and walking across the roof to her window?

This one is sort of unavoidable but the inside of the truck that Michael and the “non-believer” ride in is very well lit for a truck on a dark highway.

When I first saw Michael cooking breakfast, I wondered how he had gotten into the house. Did he use his powers to unlock the door or climb in an open window? We know he just hates using the front door.

In case you don’t know, the judge is series creator Jason Katims’s father, Robert Katims. He is a real judge. And as a real judge, I must question him granting emancipation to a minor who has no visible means to support himself aka no job, doesn’t show up for school that often, and has a rather sketchy reputation. Hank may have set up some sort of trust for him but I doubt it.

Nasedo / Hank tells the sheriff that he is “hitching up the trailer” and is leaving town. Given that the only car we’ve seen belonging to Hank is the station wagon Nasedo / Hank drives, I doubt it could pull that giant trailer. I think that would require a large flatbed diesel truck and some “WIDE LOAD” signs. But then, we don’t see Nasedo actually do this so who knows what happened.

Also, the Sheriff asks Hank / Nasedo about the gunshot but fails to ask about the “inhuman” screams that witnesses reported. The Sheriff made it a point to tell Michael about that. I would have liked to see Nasedo try to lie about that one.

Now that Nasedo has appeared, it’s time to discuss my hatred for this alien. I’ll do this on a per episode basis for the moment.

Let’s look at this guy. First off, Nasedo obviously has no respect for life, at least not for human life. So far in the series, that we know of, Nasedo has killed five people. We know this from the photos Hubble showed Valenti in “The Convention.” There we saw a photo of an unidentified man, a police officer in his car, and Hubble’s wife. In “River Dog”, River Dog says Nasedo killed Atherton. Max suggests this was because Atherton was going to expose him. In this episode, we learn that he killed Hank. Examine these individually.

In future episodes, we will learn that Nasedo was captured by the military shortly after the Roswell crash in 1947. At some point, he escapes. We know that he takes Tess with him but it appears his ultimate goal is to get away. Now gentle readers, people who are trying to escape from something do not intentionally want to leave a trail for those they are escaping from to follow yet this is exactly what Nasedo does when he burns the silver handprint onto those he kills. Why did he kill the unidentified man in Hubble’s photos? We don’t know. Why did he kill the police officer? He could have been following him. But why in the world did Nasedo kill Hubble’s wife? There was no reason (Hubble suggests that Nasedo was trying to steal the car.) She presented no danger to him. If she saw him, he could have simply changed his appearance. But not only did he kill her, he dragged her out of her car to do it. Hubble’s photo shows his wife laying on the ground in front of the car. When Hubble went inside the old restaurant for matches, he left his wife in the passenger seat. So why did Nasedo kill her? And let me remind you that in the process, Nasedo killed her unborn daughter as well. These are the actions of a psychotic maniac not a protector to the royal family of Antar. Surely Max’s race doesn’t condone this kind of violence.

Sheriff Valenti tells Michael what witnesses said about the events at Michael’s house after he left. Specifically, the Sheriff says they heard “Screaming, crying, tortured sounds like an animal. Almost inhuman.” You know what that says to me? That says that Nasedo tortured Hank to death. I’ll admit Hank is no saint but did he deserve to die? Some might say yes for the way he treated Michael but I wouldn’t agree with that and I certainly don’t agree that he should have been tortured to death! What is it with Nasedo? Does he get some kind of sick pleasure doing this? (He appears to enjoy playing the little game of “follow the line of corpses” in “Max to the Max.”) While the sheriff tells Nasedo / Hank that he doesn’t have to sign anything, I really wonder if that is true. What happens if the IRS or the division of child social services suddenly does need Hank’s signature? The sheriff will say he left for Santa Cruz. So someone looks him up and they can’t find him. A little more checking determines that Hank’s trailer is not in Santa Cruz (I doubt Nasedo really did tow it there opting to abandon it somewhere instead.) So what happens now? Hank is reported missing. Someone’s going to ask Michael if he knows anything. Perhaps Valenti becomes suspicious again and hauls him in for questioning. The point is that killing Hank raises several questions, all of which lead directly back to Michael.

And look at how Nasedo is being seen by those he is supposed to protect. Isabel says they know nothing about him other then that he is a potential killer in “Pilot.” In this episode and the previous three, Max learns that Nasedo really is a killer and is hesitant to find him for that reason. Only Michael appears eager to seek him out. And in probably the worst example, when Tess finally appears, she is so like Nasedo having grown up knowing only him, she is seen as one not to be trusted. When she reveals the truth of who they are to the others, she rebels against him at first. Unfortunantly, she never follows through with those feelings.

The purpose of the Royal Four being on Earth is to hide them so that one day they can return to Antar and save their people from the rule of Khivar. By acting in the manner he has done, Nasedo has caused more harm then he has done good for the Royals. Nasedo uses the defense that all he does is for the Four. Nothing else matters. For a bodyguard, that’s a good philosophy but Nasedo has gone completely over the edge. At this point in the series, he is a serious bane. Sure enough, it turns out that I was right to doubt Nasedo. He may be protecting them but he’s also setting them up to be betrayed. Bane indeed.

#116 Sexual Healing – Review

Written by Chad Evans (Nitpickius Roswellian)

Don’t get this review wrong. This was a good episode in that all relationships were furthered a bit. But it left a lot for me that I felt was unanswered. The show has a really bad habit of doing this sort of thing for me.

Many times when I watch the show to add to the Powers List, I often say “Now how did they do that?” Watching the scenes with the flashes and the glowing light in Liz’s skin made me say that again. I asked myself several questions about the flashes and such.

“How can Liz have memories of the Crash if she wasn’t on it (or WAS SHE?)?” Did she get them from Max? Wasn’t he in an incubation pod during the crash? I doubt he was able to look out a window.

“Did Max pass those memories off to Liz when he healed her in “Pilot” and their activities just reawakened them?” This seems reasonable. Ava said Liz was changed in “Max in the City” (an episode I had not seen when I originally wrote this review.) It’s possible this change has made Liz more susceptible to some sort of psychic power and her heightened state of arousal was allowing her to open her mind to Max and more freely “see” things. Of course, I’ve no evidence to support that theory. Another theory is that Liz was seeing things in Max’s mind just as he was seeing things in hers (her fantasy in the shower for example.) That may explain the things Max was getting but not what Liz was seeing. Max was in an incubation pod and wouldn’t have those images in his memory.

“How could Liz have the first person view of the person who buried the Orb?” This question puzzled me the most. From what little I have gathered, supposedly, the person who buried the Orb was Nasedo as he escaped the military installation he was taken to. She couldn’t have gotten that from Max. At this time, he was growing in an incubation pod. I thought the second season episode “Summer of ’47” would answer this question. It doesn’t. It more supports my theory that Nasedo was the one who buried the Orb but why would Max have a memory from Nasedo? For that matter,why would Liz have it?

“Why was the hickey glowing?” Does Max’s saliva have some sort of phosphorescent property we aren’t aware of? The hickey also turned into what looked like a burn that Max was able to heal. Along those same lines, what was the glowing line Max traced across Liz’s arm?

“Why are Max and Liz the only one getting visions?” This one was easily answered. Neither Michael nor Isabel have healed or otherwise connected with any one in the manner Liz and Max have. The fact that there is probably a small part of Max’s essence in Liz, a side effect of the healing and the explanation for Liz’s changes, is what makes the visions appear for them. We will learn in “Departure” that the reason Maria isn’t getting any flashes is because Michael is preventing her from seeing them. So it appears that Max was just totally opening himself up to Liz and she was doing the same.

The creators are consistent with the visions. Max does not see what Liz sees and vice versa. They have to tell each other about them. It made for an interesting moment between them when Liz learned that Max had seen her fantasy (wouldn’t you have liked to have been Max in that scene and for you ladies, wouldn’t you have liked to have been Liz?)

“Was Michael lying about the red shoes he saw as well as Maria’s dog?” The creators did not explain this and I found that unsatisfactory. Since Michael doesn’t seem the type to just make up something like that, just where did he learn it? Did he talk to Amy DeLuca when we weren’t looking or was he really seeing these things? Given that we have seen Michael get flashes in the past, I think it is possible he was indeed seeing something. For instance, with the key to Atherton’s house, I once heard the power explained this way: “Events cling to objects and it is possible to concentrate and hear those memories.” It was referred to as “psychomotry.” Whether it is a real phenomenon is another matter. I guess the creators wanted to limit the vision effect for just Max and Liz. In season two’s “Departure”, Michael tells Maria they weren’t having flashes because he was not opening up enough to let her see them. While Michael might not have been open to Maria, she could very well have been open enough to him to let him see things. Of course, the creators didn’t see fit to show us these flashes so who knows. This means Michael was able to see Maria’s thoughts and Michael admits that Maria was open to him when they kissed. This is different from the way Max and Liz experience their visions.

Ok, character time. The episode accomplished something for Roswell as a whole: it made the fans happy. Finally, Max and Liz were going to be together. No more “iningpay”, no more awkward looks in the hallways at school or at the Café. They were without a doubt, a couple. Personally, I felt the sexual tension was being forced a little bit and suddenly people had forgotten why they wanted to be together or why they weren’t together in the first place. So I feel safe in saying that everyone walked away after this episode feeling that things were finally looking up in Roswell. Of course, in just one episode, another obstacle is going to be thrown into the mix: Tess is on her way.

Kissing scenes are always difficult to do on screen. A lot of it has to do with the chemistry between the actors. If there is mutual attraction there, the scenes can be handled with a bit of ease. It’s not easy to summon up the passion when you have a director and producers yelling “More passion, breathe harder.” Jason Behr and Shiri Appleby appeared to be enjoying themselves. If they weren’t, they really are good actors.

I was hard on Liz in the beginning because I always felt like she was struggling to say her lines. At times, it was almost as if she had a stutter. In this episode, there is a drastic change. No longer does Liz appear to be having a hard time saying things. Her speech was fluid and thought out. She has found the path and is walking it with ease. I like that. One of the other especially nice touches was her facial expressions. Liz was teasing Max with her eyes and how she would walk close to him as if to say “Come and get me big boy.” And when Max did, she totally threw herself to him. I think this was a sign that Liz was finally truly happy with herself and Max. That’s why what happens in the next few episodes is all the more crushing for her.

One of the things I do not understand is the hostility between Liz and her mom. I know that from the few times we’ve seen the two of them together, they aren’t exactly open to each other but we never have been given any kind of real explanation as to just why that is. This is a big hole that really needs some clarifying. But I don’t think we ever find out. And through all of this, we only see Liz’s father once at the end of the episode. It’s almost like the Parkers are too busy doing other things to play their parent roles (like hiding in the closet. See my review of “Blind Date” for more on that. Also see my review of “Leaving Normal” for a possible explanation of the tension between Liz and her mom. Season three attempts to explain this somewhat but only as far as to show the tension between Liz and her dad. The reason behind why Liz and her mom are not so close isn’t really explained that well.)

I thought it was interesting that Max was playing the submissive here. In all of their encounters, it was Liz who would come up on tip-toe to kiss him, or tell him to take off his shirt, or tell him to lie down. The cautious approach is normally one the girl takes. That is a refreshing change of pace.

However, clearly Max was torn between things like he usually is. He’s very interested in Liz. He’s very interested in the images they are both seeing but at the same time, his old insecurities are still speaking to him. He doesn’t want to hurt Liz or make a mistake. Even if I didn’t know what would happen between him and Liz, the line he said in “Heatwave” about the two of them being together wasn’t meant to be always rings through my mind when I see them together. But I also remember Grandma Parker in “Leaving Normal” saying that they wouldn’t be soulmates if it wasn’t difficult. That’s sort of an omen for things to come, wouldn’t you say?

Scrolling back through the old messages on various message boards, I saw that a lot of people thought Max touching Liz’s hand in class, and her subsequent reaction to it, were over the top. I have read and been told that in the right frame of mind, a simple touch can be just as powerful as a hard, passion-filled kiss. Although I will agree that being in a school classroom wouldn’t necessarily provoke the needed frame of mind.

There are times when I think Maria asks too much of Michael. After they start “exploring” to find their own images, Maria decides to fake one. I don’t really have to get into how devastating faking something important to a loved one is and it’s even worse when they find out. Maria told Liz she did it for an ego trip for Michael. I think that it was very unfair to Michael for her to do that. She knows how important finding clues to his home planet is to him (or maybe she doesn’t. We have never seen Michael directly state that to her.) Of course, when Maria finally does fess up, Michael is upset and Maria is almost surprised. Well, what did you expect Maria? You were lying to him!! She then wants him to talk to her. Asking an angry person to talk to you is not always the best thing to do, especially with someone as rash as Michael. Then later, Maria asks Michael not to be cold or mean to her. Easy for you to say Maria. Michael was the one being honest here. Also, Maria’s wardrobe is improving though she did look like a go-go dancer in her outfit at the football field.

Has Michael mellowed out or what? Instead of being withdrawn, Michael appears to be relaxed and trying to enjoy his new found freedom. He is even joking around with Max. Of course, he’s still new at it when he offends Max with his remarks towards Liz. Even though Maria hurt him when she said that she had lied about the visions, Michael didn’t abandon her in a rage. He even seemed to warm up to her a little more then normal when she came to his apartment. Living on his own has definitely helped him.

I felt bad for Alex here. He gets a chance to kiss the girl he wants after being turned down the day before (in spectacular fashion I might add) and the first experience in the morning after he wakes up is the same girl on his front porch saying it’s ok to kiss her as casually as she might take a step. I don’t understand Isabel’s approach to that but I’m sure that Alex was wide awake after that kiss. According to behind the scenes footage, Colin Hanks added some levity to this scene by saying “Dad, you better not eat my corn flakes!” as Isabel walked down the sidewalk.

Other then the kiss, there is nothing really noteworthy about Isabel in this episode. At least she tried to lighten up a little.

Finally! We are once again given a date for an episode though at first it didn’t help much in determining a fit into the timeline. The show opens with the caption of “February 2000.” The last date we were given was in December 2 in “Heatwave.” Then Liz Parker came through and gave the date “February 20” during the voice over in the girl’s locker room scene. Thank you Liz!!

This episode lasts three days. The first day is the make out session at the Café. Day two begins at school and ends with Liz and Max finding the Orb in the desert. Day three begins with Nasedo (in the form we saw him change into in “Independence Day”) finding the wayward two.

The opening caption does have a few interesting points. There is a Lincoln County in New Mexico. It’s to the west of Roswell on highway 380. Roswell itself is in Chavas County. So Transmission Tower 31 is in Lincoln County two miles from the crashsite. We can’t pinpoint that though because the crashsite itself is the Vasquez Rocks in California. Also, according to my atlas, there is no Highway 42 in New Mexico.

Great Lines this episode:

“Well, I have orders from my planet to take over the Earth.” -Max to Liz. One of the few jokes he tells in the entire series.

“No.” -Liz to her teacher if she has anything she’d like to share with the class.

“Go for it Maxwell. For the good of mankind you lucky, undeserving dog.” -Michael letting Max use his new place for an encounter with Liz.

So now Michael has his own place. Just how is he paying for this? Did he get a job when we weren’t looking? I don’t think the Evan’s are paying his rent. We don’t see him working at the Crashdown as a cook until “Crazy.” Who paid his deposit?

Watch closely for this one as it goes by fast. As the camera angles change around during Max and Liz’s first kisses in the opener, Jason Behr’s hair goes from being neatly combed, to ruffled, to neatly combed again. Must be a new power Max is working on called the “Always look cool” power.

There is an audio edit on my tape after the opening credits. Liz and Maria are talking and it looks like Maria says “You guys didn’t go beat off?” to Liz. I’m surprised the WB let that one slip by too (see my review of “Into the Woods” for a similar situation.) The audio edit makes it sound like Maria says “You guys didn’t go beyond?” My copy was made from a Canadian broadcast and I know that censors in Canada are strict so the edit does make sense.

Science teachers on this show have oddly written dialogue. There’s one in this episode that just makes me laugh. The science teacher says “Hydrogen, oxygen, carbon. Created in a millisecond after the Big Bang.” Now I am not up to speed on my Big Bang theory so anyone who is in the know can help me on this one but I don’t believe that the Big Bang actually created those particles. The guy also says that these particles are “The basis for all life forms in the universe, present and unaccounted for.” The guy also says that these particles are “The basis for all life forms in the universe, present and unaccounted for.” I originally said that water and oxygen are the basis of life. Reader Loni Lodwig wrote to point out my error. Carbon is the basis for all life that we know of as this is what our DNA is based on (the thing that reminded me of this was the Ilia-probe in “Star Trek: The Motion Picture” referring to all the humans as “carbon units.”) I meant to say that water and oxygen are the basis for supporting life, which is why probes sent to Mars are always looking for water. Hydrogen by itself is not needed but when combined with oxygen (H20), you get water. So while technically correct, the teacher’s line is still worded awfully weird.

The guy then says something that made me sit up and say “What?!?” Specifically, he says “Today we are going to combine hydrogen, liquid oxygen… ” At this point, the music fills in to drown out the rest of the statement while Max touches Liz’s hand. Obtaining hydrogen is simple enough. You can buy it in large gas canisters though I think you need a special chemical license for it. But the really strange part is that he is saying they are going to use liquid oxygen. Oxygen in the air is in it’s gaseous state. Air is made mostly of oxygen and nitrogen. To get nitrogen gas changed to a liquid, it must be cooled to minus 321 degrees Fahrenheit, which is minus 196 degrees Celsius. Oxygen turns into a liquid at a slightly higher temperature, minus 183 degrees Celsius. To get these gases down to such low temperatures, the air is compressed and cooled. When it is allowed to expand again, the temperature drops even further. By repeating this process many times, the air is eventually cooled to minus 312 degrees Fahrenheit. The liquid formed is a combination of oxygen and nitrogen. To separate the oxygen, the liquid is warmed just enough for the nitrogen to turn back into a gas – leaving only the liquid oxygen. I do not think that this is the sort of thing that a high school science lab would have access to!

I’m really not sure just what Liz and Max did to get them detention. Unless Liz was being loud again which she didn’t appear to be. Even stranger is that the teacher gives them detention for misbehaving together and then while they are actually in detention, heads off to leave them by themselves. Strange punishment.

The faculty of Roswell High School has suddenly decided to wake up and Max and Liz become the scapegoats. They are both found making out in the eraser room (not to worry though. They still have the janitor’s closet!) and then the principal says that they also cut two academic classes. What has taken the staff so long to realize this? Check any of my past reviews and you’ll find that cutting class and even leaving campus happens all the time. But the principal singles out Max and Liz? Of course, a few moments later, the faculty once again demonstrates that they have no control over the students when Maria and Michael are shown kissing in the eraser room. They seem to forget about it for the rest of the season too because Maria and Michael are going to interrupt Alex and Isabel in there in “Four Square.”

During Liz’s flashbacks, she sees a red giant star which she later asks our favorite science teacher about. While the home planet of the Four has never been mentioned in the show itself (until season three’s “Busted”), silverhandprint.com tells us that the Four’s home planet is called “Antar.” Oddly enough, there is a red giant star called “Antares.” It’s the brightest star in the scorpius constellation and has a slight orange color to it. It’s color is what gives it it’s name which means “Rival of Mars.” It’s about 520 light years from Earth and 230 times bigger then our sun. Antares is in it’s last stages of life. The star’s nuclear furnace has consumed its original hydrogen fuel, and is now “burning” heavier helium. As the star switched fuels, its outer layers puffed up like a balloon. Antares will someday consume its helium, converting it to heavier elements like carbon and oxygen, which will in turn continue to feed the star’s nuclear fires. Eventually though, Antares will no longer be able to use the elements in its core. The star will explode in a supernova outshining even the Moon in Earth’s sky. All that will remain of Antares will be a crushed corpse: either a neutron star – a ball so dense that a teaspoon of its matter would weigh millions of tons – or a black hole – an object with such powerful gravity that not even light could escape from it. Given this information, it sounds like the planet Antar is in mortal danger, doesn’t it? Thanks to “Mia of the Wild Sirens” for help on this.

Eating hot pizza, Isabel burns her mouth. There is some weirdness involved in this scene. First, the tobasco sauce Isabel uses appears to be a darker red color then any other tobasco seen in an episode. I thought maybe it was real tobasco sauce which would help actress Katherine Heigl with some realism in the scene. After taking a bite, Isabel waves her hands and says “Hot!” and reaches forward to grab her water bottle but suddenly stops and pulls her hand back. Now if I burn my mouth, I drink water! There are two explanations for this oddity. 1) The tobasco was indeed real tobasco and Katherine Heigl didn’t know that. Or 2) Watch her head. As she reaches for the water bottle, she turns her head slightly to the right to see Alex approaching. Suddenly deciding to play the damsel in distress, Isabel forgoes drinking the water to get Alex’s attention. Nice bit huh?

So is Antar in the Whirlwind Galaxy? I wonder if the red giant that is supposed to exist there is close to it. (Yep! See above!)

The final scenes take place at the Vasquez Rocks in Los Angeles County Park. You can see the famous stones in the background of the desert scenes where Liz and Max find the Orb. They find the object by Transmission Tower 31, which the caption says is two miles from the crashsite. We find out in a few episodes that the pod chamber is inside the Rocks. So either the crashsite itself was somewhere else or the opening caption is incorrect. The Rocks don’t appear to be two miles away.

Just in case anyone is interested, the Metallica poster on the wall in Michael’s apartment is one of the promotional posters for Metallica’s “S & M” concert (it means “Symphonic Metallica” as the album was recorded with the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra.)

I’m not sure about this one but after watching it several times, I think it’s safe to say that as Maria drives Liz home, she appears to be going in circles. The lights and signs in the background repeat.

Liz’s fire escape ladder has moved. It is now directly opposite Liz’s bedroom window on the roof. Just one episode ago, it was to the right of the window. The odd thing is that both of the ladder location’s open on the same street scene it always has. Now that is freaky folks.

#117 Crazy – Review

Written by Chad Evans (Nitpickius Roswellian)

It’s time to get “Crazy.”

This episode generated a lot of excitement for me. I became interested in Roswell for one reason. I was suffering from what I call “de Ravin withdrawal.” Towards the end of the year 2000, the ill-written Beastmaster episode “White Tiger” aired. It was the last for my favorite character on the show, the demon Curupira, played by Emilie de Ravin. I was extremely unhappy with the way she was written out of the show and because I had no idea at the time where the actress went, I was a little depressed. When I heard she was appearing on the WB’s Roswell, I decided to check it out. “Crazy” is her first appearance on the show and she came in with a bang. I was extremely excited to see her again (in fact, I met one of my neighbors when the Aresenio Hall whooping I was doing bugged them. :D .)

I was familiar with the events in every episode of season two that had aired at the time so I knew what kind of impact Tess was going to make and was well prepared for it. I knew she was a big wedge in the relationship of Max and Liz. I felt myself being a little bit biased though. I was rooting for Tess because of the actress who played her. There are a huge host of fans who hate the blond bombshell just because she was breaking up their favorite character’s relationship. With the airing of “Departure”, we know Tess’s true intentions. As I watch her first appearance, I can’t help but look at her not as the person who was just trying to fit in with the others, but as the serpent in the Garden of Eden. I find it difficult to look at her now and say she’s being sincere. However, to be fair, I reviewed the show as a fan who was seeing her for the first time and was able to look beyond my bias (somewhat. I still love Emilie de Ravin and probably would have enjoyed her performance even if she had pulled a gun on someone.)

Max and Liz spent the majority of this episode love numbed. It sure does seem like Max has gotten over whatever obstacles that were keeping him from being with Liz. He’s quick to lean down to kiss her as they approach each other. There is only one instance where Max left Liz’s side when they were together and that’s when he confronted Michael at the end of the episode. Even Isabel’s sarcastic comment to him about blabbing their secret to Liz didn’t appear to phase him. It may have hurt him a little inside but outwardly, there wasn’t much of a reaction. I was fully behind Max when he faced off against Michael in the woods. Max said that this time, Michael being Michael was no excuse. He’s got that right.

Great laughter came from me in the scene at Senor Chow’s when Max kicked Michael to tell him to go after Maria when she left the table. That had to hurt.

Apparently, there was nothing to come from the meeting with Max and Liz’s parents at the end of “Sexual Healing.” They are still together and there was no word of anyone being grounded or punished in any way. If we could all be so lucky.

There were still some leftovers from Shiri Appleby’s performance in “Sexual Healing.” In the scenes where she would walk up to Max, she would still have this wide-eyed loving look. She was still teasing Max with her eyes. And if you want to keep focusing on her eyes, I’ll mention that she was on the verge of tears everytime she shared a scene with Topolsky. After a number of viewings, I finally understood why she was about to cry. Topolsky was telling her that the possibility of losing Max could happen again. For someone who had finally obtained what she desired, I think the tears are justified.

I can only define Maria as a big yo-yo in this episode. Maria is jealous of the relationship Liz and Max have. That’s painfully obvious. The fact that her relationship with Michael is not like her best friend’s leaves her feeling empty. The first time she goes through this is in the show opener when she watches Liz and Max greet each other. And I can’t help but mention Isabel’s reaction to it either. How would you feel if you were watching your brother suck face? More on that in a moment. Michael then makes a good attempt to snap her out of her brood by mentioning his empty apartment. And it worked! Maria turns her frown upside down.

I think that at this point in their relationship, Maria is looking for more then the physical stuff and that’s to be expected. But she and Michael aren’t quite on the same page just yet. Michael has just come out from under the thumb of Hank. He has his own place and newfound freedom. For most of this episode, he is a little self-involved. That is also to be expected. Instead of allowing him time for some self discovery, Maria is almost demanding that he give her more. Michael realizes this and goes to Max trying to learn how. At least he is trying! Instead of accepting his gift of the shampoo (and conditioner!) Maria chides him saying he shouldn’t have bought the generic kind. I thought this was a little harsh but I could understand her point. Michael was rude to pass the bill off on her and his table manners were a bit piggish. Then again, I doubt Hank was one to make sure the forks were clean in the house. The “self discovery” type of behavior I’ve referred to about Michael really comes into focus in season three. Maria reacts to it exactly the same way then as she does now.

The yo-yo effect comes into play in several other scenes. First, she tells Michael that she will no longer accept just the physical from him. So Michael suggests that they double date with Liz and Max. She accepts though she would have preferred they do something alone. As she leaves the table during the date, she tells Michael about all the things he has done wrong and tells him what she would like to have instead. She wants the emotion from him. Later in the show at the rock quarry, Michael makes an attempt to do just that. Maria stops him saying she knows how he feels. At this point, I sat up and said “What!?” Michael was about to make a heartfelt confession and instead of encouraging him to tell her how he feels, Maria stops him knowing how difficult it is for him. Maaa-ria!! You were about to have your wish. Why did you stop him? I know she was making it easy for him but when you really want to hear someone say something to you, you encourage them gently. You don’t cut them off. I think she was just happy that he was making the attempt.

In another yo-yo moment, Maria refuses to let Michael go to meet Topolsky alone. She blackmails him into letting her go by telling him she’ll report her car stolen. (I think Michael could have avoided all of this by ASKING Maria if he could borrow her car instead of going through her locker to get her keys. But then she wouldn’t have demanded to go with him. It’s an unavoidable plot point but I digress…) On the way there, Maria gets scared and tells Michael to let her out of the car. There was no way in heck that Michael would have done that. When he refuses, she starts blaming him saying he has no right to put her in danger. Now that’s not fair! She demanded that she come with him. If she didn’t want to be in danger, she should have stayed at the Crashdown. Yes, I realize she went with him because she was worried about him but to throw that back in Michael’s face wasn’t right. Of course, he wasn’t right either to have gone against the decision they all made to meet with Topolsky! I think this scene was a peak point for all the frustrations involving Michael. Maria finally could no longer take Michael’s brushing her off and Max could no longer take his rash actions. An action that cost them one of the most important links to who they are: the orb.

Michael did put this all to a head though when he asked Maria why she stayed with him if he was such a loser. Ah, ha! That dropped some reality on Maria’s head.

One other thing about Michael here. He tells Liz at his apartment at the beginning of the episode that her judgement of Topolsky can’t be trusted. Oh yeah Michael? Did you forget that you were the first person Liz came to when she saw that Topolsky was carrying your school records in “Morning After”? She was suspicious of Topolsky from the start. Back off son!

I wish we could have gotten into more detail on the “debriefing” Topolsky told the sheriff about. It would have put a little more fear in us about Agent Pierce. However, because I feel that the first attempt by the FBI to learn about the aliens was full of things worthy of a Three Stooges episode, I can’t sympathize with her too much. This is her last appearance in the show. A friend of mine remarked that it was too bad too because she had nice legs (Of course, I pointed out to him that in this episode she wore pants but he’s not as nitpicky as I am.) I miss Julie Benz. This was one of her best performances on the show.

Now we come to the best part: Tess. We can’t discuss Tess without talking about Alex and Isabel because they are her first targets. When we first see Tess, she walks into the scene and sees Isabel and takes a moment’s pause preparing to approach her. She then walks right up to her and begins talking to Isabel basically ignoring Alex. As they talk, Isabel also seems to forget that Alex is sitting with them as well, too interested in the new girl’s sudden similarities to herself. I read that some people thought this was a mind warp on Tess’s part. I disagree. Tess knew exactly what she was doing here. Later at the Crashdown, Tess does the same thing putting Alex off and isolating Isabel.

This is a brilliant strategy on Tess’s part. If there is a weak link in the group, it’s Isabel. She’s been the most resistant to her past then either Max or Michael. She’s also the only one who does not have an involved relationship. Yes, she and Alex like each other, but any time Alex has attempted to move their relationship forward, Isabel stops him cold. I’m sure that Nasedo has briefed Tess on everyone so she knows their strengths and their weaknesses. Could Tess have begun with anyone else? No.
When she comes into the room at Max’s house, both men give her a cold shoulder especially Michael. Isabel angrily tells him he’s being rude. There isn’t even the slightest chance that Tess would have had much success going to Micheal because he wouldn’t have trusted her at all. Max falls silent and doesn’t speak again until Tess leaves the room. Two things occurred to me about him here. First, he was shutting down to keep out a stranger. And second, he may have been overcome a little by the beautiful girl who had just walked into the room. Max is actually Tess’s second target. I don’t believe there was any kind of mind warp involved here either because of Tess’s reaction. This is first time she has met the man that Nasedo has told her all her life she is going to be with. The look on her face borders on nervousness and delight. If there is any genuine attraction for Max in her, it was really peaked in this scene when she not only was finally seeing him face to face but hearing what a gentlemen he is as well. Yes, the deal Nasedo made with Khivar has her destiny set but why can’t she actually enjoy it at the same time?

The problem with all of this is how quickly Isabel accepted Tess. I am guessing that she was feeling a bit lonely now that both Max and Michael are occupied so she eagerly accepted Tess in. Just another example of how manipulative Tess was being to her. Tess said she hated how all the guys wanted to jump her bones and how all the girls were wondering if she wanted to jump their boyfriend’s bones. Then she looks at Isabel and says “But you must get that a lot.” When I first heard that, I thought Isabel would get angry saying “Who the hell do you think you are!?” but she doesn’t! She agrees as if she gets it all the time! It’s not something we have seen so I don’t know if Isabel goes through this or not.

Starting with this episode, the pictures of the opening credits change. The ending shot of Liz running out into the hall after Max at school in “Pilot” is replaced with the aerial shot of the gang at the rock quarry in this episode. It stays for the remainder of season one. It makes for a nice change. I saw it as saying that the story has broadened out to include all of them and not just anyone in particular.

There are no calendar dates to be seen in this episode. I am really getting annoyed with that. In any event, the episode appears to be three days long.

This is also the first episode where we see Michael working as a cook at the Café. I still want to know where he got the money for his apartment. When you first move into an apartment, most landlords want a security deposit and first and last month’s rent. I don’t think the Evan’s offered up the dough.

The Café is a dream job. Apparently, just like school in this town, you can leave at any time you want! Liz leaves early in the opener to go to a movie with Max. Then Maria and Michael tell Isabel they are going to close early. Where the heck is Mr. Parker? Would he really allow his employees to take off any time their hormones tell them to? And does he also really let his waitresses decide when to close the Café? For someone who’s sole income is his restaurant, I’m sure that wouldn’t be allowed.

Wasn’t it pretty sucky of Liz to have made plans to go see a movie with Max earlier that night but wait until the last minute to tell Maria about it and leave her hanging by herself at work? Then again, Maria did say she was going to close early moments later. Think there was another reason besides wanting to make out with Michael for that?

I thought the reaction of Max and Liz when Topolsky knocked on the jeep window was way too mild. They should have been scared out of their wits. Instead, they act like it’s no big deal. (They must have read the script )

At Michael’s apartment, they tell the story of Topolsky’s appearance and Max says “No one says “alien” and no one mentions this in public.” Sound advice Max. Too bad NO ONE has followed this advice in any episode prior to this (or after it of course.) It could have saved them a lot of trouble. Just ask Alex! Uh, well…maybe Alex isn’t the best person to ask in this regard.

Senor Chows. That’s the name of the mexican restaurant everyone eats at or goes to in this episode. Sounds like a mix of Mexican and Chinese doesn’t it? Does that sound familiar? Think back to “Heatwave” where we saw Valenti and Amy De Luca having dinner. That place had Chinese décor and the bartender was wearing a sombero. Sounds similar to me. But they don’t appear to be the same place. The restaurant seen here is darker with a heavy red coloring and it doesn’t have the same layout. The place seen is “Heatwave” was more brightly lit. I’m sure they aren’t the same restaurants. Still, it does have some odd similarities.

During her first talk with Isabel, Tess mentions that most guys just want fifteen minutes alone with her in the janitor’s closet. Is the janitor’s closet some kind of world-wide place for teens to make out? My school must have been the exception to the rule. The janitor’s didn’t have a closet. They had a small room where they kept all of their supplies. It didn’t have a door and it’s usually where the janitors hung out during school hours. There was always someone in there. Isabel says that they have an eraser room. Roswell high also has a janitor’s closet. Gee, this school is doubly lucky!

I loved that when Michael drank out of the orange juice carton, Max handed him a glass. Lovely little touch.

When flowers are delivered to Liz, we see some nuns sitting at the counter in the Café. I don’t think I have ever in my life seen nuns eating out! (There is a small congregation of nuns where I live that founded a local hospital. They don’t hang out at McDonalds!)

Yuck! What a hideous wig Topolsky was wearing when she met with Liz at Senor Chows. I guess when you’re trying to hide out, make yourself look ugly.

In the same scene, Topolsky tells Liz they can’t be seen together. Is that why she had them meet in a PUBLIC place??

In a strange bit of oddness, look behind Maria in the first scene at the rock quarry and you’ll see a tall column of rocks that someone had set up. What the heck is that for?

It’s time to nitpick addresses again. There are two in this episode that appear for Agent Stevens on Valenti’s rolodeck. They are:

Stevens, John (Special Agent) FBI
106 Hudson Avenue NW #3865
Washington, D.C. 20001
(202) 555-0107

Stevens, John (Special Agent)
Residence
6025 Murray Lane
Alexandria, VA 222313
(703) 555-0165

First of all, there is no Hudson Avenue in Washington D.C. according to my atlas. But the rest of the address is correct. Washington’s area code is 202 and one of the area’s zip codes is 20001.

The second address has it’s own problems. According to his driver’s license in “Pilot”, Max lives on Newton Avenue (I can’t read the numbers.) Max says his address is “6025 Murray Lane” in “The White Room” but his license says otherwise. Does this mean that Stevens lives at the same house that Max does? There is no Murray Lane in Alexandria but there IS a Hudson Avenue! Also, the zip code has one too many numbers. The zip codes for Alexandria, Virginia are anywhere from 22301 to 22336. The area code in the phone number is correct though. There are two for that city. The other is 571.

When Liz comes to the window asking about her chili dog order, Michael gives her an order of onion rings to bribe the customer with. As a cook, I don’t believe he has the right to just give out free food like that. That cuts into Mr. Parker’s profits! Unless he is also a manager, then he could. Someone has to be. We haven’t seen Mr. Parker in the Café during business hours at all!

The sheriff comes up to Max at the UFO Center and starts talking to him. While they chat, Max hands out masks to people who walk by him. During a shot facing Max, an elderly gentlemen walks right by and Max doesn’t offer him a mask.

Speaking of masks, they are quite unusual. If you look carefully, you’ll see that the masks don’t have any eye holes cut in them! (I can see it now. “Save me. Save me… OW!”)

When Tess approaches Isabel at the Café and interrupts her and Alex, it looks like she walks into the scene from the back. Where did she come from? Did she come in the back door? It’s possible she could have come in the front door, walked all the way around the tables and walked back to the booth Isabel and Alex were sitting at but why would she?

One other thing to note about the above scene. The look on Tess’s face and the fact that she called Alex “Al” tells me that she has no concerns whatsoever for the humans. In a few episodes, we are going to learn that this is exactly the case as she attempts to separate the aliens from their human friends.

When Topolsky walks out of the back room in Michael’s apartment, the flashlight is up and aimed directly at Michael. When the shot changes to show her holding the orb, the flashlight is suddenly aimed directly at the orb. Must be those FBI reflexes.

Let’s turn our attention to some of Topolsky’s statements. She tells us that there is an alien hunter deep inside the FBI and that even the President is on a need-to-know basis with him. The hunter answers to no one. I’ll avoid any kind of political arguments on that except to say that it is entirely possible. But I still stand by the statement I made in my review of “Pilot” that it is a branch of the Air Force that investigates aliens, not the FBI though they can assist if asked (See my review of “Max to the Max” for proof of this theory.) She tells the sheriff that Pierce killed Agent Stevens as an example to them all. That sounds like the Pierce we will meet in a few episodes. Topolsky tells Liz about a list and that everyone’s name is on it including Valenti. I found this interesting because even though everyone is suspect, Pierce only captures Max in “Max to the Max” and seems to forget about the rest of them.

I suppose we can chalk this up to Nasedo’s charade but he tells the sheriff and Max and Company that “we” traced Topolsky’s whereabouts through her use of her credit card. If this is true, it’s just another example of the ineptitude she exhibits. Topolsky is obviously afraid she is being followed and fears being caught so why would she use something as easily traced as her own credit card? Why not pick some poor dope’s pocket and use THEIR credit card? (Or better yet, use untraceable cash!)

As scared as Topolsky is, why doesn’t she carry a gun? If anything, she could pick one up at the Sheriff’s house from the collection in his living room that we saw in “Missing”? (See? I told you that could be trouble!)

As a part of Dr. Margolin / Nasedo’s story, he mentions a medical facility in Bethesda, Maryland. There is in fact a huge medical facility in Bethesda. It’s called the Bethesda Naval Hospital and it’s a military hospital. That’s very interesting. A quick phone call could confirm the doctor’s story. I wonder if the Sheriff did that. And if he did, I wonder just how Nasedo could have set that up. I doubt Agent Pierce would have used the facility to “debrief” Topolsky and the others. That’s a little too public. If the Sheriff did call and confirm it, it makes Nasedo look like he has connections in high places. (Since we know he was had made a deal with Khivar, that is a frightening prospect, isn’t it?)

And what was with all the secret meetings? If Topolsky is so dead set on giving the gang the second orb, why doesn’t she follow them to the rock quarry for example? I can understand why she would try to single out Michael. He’s the one the most obsessed with returning home (I have to wonder just how she would know that however.) The reason for the meetings is so that the gang won’t make it to the one at Buckley Point and she can get captured secretly by the FBI. Gotta love that plot trickery!

The FBI drives up to Topolsky and voice inside thanks her for “leading him to them.” Don’t they already know where the aliens are? Their names are on a list after all.

Now it’s time to kill a blooper I’ve read about. (I know. I’m stunned too.) One of the bloopers I’d seen for this episode is that Tess asks Isabel not to forget the extra sugar in the scene at the Evan’s home. After snapping at Max, she then leaves the room and doesn’t have the sugar. If you watch carefully, Isabel goes to the table and picks something up before leaving. That was the sugar.

Going after Michael, Max says there is only one road to Buckley Point. The Sheriff must have already been at Buckley Point. He drives into the scene coming away from Buckley Point on the only road to Buckley Point. Dr. Margolin / Nasedo drives up the road the same way as Max and Company came going to Buckley Point. What was the Sheriff doing up there? Searching for Topolsky? This whole thing begs the question of just how the Sheriff and Nasedo knew that Michael was meeting Topolsky at Buckley Point since the arrangement was made in Michael’s apartment and only Michael and Topolsky were there. Hmm. I think someone needs to sweep Michael’s apartment for listening devices. (There was a camera found there in “Tess, Lies, and Videotape.”)

I think Nasedo’s words about the group being safe were true words. After all, he has to keep Max alive until he can impregnate Tess right?

The orb must be related to a Mexican jumping bean. It is much closer to the tree when the Sheriff found it then it was when Michael dropped it. And the Sheriff must have really good eyes to have seen the dark colored orb symbol-down on the dark ground at night.

Nasedo is pretty selective about how he changes shape. This is the second time we have seen him do it. The first time was in “Independence Day” after he buried Hank and the only thing that changed about him was his face. But this time, it’s different. Inside the car, we see the face of Dr. Margolin melt away into a new face. Note that Nasedo still wears the dark clothing he had on as the doctor including the black gloves on his hands. As soon as the change is done, we see Nasedo get out of the car and suddenly his clothing has changed into the outdoorsy type. Remember, we didn’t see the clothing change. Only Nasedo’s face! Maybe he has super speed too (the envy of every person in a department store fitting room!)

What’s with Nasedo’s Tic Tac fixation? Does he get really bad breath when he changes forms? (I think this is a joke on the creators part. In the 70’s, comedian Bill Cosby had a very popular joke about aliens abducting people in the south and introducing the candy “Chicklets” to humans. “They come down outta the sky and um, gave us some, uh, Chicklets.”) Some have suggested that this is the Dupes protector and given him the alias “Tic Tac.” However, with all due respect, I’ve not seen anything to suggest that there are two shapeshifters in Roswell but I don’t discount the theory. Turns out that I am right. Langley, the second shapeshifter, is in L.A. We learn about him in season three. From what I’ve seen of Langley, he doesn’t seem that interested in protecting the Royal Four. Nor does he seem too inclined to leave L.A. to visit Roswell, New Mexico.

Michael and Maria don’t appear to notice Max as they are making out on Michael’s couch until they are standing right next to them. They didn’t hear them open the door or close it? Just love numbed I guess. Or MAYBE Max and Liz saw them and deciding to be sneaky, crept into the room quietly. It seems a little out of character for Max however.

During their make out session, Maria has her shirt unbuttoned. When she notices Max, she and Michael sit up and there’s a pan around the room. When the camera comes back to Maria, her shirt is buttoned up. There is time for her to button it but she’d have to be quick. If that’s the case, it’s quite understandable.

In my review of “Heatwave”, I mentioned that Michael appears to be consciously avoiding touching Maria’s chest when that is usually one of the first things a guy will reach for. Michael seems to be getting riskier because he doesn’t have any problem venturing upwards during their session on couch. Hey, way to go Michael.

The stage is now set for the Dark Times of season two and we still have several season one episodes to go. I’m excited!! “Tess, Lies, and Videotape” is next! Oh boy!

#118 Tess, Lies and Videotape – Review

Written by Chad Evans (Nitpickius Roswellian)

In the immortal words of Sherlock Holmes “The game is afoot.”

After I watched this episode, I walked away feeling I had just watched a very creepy episode. All the smiles and eerie looks from Tess and Ed Harding aka Nasedo were unsettling and reminded me of the evil witch who lived in the candy house. She would lure you in with sweets and then proceed to eat you.

The thing that stood out to me the most in this episode (besides learning that Tess is the fourth alien) is that the group went to spy on Tess without Max. Up until now, Max has always been involved in what the group did. But here, they leave him completely out. I don’t think that they even bothered to tell Max their plans either. Since it was mostly Michael’s idea, that makes sense. A little bit of revenge for all the times Max has gone off to do something and then not informed Michael about it. Touché’.

We all know now why Max kissed Tess. He was drawn to her from his feelings for her from the past. I wasn’t able to accept Max’s explanation to Liz about why he kissed Tess though. I really believe there was more he could have said or done to drive home the fact that he didn’t know why he did what he did. Instead of confessing his uncertainty, he tells Liz that Tess was waiting for him as if to say it’s all Tess’s fault. This doesn’t phase Liz and she doesn’t accept it. What really broke Liz’s heart here was Max telling her he had a flash from Tess. That suddenly made Liz feel like she was no longer special and was probably the worst thing Max could have said to her.

I realize I may not measure up to the great leader that is Max but if I were suddenly seeing visions of a new girl and did even half of the things Max did with Tess and then was back in reality like nothing had happened, I would certainly not write it off as a simple day dream. I know Max told Michael that they were disturbing but come on. These events were something that was beyond anything Max has experienced before in his life. He should have been much more concerned about them. And even though his attempt to confide in Michael failed, why doesn’t he give Isabel a try? Max’s need for control gets him into trouble every time.

During the opener, Max realizes that he is staring at Tess and immediately grabs Liz and heads to the back room to kiss her. Talk about your guilty conscious. It’s a good thing Liz didn’t realize what was happening or she probably would have been insulted.

This episode is the first one where Liz’s world begins to crumble around her. For the past couple of episodes, she has been living life on a high having everything. With Tess putting her plan into action, the most important thing to her is starting to slip away. It’s very telling of Liz when she says that her eyes tell her Max is cheating on her but her heart tells her it’s not. I don’t think Liz is able to blindly follow her heart. She tempers herself with her intellect. I couldn’t help but hear grandma Parker’s voice during the scene on her roof with Maria saying it wouldn’t be a soulmate if it weren’t difficult. Max tells her to have faith in him. She clearly does even if it’s hard to do so.

Because I knew Ed Harding was Nasedo, there’s a little scene in this episode where Liz should have been more scared then she knew. When Liz broke the statue, Tess comes into the room and immediately is afraid of her “father’s” reaction. I thought for sure that Mr. Harding was going to strike Liz or, as we know Nasedo is want to do, kill her! In fact, I’m surprised that he didn’t do anything! Nasedo thinks it’s more fun to play with Liz’s mind and invite her to dinner. This had to have surprised Tess but being a master at her trade, she falls right into line. If Liz had known the truth, I’ll bet her dark hair would now have a white streak in it (making her perfect for the part of Rogue in the next X-Men movie!!)

At the end of the episode, Liz tells Max that she doesn’t know if there will ever be enough explanation for Max kissing Tess. I wonder if after all the explanation in season two that Liz got enough of an answer. There is one other very important line in this episode. When Liz confronts Tess at her home, Tess says that what happened between her and Max will never happen again. Liz says that she wishes she could believe that. She doesn’t trust Tess at all and her concerns are quite warranted.

I’ll admit that I was slow to notice this but Liz’s wardrobe has gone from bright, colorful outfits to the same dark colors Max always wears since they began dating. Max himself no longer wears straight black. He now wears softer shades of gray though he could still disappear in the blackness of a dark alley (that probably could have helped him in “Leaving Normal” when he was attacked by Kyle’s friends, dontcha think?)

I’m starting to find the “I can do no wrong” trait that Michael exhibits to be extremely annoying. When the Sheriff leaves the Café, Michael is immediately paranoid that Valenti knows something and points out that he has the orb. Max fires back that he has the orb because Michael went against the decision they all made in “Crazy” which allowed Valenti to find it. Michael comes back with “Oh so it’s all my fault.” Yes! It IS all your fault Michael. Your continued reckless behavior keeps proving that you can’t be trusted. Max was exactly right when he told Michael in “Independence Day” that without Hank, Michael didn’t have anyone to blame his bad behavior on anymore. But that sure isn’t stopping him from trying!

Michael tells Max that he was someone he had respect for. After the punch in “Crazy” and Max confessing that he kissed Tess, Michael says he doesn’t know Max anymore. How about that? Michael is defending Liz! I do believe that this is the first indication that Michael likes Liz (aside from the statement he made to Liz in “Missing” after reading her diary.) Maria really is rubbing off on him. At the beginning of the season, I would not have thought this possible from Michael because he kept himself on one side with Max and Isabel and everyone else on the other. But despite all the good in this, Michael is awfully quick to push Max off his pedestal. Max tried to talk to him about his odd feelings for Tess and Michael just dismissed it as Max living his life by his “power source.” That’s a bit unfair though it’s right up Michael’s alley. I guess getting punched out by your friend makes you think less of them.

What’s very important about Michael in this episode is that he pursues a course of action on his own. One that is very effective too. Somehow he even convinces Isabel to take part in it without her telling Max. Just what did Max do to make Isabel leave him out? Was she as annoyed at Max’s infidelity too? It’s a dark day in Roswell when Isabel leaves you high and dry. The whole idea to use the camera to spy on the Hardings was all Michael’s baby. I’m told that in season two, Michael and Max sort of switch roles as Michael comes into his own. That’s good to hear because it began in this episode.

Maria needs to work on Michael a little bit more. After all the moving forward in their relationship Michael has done in the last couple of episodes, he takes a step backward by not telling Maria what he is doing. And that line he tells Maria about the camera having a wide angle lens? Why not just smack her upside the head? They both probably would have had the same effect on her. It’s almost like Maria is delivering ultimatums to Michael when she is trying to get him to tell her things. I personally don’t mind a friendly reminder now and then but really.

It was nice to see Liz and Maria just sit and talk about their lives again. We haven’t seen that since the ice cream session in “Heatwave.”

There are only a few things about Isabel to mention. She still sees Tess as a friend of hers and is thoroughly annoyed at Max and Michael for investigating her. But the odd part of it is that while she objects, she doesn’t stop them from doing anything. I think there might be just a bit of the wall she reserves for Alex showing up for Tess here as well. This makes sense because Tess is really going to make Isabel feel uncomfortable in “Four Square” so why wouldn’t she have some lingering doubt? I wish I knew that for certain. I don’t like thinking that Isabel would so blindly let in a stranger as she appeared to do in “Crazy.” There was a nice comforting moment between her and Alex in this episode as she leans on his shoulder at the warehouse. I think Alex is wearing down the Great Wall of Isabel.

This is the first indication we get that Alex is an electronics enthusiast. Before now, all we saw him playing with was a guitar. I’m glad the creators actually wrote an episode that gave Alex a role within the gang instead of having him appear to be the odd man out. Even Tess appears to lighten up about him. In “Crazy”, her attitude towards him was absolutely cold. In this one, she is tickled pink how Alex is so smitten with Isabel. She even teases Isabel about it. Of course, with Tess, she probably sees it as humorous. Like the way royalty would laugh at a peasant.

One last thing about Alex, his parents must be rich. He has some really nice electronic equipment. More on that later.

The mindwarps have begun! Tess begins to put her plans into action here and directs them towards her second target, Max. She used Isabel to get in the door to get close to him. Now she turns up the heat…literally. I couldn’t help but see a hint of my little green demoness’s mischievness in Emilie de Ravin’s performance. Curupira was always one to play with those around her. Tess does too. It was very hard to determine just who’s side Tess was on here (She tells Nasedo in “Max to the Max” that Max, Michael and Isabel are her people, not Nasedo.) Tess was the perfect partner for her “dad” Ed Harding. Nasedo has no social skills what so ever so Tess’s ability to lighten the situation is a perfect balance. It really was easy not to trust her in this episode. There was a lot to worry about behind that smile.

An article in FHM Magazine, Emilie de Ravin said her power was called “thought transference.” That’s cool but I’ll continue to refer to this power “mindwarping.” It IS after all, my review.

Wasn’t it interesting that Tess told Max their kiss was his mistake? No doubt she was posturing in front of Liz. What would she have said if Liz wasn’t standing there? She’d probably try for another hot kiss or worse! (or better, depending on what kind of Tess / Max fan you are.)

There are two mindwarps in this episode. The first one takes place at the Café while Max gives Liz guilty kisses. Watch closely as Max gets a flash during the kiss and you’ll see Tess’s smiling face flash for a few seconds. The second one is, of course, in science class.

Just when I think I have Valenti figured out, he goes in another direction. Trying to find answers, Valenti goes to Max and tells him of the death of Topolsky and how Dr. Margolin has no idea who he is. Valenti knows that things are way over his head so he tries to earn Max’s trust by returning the orb. While this doesn’t garner him any trust, his actions plus the interest in Tess on the gang’s part does throw them off of him enough to follow them with the camera. See? Valenti wants it to appear that he is trustworthy and just when you think he’s not so bad, we see him spying on them. Gotta love those lawmen. Knowing his name is on Pierce’s list also has him a bit afraid for his own safety and even trusting those he investigates is a risk he is willing to take to get some answers.

How about that Ed Harding huh? “If I told you, I’d have to kill you”? Think that’s what Nasedo would have done to someone if he had told them his real job, protecting the Royal Four? I do. I mentioned in the bit above that Liz was lucky Nasedo didn’t hit Liz for breaking the statue. But he didn’t have to. His expressions and tone of voice were more intimidating then any slap could have been. His offer of dinner to Liz was a surprise to both ladies. The little Q and A session during dinner was what made Nasedo decide to kidnap Liz in “Max to the Max” for his little trip. The sarcasm just oozed out of him. Ugh. He’s a despicable being!

Lookie! Kyle is back! Where the heck has he been all this time? Was he glued to the tube watching basketball? Maybe he was resting that bum ankle of his (see “Toy House.”)

There are no journal entries or dates in this episode. I really do miss Liz’s journal. It sort of made the story of Roswell appear that we were watching her life story unfold before us. In any event, this episode appears to roughly cover five days. Day one starts in the evening at the Café with the first mindwarp on Max. Day two features the second one in science class. The Sheriff going to Max at the UFO Center to tell him of Topolsky’s death takes place in day three. The Sheriff says the fire was “last night.” This probably took place in the evening because later Max goes to the Café to talk to Liz and it’s dark outside. Day three also features the ill-fated kiss and finding the camera in Michael’s apartment. Day four has them discussing the camera and Maria and Liz having their heart to heart. Day five features Alex playing the part of Q explaining the camera and Liz’s dinner at the Harding home and the discovery of the fourth alien to end the episode. The last episodes of the season run back to back with the next one taking up immediately where the other left off. Sure would have appreciated a calendar date in there somewhere! (We’ll get one later.)

I’ve always wondered this but never thought to comment on it before now. In the opener, we see Michael leaning in the window that separates the bar from the kitchen. Take note of the heat lamps shining directly on him. Those things have to be hot but we’ve seen him, Liz, and Maria showing no discomfort at having conversations under them. At least Michael keeps his hair from bursting into flames by wearing that rag on his head.

Just how many teenagers do you know who drink coffee? Add Max Evans to that list. He asks Liz to give him a refill. Maybe there’s another reason why Max was up so late painting the ceiling in “Toy House.”

The Sheriff comes in and asks Liz for his “usual.” He wants his thermos filled. He must come to get his “usual” when we aren’t looking because I don’t recall ever seeing him come to get some coffee in any prior episode. I’ve seen him come in for a Coke and to have breakfast in “Monsters” but that’s it. Well, he did come in to hit on Amy De Luca but that doesn’t count.

It’s hard to tell because of how close the camera was to the actors, but I don’t think the Sheriff paid for his coffee. He hands Liz his thermos. She fills it and hands it back and the Sheriff leaves. It’s possible he slipped her a couple of bucks below the camera’s view. Then again, we’ve never seen Max and Company pay for anything they’ve eaten so why not Valenti too? Liz must make everything “on the house.”

There’s a new waitress working at the Crashdown. You can see her behind Liz as the Sheriff comes for his “usual.” She’s working at the register and is wearing a sweater. It’s hard to tell what her hair color is because of the light shining overhead but I don’t recall seeing anyone matching her description working in the Café prior to this episode.

There’s another waitress working in the Café in this episode as well. I have seen this girl before. She has dark hair and is also standing behind Liz in the above scene. But there’s something very odd about her. After the Sheriff leaves, Michael walks into the scene expressing his paranoia. Look to the right. You can just barely see the lady at the register behind Liz. She is by herself. The shot changes to Max telling Michael the Sheriff doesn’t know anything. Back to Michael again saying the Sheriff has the orb. The lady at the register is still back there by herself. The shot goes back to Max saying that it’s Michael’s fault the Sheriff has the orb. The shot goes back to Michael trying to pass off the blame. Now look at the register lady. The dark haired waitress suddenly appears out of nowhere!! We don’t see her walking around Max or behind Michael prior to this shot. I suspect a fifth alien!

The gang are speaking in normal voices during the entire exchange above. Do they not realize there is a man sitting at a table right behind Max? Not to mention the other two waitresses working with them. What happened to Max’s order of no one talking about things in public in “Crazy”?

It’s time to pick on that silly ‘ole Roswell science teacher again (I love this guy!) The “Bill Nye wanna-be” says this interesting line: “Combustibility: When two or more chemical elements become easily aroused culminating in oxidation and eventual burning.” Despite the fact that this entire scene was written with sexual overtones, let’s take a look at his statement. First, my dictionary defines combustibility as “1. capable of combustion” and “2. easily excited.” In science, it refers to the ability of something to explode. There’s no “arousal” involved. Gasoline doesn’t get horny when you drop a match on it. It just burns!

“Mr. Nye” says the mixing of two “combustible” elements results in “oxidation and eventually burning.” Well…ok. On the surface, this sounds a bit convoluted but according to a few people I’ve spoken to, it’s essentially correct.

The Bunsen burners seen in class are way too high for ones not in use. In my chemistry class, unless the burner was being actively used to heat something, the flame was to be out and the gas off. These burners are just sitting there all aflame. It’s no surprise that Max’s shirt caught on fire.

What made Max’s burner flare up? Did he accidentally hit the gas or did someone use their powers to increase it’s flame? I suppose Max could have done it subconsciously in that manner. I’m not sure so I didn’t add it to the Powers List.

Our favorite science teacher also has Max move down to become Tess’s lab partner. What about Liz? This leaves her without a lab partner now. Does the teacher have something against Liz? We never do learn whether or not Max’s move was just for the day or permanent.

I really must question the dress code of Roswell High. Take for example Tess’s outfit in science class. If she were to take off her light sweater, she would be walking around in a small one piece top that is wide open in the back, doesn’t cover the shoulders and with just one pull of a string, the world could get quite a view. I think there is a strapless bikini type thing underneath it because the shirt stays firmly in place during all of the “hot alien foreplay.” But still. Do you think you could wear something like that to school and get away with it? I know I wouldn’t.

Tess must have some odd perceptions of Alex. During the mindwarp in science class, reaction shots of Alex show him to be smiling and laughing in his seat enjoying the show. Tess must think he is of the late night HBO viewer sect.

During the scene in the girl’s bathroom, Maria has her posterior in the sink. During the shots in the guy’s restroom with Max and Michael, we see the rather large faucets on the sinks. From the way Maria is sitting on the basin, she should be extremely uncomfortable with the faucet poking into her back. But she’s just fine. Do you know why? It’s because the sink she’s sitting in doesn’t have a faucet! Look closely and you’ll see it has disappeared.

If you’re going to refer to aliens as “Czechoslovakians”, why then say that they aren’t human in the same sentence? Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of calling them “Czechoslovakians” in the first place? Granted, this is Maria we are talking about.

At the Sheriff’s house, we see Kyle watching basketball on TV channel 3. Note the large red “3” on the TV set. The Sheriff changes the channel to the news report on “14 News.” There’s an icon in the lower right hand corner of the screen that says “14 News” with the 14 superimposed on the word “news.” Note that the TV still has a red “3” on it. The Sheriff then changes back to the basketball game. The TV still says “3.” Actually, there is an explanation for this. If you have cable TV, you put your TV on one channel, usually three or four, and change your viewing channel on the cable decoder box. The box’s number display will change but the TV’s will stay the same. But we don’t see a box on the set. Maybe it’s under the TV.

The reporter identifies herself as “Thania St. John.” Does that sound familiar? It should. It’s also the name of one of Roswell’s producers. A coincidence? I’ll let you decide.

The icon says “14 News.” So why does Miss St. John have a large “8” on her microphone?

There’s a nice little hidden bit in the scene where Valenti tells Max of Topolsky’s death. Max finishes a display that says “Trust No One.” Trust is what that scene is all about. I also wonder if this wasn’t a nod by the creators to the “X-Files.”

Does anyone else find it strange that Michael can just walk into the student transcripts room? I guess if it was locked, Michael could have used his powers to unlock it but we can’t tell if that’s what happened (though it seems likely.) At my school, student transcripts were in a vault and no student was permitted in there.

I’m assuming that Michael went to Tess’s house after school. Or maybe he didn’t. It’s not like the school staff stops you from leaving whenever you want.

Roswell continues it’s strange weather patterns. As Michael goes to Tess’s house, the gutters are running full and it’s raining with an overcast sky. In the scene immediately after this at the Crashdown, the sun is shining.

What were the military guys doing at Ed Harding’s empty house? Was it some kind of security sweep? Isabel suggests that they might have been there because of Ed’s job. If that’s the case, Nasedo has really pulled the wool over the government’s eyes. Here’s a guy the military captured and imprisoned for three years for study and when he escapes, he manages to get a job working for the same group! (This information comes from “The White Room.”) It’s perfect for him. He now has access to all sorts of government information. He’s a crafty little shapeshifter, isn’t he?

Wouldn’t a guy in army fatigues with an M16 standing on the front porch of an empty house make you suspicious? Perhaps suspicious enough to call 911? Why were those guys checking out the house anyway? The military doesn’t use armed soldiers to check houses of low-level CIVILIAN government employees.

Michael tells the gang that he saw “two men with briefcases and suits.” We are only able to see two of the three men who get out of the humvee, a man in a gray trench coat and the man in army fatigues. We never do get to see the third man that well so it’s possible he was carrying a briefcase. The man in the gray trench coat isn’t carrying anything.

Tess may be evil but she is a great host. She is quick to offer any visitors to her home something to drink. Both Isabel and Liz are treated to her hospitality. It’s not an error but it’s nice to know there are some polite snakes in the grass.

I guess Max was depressed and punishing himself because I can’t think of any other reason that he would be out walking in the rain. He arrives at the Café to talk to Liz drenched. Maybe he should work on a “keeping dry” power. Perhaps he could learn one from Michael (see “Independence Day.”)

After Max walks by Tess’s broken down car, Tess pops into the scene just as drenched Max is. She says she is waiting for help. Why isn’t she waiting for help inside the car out of the rain even if she is purposely there to meet Max? Was she depressed too? I’m sure Tess used her power to damage the vehicle but since I didn’t see her do it, I didn’t add this to the Powers List.

In the scene where Max tells Michael about kissing Tess, Michael is eating cereal with a bottle of tobasco (an interesting choice. I would have used milk.) The tobasco is a very light color of red. Almost as if it’s not really tobasco sauce (hmmmm. Imagine that?) On the other hand, the bottle of tobasco on top of Michael’s refrigerator is a very dark shade of red.

I also must note here that in season two, Tess exhibits the same tendency to use tobasco sauce on her food just like the other aliens. The creators are careful not to have a bottle of tobasco on the table at the dinner with Liz so we don’t get any early hints that Tess is an alien. It’s a minor point but a very important one!

Now let’s discuss Alex’s electronics interest. Max says that the little camera would wipe out the Roswell PD’s budget for the entire year. We learn in “Four Square” that the camera is FBI special issue. It’s safe to assume it very expensive and highly sophisticated. Yet small town high school student Alex Whitman has equipment that will allow him to use the camera. Does that seem right? Wouldn’t the FBI be a little more careful to use equipment that us normal folks can’t use? I’d like to think so but given the way the FBI behaves on this show…

One last equipment mention. Alex uses a flat screen monitor to hook the camera receiver up to at the warehouse. The picture plays on both the monitor and the receiver. The monitor looks like an LCD (liquid crystal display) and it shows a remarkably smooth picture for such an item. It’s been my experience that full motion, full screen movies on LCD monitors tend to blur a little bit as things on them move. There’s another odd thing about this set up. While the image is on both screens, everyone decides to crowd around each other to watch the tiny display in the receiver rather then watch the larger image on the monitor. I think I would have watched the larger picture myself rather then strain my eyes on the tiny screen in the receiver.

In another delightful little bit, in the scene where Alex shows them the camera and the receiver, Michael and Maria have one of their discussions. As they talk, Alex turns the camera to face the person who is speaking at the time. Once you see it, it’s pretty funny. It’s like Alex is watching a tennis ball go back and forth in a tennis match.

When Isabel picks up the box of photos, Tess immediately tells her to put it down. If she is so afraid of someone seeing the pictures, why does she leave it out for Liz to find later? Why didn’t she take it upstairs? (Because we have to keep the plot moving forward. That’s why.)

Great line this episode.

“Passing the mashed potatoes.” -Alex to Isabel as they come to rescue Liz. They are all expecting something horrible and instead, Alex acknowledges something ordinary.

One of the odd things about the show is that we never have actually seen anyone eat the food they have in front of them. Even Nasedo is not immune to this little quirk. Before I get into this, Nasedo and Tess are really good cooks. The meal of fried chicken and mashed potatoes look delicious. Ok, back on topic. Questioning Liz, Nasedo picks up a piece of fried chicken and holds it in his hands. We get a shot of Liz and then we come back to Nasedo. The skin is torn off his chicken and he’s holding it like before. There is time for him to remove it between shots. What’s interesting is that Nasedo is acting like he hasn’t moved. He asks Liz another question and we head back to Liz for her answer. When we come back to Nasedo, several bites have been taken out of the chicken. Again, there is time for him to have eaten it but he is still posed as if he hadn’t moved. It’s almost as if Nasedo asks a question, quickly ravishes his food and then takes a normal pose so it looks like he hasn’t moved at all. That’s pretty funny if you think about it. Of course, I wouldn’t be consistent if I didn’t say that neither Liz nor Tess eat anything off of their plates. The most Tess does is drink some water.

The shot goes by too fast for me to see and I don’t have the proper software to blow up the screencap I have, but according to Kate Ancel, Tess’s transcript says she was born in Omaha, Nebraska and the last school she attended was in Chicago. I wish I could read the other things that are on that transcript. I’ll bet the information on it is ripe for nitpicking!

Michael has a new front door to his apartment. In previous episodes, Michael’s door has a single peephole on it. In this episode, the door has four panes of wavy glass. Michael must also be trying to save on his electric bill because all the scenes in his apartment are very dark. Then again, when you belong to a group who can create light in their hands and light candles at the snap of a finger, do you really need to bother to turn on the lights?

This episode loses some time during dinner at the Hardings. As Liz calls Max pretending he’s her mom, the sunlight is pouring through the windows behind her. When Alex and the rest of the group come to the house, it’s night. Surely the group didn’t take that long to get to Tess’s house. I don’t think that little camera has that far of a range so I doubt that the abandoned warehouse was too far away. Doesn’t make much sense does it?

If you watch the ending scene in the warehouse, the camera pans over Michael and Maria asleep on the couch. When the camera does a far shot of everyone, Michael’s eyes are wide open. One shot later, Michael’s eyes are closed again. Must be some kind of weird alien REM sleep (Rapid Eye Movement for you non-sleep professors.)

Next, “Four Square.” Until then.

#119 Four Square – Review

Written by Chad Evans (Nitpickius Roswellian)

“You are who you choose to be. Just like you’re with who you choose to be with.” -Liz to Max.

“The circle is now complete.” -Darth Vader to Obi Wan Kenobi in “Star Wars Episode IV.” It’s not Roswell but it is exactly how I see this episode.

“You can be who you choose to be. It’s an act of discipline sometimes but it can be done.” – From the movie “The Bodyguard” starring Kevin Costner.

Those were the three lines that came into my head after I finished watching this episode. I put a lot of extra time into this review because this episode, unlike any other episode in season one (aside from “Destiny”) brings everything full circle. The Royal Four are finally reunited. From this point forward, the game is now set and the mystery will really start to unfold.

We can’t discuss this episode unless we start with Tess. Tess holds all the answers for everyone but the method she uses to reveal the truth to everyone really doesn’t make much sense to me. She is fleeting about how she tells people things. Why the big mystery? Why does she sneak around dropping hints and clues to everyone? In the next episode, we are going to see her defiantly tell Nasedo that Max and Company are her family, not Nasedo. She is just like the others and is probably looking for companionship from those she can relate to. Why not tell them everything? The answer is of course, we still have three more episodes to go this season and if all the secrets came out in this one, there’d be nothing left to finish the season with. But since I don’t deal in reality, I disregard that theory. J And then there’s the deal Nasedo made with Khivar, yadda, yadda, yadda.

There is one other possibility. By letting Max and Company know what she tells them at the rate that she wants them to know it, it makes her important. In this manner they would come to depend on her. Clever. If she really is rebelling against Nasedo, then the only reason she is doing this is to further manipulate Max.

Tess is pretty sneaky. To get Max to follow her, she starts flirting with Kyle. And it works. This immediately perks everyone’s interest. Poor Kyle. Everyone uses him for something. She then leads Max and Liz to the library so that he will see the destiny book. The book really peaked my interest. I hope that at some point in the future, the creators will scan this book for us and post it at silverhandprint.com or make copies of it for us to buy. The pictures and things within deserve further study. Probably won’t happen now. As of this writing, the site no longer exists. Now the show’s been canceled. We’ll never know!

Tess also reawakens the memory of Puhlman Ranch in Michael. She makes the four square symbol on Michael’s window. He has the flash (or in Michael’s case, a “hallucination) and then she leaves Michael to discover it’s meaning. From this, I surmise that the four square symbol has a double meaning. On the map, it marks the spot for the crash site. It also stands for the pairings of the four for mating purposes. Tess (Ava) with Max (Zan) and Michael (Rath) with Isabel (Vilondra.) That’s what Ava’s collage at silverhandprint.com suggests anyway. In “Meet the Dupes”, the “rejects” also use it for a tattoo on their arms.

Now the infamous scene in the kitchen with Isabel. I’ve seen people remark about the sexual tension in this scene. I really have to chalk this up to the male hormone and wishful thinking on said male hormones because to be quite honest, I don’t see this scene in that way at all. I can understand why people would think that but I do not. I see it as Tess making Isabel feel uncomfortable so that she would go to Max. She wanted to get them talking about things and make them curious about the dreams and symbols knowing that eventually, they would come to her for answers. And it worked! Immediately after this odd experience, Isabel went straight to Max to talk about it.

The scene with Tess and Liz in the restroom was really good. I loved how Tess showed us that the gang’s usual sneaking around isn’t going to work on her. Of course, it does have it’s own oddness which I’ll touch on later.

We now know that the Four were engineered but I’m a little confused about something. Max says all the odd things started when Tess showed up. At the same time, the V constellation came into shape. So all of the dreams and Isabel’s strange feelings come from what? The stars? Or did they come from the fact that the Four are now together and their energies are awakening the memories within them? Personally, I’m going with that second theory. Star constellations don’t affect your mind unless of course, you believe in astrology. I’ve never been one to believe that the stars make you do something. They might make you choose to go in a certain direction because of their interpretation but that’s about it. (I’ll leave it at that since any further insight would probably give me a headache.)

Tess is usually a calm and collected individual. She’s isn’t like Michael who is rash and has wild mood swings. However, Tess’s blubbering at the end of this episode as she awakens the memory of the pod chamber in Max didn’t seem real to me. Why is she on the verge of tears and suddenly appear to be afraid of Max? Also, Max tells her that he believes she is Nasedo. Instead of flat out saying “I’m not Nasedo” she just says that isn’t who she is. She continues to come off as mysterious. I frowned during all of this. I felt she should have said more to clear things up if not for Max, then for us. She knows who Nasedo is. The instant Max said “Shapeshift” Tess should have said “No, that’s not me. That’s my dad!” But that would have ruined the beginning of the next episode. I also was unhappy that the book wasn’t explained. As the episode ended, I said “The book! What about the book they made a big deal about?” Fortunately, that’s the first thing they go into in “Max to the Max” but it must have been maddening having to wait a whole week for it.

At this point, I want Michael and Max to just slug it out. The two keep dancing around that fine line and I just don’t understand why, in typical male fashion, they don’t just resort to fisticuffs. Michael has already said he doesn’t know Max anymore (he said this in “Tess, Lies, and Videotape”) and in this episode, they both hold back information from each other. They both are clearly tired of the others behavior; Michael hates Max’s constant need to control and parent him and Max is tired of Michael’s rash behavior and his unwillingness to follow orders. Let’s take a look at what they both hide.

In the past, every time Max has learned something, he doesn’t tell Michael about it. Max believes that Michael will just impulsively go off and cause problems, which is exactly what Michael usually does. In this episode, Max is thoroughly ticked about Michael’s actions in “Blind Date” with the cave map and the library. SO! How do YOU like it Max? Doesn’t feel very good does it? Of course, what does Max do? He learns about book at the library and when Michael asks what they found out, Max says “Nothing.” Why does Max keep doing that to Michael? Does he think that Michael is going to storm off to Tess’s house to steal the book? That thought had actually crossed my mind. However, I don’t think Tess would have left the book just lying around and would have simply mindwarped Michael and made him leave if he’d come looking for it. She wanted to reveal the truth to Max first and on HER terms.

When discussing the situation at the carousel with everyone, Max says that Nasedo is a killer and looks directly at Michael expecting some sort of argument. Michael remains silent. When Max learns that Michael and Isabel have left a message for Nasedo, he is angry that they have led the killer to them. “Discovery on our terms” is how Max wants it. Michael still seems to think that Nasedo has the answers they are all looking for. We find out soon enough that Nasedo doesn’t have much to say to them.

Max spends the majority of this episode in the dark. He doesn’t know why he is drawn to Tess. He is surprised to learn that Michael and Isabel have gone behind his back to contact Nasedo. I for one am glad that the mushy kisses from Max and Liz were toned down. It was starting to become sort of distracting.

Liz approaches everything in her life as some sort of science project. She analyzes all the facts and forms a plan. It’s that simple for her. However, when it concerns Max, it’s not that easy. Anything that reminds Liz that Max is not a normal human scares her. She finally admits that to Max in this episode. This to me is a sign that Liz is starting to think seriously about her relationship with Max. They’ve gotten beyond the physical and now she’s wondering if they really can be a couple. I also thought it was interesting that she no longer is holding anything against Max for kissing Tess. She understands that Max didn’t do it because he wanted to. He really wasn’t cheating on her. She came to that decision pretty quickly. This episode picks up exactly where “Tess, Lies, and Videotape” leaves off. There’s maybe a half a day between learning that Tess is the fourth alien to the scene at the Café where Liz tells Max it’s not his fault. At the end of the last episode, Liz told Max she didn’t think there would ever be enough explanation for kissing Tess. I think the truth was all the explanation Liz needed. Even though Liz told Max she wasn’t jealous of Tess, she really is. There is no shame in that though. Feeling jealous is just one way to know that you care about someone. It’s when it goes to extremes that it becomes dangerous.

Maria has really changed. It’s hard to believe that this is the same girl who ran screaming from Liz’s house when she learned that Max is an alien in “Pilot.” However, in this episode, she is a bit out of character in a small way. When Michael comes to her to talk about their relationship, she is very sarcastic to him with comments like “Are you ok?” Given the intense emotion she displayed in “Crazy” about Michael’s lack of caring for her, I would think Maria would be jumping into his arms. Isn’t this what she wanted? I guess we should just run it all through the “Maria filter” for it to make sense.

Isn’t it also interesting that while the alien aspect worries Liz, Maria is totally oblivious to it? Michael being an alien doesn’t really worry Maria.

I think the sheriff has driven it home to the gang that he is watching them. I don’t understand why Nasedo turned the camera into the sheriff. Just what did he think Valenti could accomplish? The sheriff is almost begging the gang to tell him the truth. I think the anxiety of being on the FBI’s list is starting to become quite a burden to him.

The scene in the kitchen where Max and Michael argue is the turning point in the series for Isabel. Finally tired of their bickering, she explodes on both of them saying that she is a part of this too. Katherine Heigl really does a good job in portraying the confusion and fear Isabel is feeling through out this episode. There was one point where I thought Isabel was going to fully embrace her alien side. When Tess asks Isabel if she is aware of the signals that she’s been getting. Isabel nods her head and says “No.” Yes, she NODDED and said “no.” She then snaps out of it and shakes her head no while saying “No!” again. Tess brought out a side of Isabel she previously had refused to acknowledge and the feeling was so scary, Isabel threw up a wall to block it out.

It was weird to find out that Michael and Isabel are supposed to be together. There’s nothing in the series so far that has suggested to me that Isabel and Michael think of each other in a romantic way. The most I’ve ever seen is a couple of times when we’ve caught Michael staring at Isabel’s chest. One was in “Morning After” and the other was in “River Dog.” It’s been sort of a brother / sister kind of thing between the two so the first time I saw Michael kiss Isabel in the dream sequence, I went “eeeeeew.” But it was a shocker to see Michael with the baby. Isabel was correct when she said she had never seen Michael that happy. I agree. I haven’t seen him react like that at all. Not even with Maria!

Pregnant from a dream? Oh, give me a break. How Isabel would even come to that conclusion is beyond me. I’m glad Tess cleared up that foolish notion in “Max to the Max.”

It was great to see Kyle again. He has been AWOL for too long. I do so love the humorous lines the writer’s give him. He’s still not afraid to express his bitterness to Liz about their break up.

I did laugh pretty hard at the fish out of water situation Isabel put Alex into in the janitor’s closet. I don’t think Alex was prepared for Isabel to come on to him so strongly. He kept backing up into the corner as she got close to him. I think Alex is a nice balance for Isabel and she really needs that from someone who isn’t in her immediate family which may have been part of the reason she was so willing let Tess in. Isabel has kept pretty much everything in her life bottled up behind her walls. She couldn’t ask for a better confidant. He would have been a better fit then Jessie whom she marries in season three.

Speaking of the incident in the janitor’s closet, were Maria and Alex just too love numbed to see the uncomfortable looks Michael and Isabel were exchanging? In “Tess, Lies, and Videotape”, Max pulled Liz into the back and gave her guilty kisses when he caught himself staring at Tess. Isabel and Michael sort of do the same thing here.

In the next episode, we are going to see the book show the pairings of the Four. The Antarians who wrote it obviously did not take the human factor into the equation. Michael’s attraction to Maria and Isabel’s attraction to Alex have thrown a damper into their great plan. I think that if the Antarians had really wanted things to turn out as they planned them in the book, they would have isolated the Four. Then again, tell a bunch of teenagers “You WILL do it this way” and see how successful you are.

All in all, this is an incredibly powerful episode even if it did leave me saying “But, what about this?” over and over.

No dates start this episode but it picks up right where “Tess, Lies, and Videotape” left off. The next episode will pick up where this episode ended. In this one, this episode lasts roughly three days. There is one date given later in the episode. It’s on the star chart program on the computer Liz uses. Max tells her to look for today’s date. It’s 5/27/2000. This is on day two.

In the opening, Liz follows Tess into the restroom. Liz comes in and looks around and the camera pans with her as she looks under the stall doors. Liz turns around in a complete circle and we do not Tess in the restroom. Liz finishes her turn and suddenly, there’s Tess! Just where was she? The camera showed us the small area and she clearly was not in there. Either Tess was in one of the stalls standing on a toilet lid or she mindwarped Liz to make herself invisible.

Speaking of that restroom, it is identical to the men’s restroom seen in “Tess, Lies, and Videotape” including the poster on the back wall. Nope. Not gonna touch it. Not me. Noooooo way!

As Nasedo talks to the sheriff about the tiny camera, shots outside the Sheriff’s office window show leaves from a tree blowing in the wind. When we got an outside view of the window when Michael broke into the Sheriff’s office in “Morning After” we see there is a set of bars on a gate over the window. The office is on the second floor and opens into an alley. There were no trees within sight in that alley. So unless there’s someone running around Roswell with a bottle of Acme Quick Grow, those leaves should not be there.

One of the Sheriff’s photos is of Nasedo shaking hands with Liz with Max standing next to her in front of the closed doors to the Harding’s house. The photos come from the Sheriff’s camera recon at the end of “Tess, Lies, and Videotape.” However, I do not know where this photo came from because we never saw Ed Harding step outside the house. When he bid Liz and Max goodbye, Ed Harding was standing inside an open doorway. The sheriff must have some kind of psychic camera.

The FBI tomfoolery continues. This time, an agent spying on the gang is seen with an umbrella as the gang talk at the carousel after the opening credits. He is in plain view and clearly watching them. You know, the guy who was behind the grassy knoll is smarter then the FBI. At least he was trying to hide! (I realize the episode never states that this guy is FBI but what else could he be?)

The weather continues it’s odd behavior. When the show starts, we see that it is raining at Tess’s house. After stalking Tess in the restroom at school, the episode picks up at the carousel. There’s a large puddle on the ground to go along with the rain seen in the previous episode. In all camera shots facing the carousel, the sky is dark and cloudy. Once Liz and Max walk off the carousel, we see the sun is shining behind them. When we go back to shots of Michael still standing on the carousel, the sky is dark and cloudy with no sun. It actually is possible that the clouds are doing this. It just looks funny considering the freaky weather we’ve seen in the past couple of episodes.

At the Café, Liz says “She’s an alien Max.” What happened to Max’s rule of “No one says alien or talks about this in public” he made in “Crazy”? Even if he hadn’t said that rule, there’s a guy sitting two seats away at the counter behind Liz. Sheesh!

Going over the transcript Isabel retrieves, Liz reads off Tess’s class schedule. She says “Science Lab third period, hallway between fourth and fifth, and PE.” I have a screen capture of the class schedule Isabel pulls up on the computer. I don’t know how to post pictures and shrink them down or I’d post it for you. But according to the computer, Tess has Home EC fourth period, lunch between fourth and fifth period, Algebra fifth period, and creative writing sixth period. Do they call lunch in Roswell High “hallway”? I’ve never heard of that one. It’s also noteworthy that Tess doesn’t have seventh period. My high school had seven hours worth classes with a half an hour for lunch.

During the creepy scene with Tess and Isabel, Tess quickly arranges some sugar cubes into the four square pattern. A far away shot of the cubes between Isabel and Tess has the upper left cube off center from the ones around it. Once we get a full close shot of the cubes, they’ve all been aligned next to each other perfectly.

There are a few leftovers from “Heatwave” in this episode. As Michael comes down a set of stairs at school to talk to Maria, there’s a young couple flirting quite openly on the steps. When everyone was making out in “Heatwave,” they could do so and not garner any attention but when Michael and Maria kiss in this episode, everyone is watching. Even the teachers are watching. Embarrassed at the attention they are getting, Maria and Michael head over to the janitor’s closet and interrupt Alex and Isabel. Remember, there were teachers watching all of this. They watched them walk to the janitor’s closet! Do they really allow students to go in there? How come Alex and Isabel didn’t get in trouble like Liz and Max did in “Sexual Healing”? In that episode, Liz and Max’s mothers were called in to the principal’s office.

Speaking of the attention the kiss got, there is one girl who was a bit impatient waiting for it. Look in between Maria and Michael as they talk and you’ll eventually see a girl with dark hair, a dark jacket, and a book bag. She keeps glancing at Michael and Maria waiting for them to kiss. When they finally do kiss, she gives them one last glance and then heads off. Nasedo maybe?

Alex takes Isabel home where she goes to her bedroom to take a nap. There are a few things about this scene I noticed. First, Colin Hanks adds a nice touch to his character by constantly looking around the room. This is the first time Alex has seen Isabel’s room so this is a natural reaction for him. Nice one Colin.

Prior to entering Isabel’s bedroom, Alex says that he can have a Galaxy Melt at any time because he knows the cook. The cook is Michael. Is he still giving out free food? He gave away a free order of Saturn Rings to an impatient customer in “Crazy.” I wonder how the Crashdown makes any money with it’s employees just giving food away.

As Isabel lies down, the camera moves around and we get a quick shot of her bare feet. They are quite dirty! The soles of her feet are almost black. Diane Evans needs to clean her house!

Alex also makes an unusual statement here. He says “You’re the one who said that you couldn’t sleep last night. Maybe you’re the one who’s hungry.” Excuse me? I don’t think Isabel is hungry Alex. I think she is TIRED! Since when does being sleepy make you want to raid the fridge?

Isabel also falls asleep incredibly fast. As soon as her head hits the pillows, she’s out. Wow. Quite a time saver.

Ok. Let’s take a look at Isabel’s dreams. Keep in mind that freaky things can happen in a dream so we have to take these nits with a grain of salt.

During Isabel’s second dream, she makes out with Michael at the crash site above the map symbols. When we see her and Michael getting hot and heavy, they are way up at the top on the very edge of an outcropping of rock. Does that sound like a good place to be making out? A little dangerous don’t you think?

Also, during the first dream, Isabel wore pink slippers with her long, dark dress. In the first part of the second dream as Isabel looks at the map symbols on the ground, she is still wearing her slippers. When she is laying on the ground with Michael, her feet are bare.

One of the in-flashes as Isabel and Michael kiss is of Max’s cheek cells that Liz looked at under a microscope in “Pilot.” Why are they thinking about Max’s cheek cells? Making out with Isabel would certainly not make me think of her brother. Nor his cheek cells for that matter.

After her first dream, Isabel woke up with a small scream. After the second dream, she calmly opens her eyes and doesn’t even sit up. When she has her third dream where she envisions the baby, Isabel sits up quickly with another small scream. Maybe dreaming about making out on a rock face made her cautious about sitting up too fast.

In Kate Ancel’s review of this episode, she listed a set inconsistency. She said that before Kyle came into the Café, shots of Maria showed a dessert freezer directly behind her. When Maria asks Liz if she listened to Kyle’s warnings about Max, there are two shelves with colored glasses directly behind Maria. Earlier in the episode as Liz told Max she was scared of Tess, you can see the dessert freezer between them. The shelves of glasses are directly to the right of the freezer. This isn’t an inconsistency with the set per say. Maria just decided to take a hop to the camera’s right for some reason between lines.

Great Line this episode.

“What a knock out, huh? Can’t beat a blonde! Oh, sorry.” -Kyle when Liz mentions Tess. He just had to remind Liz about their break up.

Tess dresses really provocatively for a date at the library doesn’t she? I wonder what she would have worn if Kyle had taken her to a monster truck rally.

As Kyle and Tess move towards the back wall of the library to retrieve the destiny book, Kyle refers to the books as the “ancient languages” section. The books look like encyclopedias to me.

Trying to get something going, Kyle suggest that he and Tess start “speaking the most ancient language known to man.” So does Kyle want Tess to start speaking Latin or are they going to start grunting like cavemen? (Yes, yes. I know, I know. I just couldn’t resist.)

Where did Tess get the ladder she climbs? When we see a shot of them walking down the aisle away from the camera, there’s no ladder to be seen. There isn’t enough time for them to have retrieved a ladder when we cut away to see Max climbing the bookshelves. Maybe they are in a haunted library.

Michael tells Max that the Puhlman Ranch was taken over by the government in 1947 and that they had wiped it’s name off the maps. If that’s true, why do we see a sign hanging on the barbed wire fence that says “Puhlman Ranch” when Max and Tess drove there? “Say what soldier? This isn’t Puhlman Ranch? Then what’s that sign there, hmm? Huh? Hmmm?”

Everybody goes to Max’s window. Even Tess! Not that I’m complaining, mind you. I can only hope that Emilie de Ravin would come to my window. Ahem! Pardon me.

Why does Max have flashes but Michael has “hallucinations?” No wonder these two argue so much.

Thinking Tess is the shapeshifter Nasedo, Max asks her about the murders. Specifically, he demands she explain the death of “William Atherton, the man who wrote the alien book.” Who’s William Atherton? Is he related to James Atherton, the man who lived in the geodesic dome we saw in “285 South” and “River Dog” and author of the alien book “Among Us”?

Growing frustrated with Tess, Max hauls her up by her jacket and throws her to the ground. He then forces her head down by putting his hand on her head flat against her ear. Max screams at her to shapeshift and show him how she really looks. Considering he has his hand over one of her ears and the other pressed against the ground, do you think she heard him? Perhaps Jason Behr was trying to keep from hurting Miss de Ravin’s ears when he shouted at her by covering her ear with his hand.

The child actor who plays young Max in the pod chamber is not the same one who appears in the flashbacks of “Pilot.” Also, the girl who plays Isabel looks to be the same one but in this episode, the young Isabel’s hair is hanging off her shoulders. The young Isabel in the flashes Max shared with Liz all show her with short hair barely to the end of her neck. Maybe even at a young age, Isabel was fashion conscious and went to get a hair cut so she would look good when the Evan’s found them.

In “Balance”, Max tells Liz that his first memory of Michael is when he appeared to them on a bolder in the desert. This episode shows that the first time Max saw Michael was in the pod chamber. I guess we can say that what he saw in the desert was the first time he REMEMBERED seeing Michael until Tess reawakened the memory of the pod chamber within him.

Ok. Let’s take a quick look at the pod chamber sequence. We’ll touch on this a little more when I review “Max to the Max” and we see it again.

When young Max first breaks through the pod casing, his hand is covered in a gel and it pours out of the hole. This makes sense. When we see Tess in her pod, she’s suspended in a liquid. It’s safe to assume they all were. When Max pokes his head out of the pod, no more liquid pours out. It must have evaporated instantly when it came into contact with the air. Otherwise, there would have been a lot more to spill out if the pod was filled with the stuff.

The kids are all covered in the gel from the pods. But when the Evan’s found them in the desert according to Max’s connection with Liz in “Pilot”, they were clean and dry.

I don’t think this is ever explained in any episode in season one or season two but why didn’t Tess awaken in her pod at the same time the others did? The entire flow of the show might have gone completely different if Tess had grown up with them.

The outer covering of the pods appears to be a membrane of some kind. It’s not solid and gives easily as young Max pushes against it. But when young Max wipes his hand across the pod containing the young Tess, it’s as firm as glass. The moisture on the outside even streaks like glass. Maybe the membrane is solid until the occupant inside is ready to emerge.

The flash of the pod chamber is only about two or three minutes long. When we come back to reality, the sky quickly changes from night to day suggesting a long period of time has elapsed. Why? Did it really take that long for Max to relive these memories? It shouldn’t have unless…the whole experience was a mind warp by Tess. I doubt it but you never know.

Up until now, for anyone to get a flash, they had to be touching the person or object they get the flash from. Max tells Liz in “Pilot” he has to touch her to share memories with her. When Max gets the flash about the pod chamber from Tess, he is laying on her (Yup, I’d say that qualifies!) but when the memory is over, Max is no longer touching Tess and they are both standing at least half an arm’s length apart from each other. I guess once the connection started, it played out until it was over. But could you really be seeing a flash through your mind and manage to stand up during it? I guess it’s possible but it would have to be disorienting. But that doesn’t explain how Michael got his flash when Tess came to his window. Tess didn’t touch him nor was Michael touching the symbol she breathed on the window.

#120 Max To The Max – Review

Written by Chad Evans (Nitpickius Roswellian)

So, how many of you still like Nasedo after threatening to kill Liz if she lost her worth to him? Before I jump into this, when I am referring to Nasedo in the form of Max, I’ll call him “Nasedo / Max.”

Yes, that Nasedo is one evil guy. If you have read any of my past reviews where I’ve mentioned our shape-changing friend, you’ll know that I don’t particularly care for him. He has no value for life except for the lives of the Four and has demonstrated this on a number of occasions. He tells Tess that if he has to kill people, he will. I may not particularly care for his morals but this really does make him the perfect protector. He reminds me a lot of the character Anya in the “Star Trek: The Next Generation” episode “The Dauphin.” In that show, Anya was Salia’s protector. At one point in the episode, Anya encounters a crewmember in sickbay who has an infectious disease and Anya demands the patient be killed to keep Salia safe. That is something that would be right up Nasedo’s alley. Still, there are a lot of instances where Nasedo himself actually puts the Royals in danger with his actions.

My congratulations go out to Jason Behr in this episode for the dual role he played. My favorite moments in his performance as Nasedo were in the car as he told Liz what he had in store for her. My absolute favorite moment was at the amusement park where he tells Liz to pick a shell. When Liz hesitates, Nasedo tells her to pick one again in a much sterner and louder voice. And it was done so casually! He then sums up the premise of the entire episode with the line “Don’t believe everything you see.”

Max Evans is one confused young man (alien.) Max must have control in everything and when something happens that reminds him he is a victim of the unknown just like the rest of us, he gets angry. However, in this episode, Max just confuses the heck out of me.

Max risks their secret by healing Liz. He says he did it because “It was you” referring to Liz. Now he defends himself whenever someone brings this up but if someone else does anything that he believes will expose them, he speaks up. It’s almost like he believes the rules apply to everyone but himself. Now who does this remind you of? It reminds me a lot of Michael and how he has reacted in the past. Do you think that is why Max and Michael are at odds so much? They see a piece of themselves in each other!

Ok, let’s get to the confusing part. In “Tess, Lies, and Videotape”, Max goes to Michael and tries to talk to him about Tess. Michael blows him off and Max gets physical, demanding that Michael listen to him. Now jump forward to this episode. Isabel mentions the baby and Max, who hasn’t been told this little secret, reacts with what I would describe as calmness. Now just hold on a second. Michael has just implied that he and Max’s sister have had sex and Max just takes it all in stride? No way! Given Max’s past behavior, he should have grabbed Michael and hauled him into the air by his collar and shouted at him. Yes, I KNOW that Michael and Isabel didn’t do anything but Max doesn’t know that. All he knows is that there is a baby!

In another confusing moment, Michael says that they were designed. Max responds with “That’s impossible Michael.” Oh yeah Max? So is healing someone with a touch or making parking meters shoot sparks but we’ve seen it happen. Just why is Max so quick to dismiss the truth? That’s something I would expect from Isabel, not Max.

Yet another confusing moment. Michael wants to talk to Tess. He believes she can explain things to them (and sure enough, she can and does!) but Max says they can’t just go asking her things. Why not Max? Is that not why you went with Tess to the crashsite yourself, to find some answers? Or do you just have a problem with Michael talking to Tess? I guess that’s it because he says he will talk to her. Isabel says Max told them not to trust Tess. Max says “Who said anything about trust?” Isabel, completely frustrated at this point, asks “What are you saying?” Yeah! No kidding. What IS Max saying? Why doesn’t Max just say “I’ll get all the answers because I’m a control freak”? That is how he is coming off in this scene.

Oh yes, more confusion. Max wants to go rescue Liz. When Isabel says they all must agree to it, Max says “Since when?” Since “Crazy” and the meeting at the rock quarry Max! Michael then says that there are rules. Max fires back that the rules didn’t seem to apply to him and reminds him of going to meet Topolsky despite their decision not to. Michael counters saying that there have always been rules and they still apply. Yeah? Maybe only if there’s something that you want to do, eh Michael? (Is anyone starting to get dizzy from the odd dialogue yet?) In all fairness, Max is probably not thinking straight because his true love is in danger but he knows all the things Michael is telling him so that’s why I mentioned this.

I think in this and the last episode, we are seeing a side of Michael that not even Maria gets at this point in the show. He is compassionate towards Isabel and her situation. He wants to help her. He hugs her with no hesitation. With Maria, there is still a bit of space between them that keeps them from being totally together. Did anyone notice that Michael and Max are a bit calmer then they were in “Tess, Lies, and Videotape”? They are both finding the truth of what they are and that common bond brings them beyond their petty rivalry for control or at the very least, makes Michael set it aside to deal with the more important issues.

I think there was a small bit of disappointment in Michael that there wasn’t a baby. The happiness that a perspective child would have brought to his life was very compelling to him. To have that taken from him was sad for him but at the same time, he was relieved Isabel was ok. I can’t wait to see if Michael reacts the same way should a similar situation come up between him and Maria!

Did you notice that when Liz broke down realizing Max had been captured that Michael moved to comfort her? I hearby christen this Michael the “new and improved Michael.”

When faced with the truth, Isabel runs from her alien side. After a few seconds inside the pod chamber, she bolts out the door back into the daylight. But she doesn’t totally reject it. She thumbs through the destiny book looking at each page even when Max and Michael start talking about the baby. And yes, she was relieved that she wasn’t pregnant (who wasn’t?) After the opening scenes however, Isabel becomes strangely quiet until Nasedo kidnaps Liz. But she has been through quite an ordeal so that’s understandable. Isabel says that before they go after her, the must all agree. She is no longer drawing the line between the humans and the aliens (in this situation that is.) I think Alex might have had an influence or two here.

Speaking of Alex, did he win over the audience when talking to Isabel in the Café? Despite believing she and Michael were future parents, despite that this meant she was cheating on him, he is supportive. Now who wouldn’t kill for a boy / girlfriend like that? I also loved how Alex was to Michael. Michael makes sarcastic remarks to Max about going to Valenti and Alex brings him down to earth saying that’s not what Max meant. I love it!

Overhearing Isabel and Michael’s conversation about the baby was devastating to Maria. I’m glad that she calmly approached Michael to talk about it instead of demanding answers in typical Maria fashion. She told Michael that he should not have referred to their relationship as “stupid” if he didn’t mean it and I was right behind her on it. When Michael came to break the news to her that there was no baby, he did so as casually as one might say hello. Maria isn’t one to just accept it and say “Oh, that’s great” and move on. Not after spending the past several episodes trying to make Michael talk to her about anything and everything.

Also, where did Maria go after telling the Sheriff their false kidnapping story? She isn’t with the rest of the group when they set off to rescue Liz. This is not Maria’s style. She would have wanted to personally help her friend.

In my opinion, this is first episode where the result of Max’s healing affects Liz. What do I mean? I’m talking about the changes Ava mentions in “Max in the City.” Her powers! Yes, Liz has powers. She even admits herself to Nasedo that Max “changed her.”

Ok, specifically, when Liz kisses Nasedo / Max, she gets black and white flashes. It tells her that the person she believes is Max is not Max. When Liz was getting flashes, I thought it was because of Max but now, it appears to be that it’s also Liz’s doing too. Of course, the smart alec in me sees great use of this power when facing future shapeshifters. All Liz has to do is kiss them, get a flash, and tell whether they are who they really claim to be! (I’m joking, I’m joking.)

The only other really notable things about Liz in this episode is how she was teasing who she thought was Max about pulling over for a kiss. Sure enough, Nasedo / Max pulled over! (Well, well, well, Nasedo’s a boy dog!) The other thing was her break down at the end of the episode. Her worst fear has now come true! But Liz, the trooper she is, is not going to let that get her down as we will soon see.

After all the sneaking around in the last two episodes, Tess suddenly becomes less of a troublemaker. Even when Michael grabbed her and threw her into the jeep as they headed off to rescue Liz, she didn’t put up much of a fight. I cannot help but mention that while talking to Max about her life with Nasedo, she seemed to be coming off very heartfelt and honest. No doubt she has lived a very lonely life with the shapeshifter. I think Tess was getting excited at the talk about mating. She was almost devouring Max with her eyes during that talk. Before we move on, take a moment to look at the first shot of Tess during the flashback with her and Max in this talk. Tess looks straight at the camera with an intense look on her face. A look I describe as a look of warning. Then she kisses him. At that very moment, I believe Tess told herself that Max belonged to her.

We all know what Tess does in season two. But right now, in this episode, Tess is openly defiant to Nasedo. What’s odd is that in “Tess, Lies, and Videotape”, Tess was downright spooky and appeared to be the perfect partner to Nasedo. In this episode, Tess expresses her disgust at Nasedo having learned from Max that he has killed many times since they’ve been together. A fact that Nasedo apparently kept her in the dark about. Angered that she’s been paired with a killer, Tess starts to leave the pod chamber. Nasedo, taken aback by Tess’s actions reminds her they have been together a very long time and if he must kill to protect them, he will. Tess finds fear in his voice and Nasedo admits that Pierce is very close to finding them. This explains why Nasedo was so angry at Tess for bringing the kids to the pod chamber. At first, I couldn’t understand why Nasedo was so upset and thought he was angry that the kids had learned the truth. Tess had taken a huge risk bringing them to the pod chamber and Nasedo was slapping her down for it.

How many people thought that Agent Pierce was really struggling not to fill the Sheriff full of holes when told to clean the coffee pot and wash the truck? Of course, the nitpicker in me immediately says the Sheriff doesn’t drive a truck. He drives an SUV!! (Pick, pick, pick, pick, pick.)

The date of 5/27/2000 that Liz gave us in the last episode helps immensely in figuring out the timeline. Believe it or not, it works perfectly to finish out the season because most schools end on or around May 31st for summer break. Liz goes to Florida for the summer after “Destiny.” Works out perfectly. There are no dates in this episode but it doesn’t appear to last more then one day. The show opens right where “Tess, Lies, and Videotape” leaves off and ends that night at the amusement park with Max’s capture by the FBI.

Tired of wondering whether the FBI really did pursue aliens and UFO’s and the like, I finally broke down and called the Bureau, getting a phone number from the local police station. It took a few tries but I was finally directed to a representative that answered a few of my questions. When I asked my first questions, she responded with “You’re writing a book, aren’t you?” (heheheh) When I asked if the FBI really did investigate aliens, she said that they did not but I could ask the Department of Defense! (Phil Farrand got a similar answer for his book “The Nitpicker’s Guide to X-Philes.”) So there you have it! Why is the FBI investigating the aliens?

The FBI tomfoolery continues. As Nasedo drops a coin into a parking meter, he notices a man watching him and heads off to lure the guy to him. You have to watch carefully because the camera moves over him quickly but this guy is wearing the typical black suit and standing right beside a car with his arms folded on his chest looking right at Nasedo. That’s really covert, isn’t it? In short order, Nasedo kills him when the FBI guy, who is supposed to be amongst the best and brightest in law enforcement, foolishly follows him into an alley.

In “Destiny”, Pierce tells Max that the former heads of the FBI special unit all died when their internal organs reached a temperature of 180 degrees. I’m sure that is how Nasedo kills the FBI man in this episode. Here’s one of the problems I have with Nasedo. Can he not use any other method to kill people? Is he physically weak? If he isn’t, he could simply snap people’s necks or strangle them. That way, their deaths could appear to be from a mugging or a serial killer. Or better yet, he could shoot them! Getting his hands on a cache of weapons shouldn’t be a problem for someone who can take any form he wishes! Instead, he uses a method that immediately identifies the killing as done by an extraterrestrial power. Is this some kind of shapeshifter ego? He kills someone and wants everyone to know about it? What kind of protector puts those he is supposed to protect in danger by leaving evidence of their existence all over the world? Smart Nasedo. Real smart.

And speaking of the 180 degrees, why are their no external signs of such a thing? (Aside from the silver handprint that is.) That would surely cause bleeding of some sort but none of the bodies seen prior to this episode show any evidence of this. Yes, the photos are all in black and white but blood would be visible on a black and white photo. On my tape, it appears that the agent Nasedo kills in this episode gets a skin discoloration in his face and neck. At least that is something.

In the destiny book, we see pictures of what the kids will look like at various stages in life. One of the grown up photos shows Tess’s curly locks. Emilie de Ravin’s hair is normally straight but is naturally curly on the ends. Apparently, the Antarians who engineered the Four are control freaks themselves. They’ve genetically programmed Tess to style her hair in a particular manner. Now that’s attention to detail folks!

The flash between Max and Tess has Tess wearing a very noticeable silver watch. It’s not a nit really but Michael and Isabel weren’t wearing any jewelry during their dreams in “Four Square.” I just thought it was a weird time to be wearing a watch.

A number of towns and highways are mentioned in this episode. Deputy Fisher (AKA that darn Pierce) says his father was a sheriff in the town of Las Vegas, New Mexico. There is a Las Vegas in the state. It is north of Roswell. Just take 285 North to Interstate 40, take a left to highway 84 and turn right. (Just in case you want to travel there someday.) Nasedo / Max says he left a present for Pierce on “Highway 380 to Hondo by mile marker 67.” There is also a Hondo in New Mexico. It’s west of Roswell on highway 380. Kudos to the creators for their accuracy on this! As for the infamous mile marker 67, the sign turns up in season two’s “Departure” inside Kyle’s house. Since Kyle wasn’t involved in this episode, I wonder why he has that sign. Does he collect morbid things?

So who was working at the Café when the gang leaves to rescue Liz? We get a full pan of the Café in the conversations before they leave and we see that Maria is the ONLY waitress working! Liz was just going to start her shift when Nasedo / Max kidnapped her. Who’s taking customer orders, the cook? There was another cook working that day because Michael appears to have the day off. The Crashdown must do some monster business when it’s staffed because I can’t imagine how they stay open when their employees leave whenever they want to.

Great line this episode:

“And tell ’em what? There’s two Max’s? The good one’s right here but please help us catch his evil twin!” -Michael wondering what they will tell the Sheriff.

Nasedo / Max is really moving in the car he uses. To date, I’ve not seen anyone in Roswell drive that fast! The background is zipping along as he calls the FBI to tell them about his surprise. Nasedo must also project a wind force field when he drives similar to the one Max uses in past episodes. While driving, neither Nasedo / Max’s or Liz’s hair is blown by the wind.

Along the same lines, Max fails to use his wind force field when driving the jeep. Tess’s hair is flying about so strongly, she has to hold it in her hand to keep it from flying into her face. Then again, maybe he’s doing it on purpose because he believes that Tess knows more about Nasedo taking Liz then she’s admitting. Yeah, that’s right! Cross Max Evans and he will ruin your hairdo! (Don’t believe me? He would have made Mr. Shallow a blonde in “Blind Date” if Liz hadn’t stopped him.)

I’m not sure this one is really what you can call a mistake because Mother Nature is fickle but I wouldn’t doing my job if I didn’t mention this. Nasedo / Max puts his hand on the gas pump and it begins to smoke. It puffs out enough smoke to partial hide him in the white stuff. The wind blows the smoke back towards the main building. He gets back in the car and a far shot as he pulls away from the pump shows very little smoke coming out and it’s now being blown back towards the car to the left of the screen away from the main building.

That tiny little gas station has an incredibly sophisticated surveillance system to produce the picture of Nasedo / Max that is faxed to the sheriff’s station.

As the Sheriff takes off to investigate the explosion at the gas station, we watch him pull away in his “truck.” Then Max & Co. come screeching around the corner and the jeep comes up on two wheels! I wonder if the production staff had a little chat with Jason Behr about his driving skills. The jeep could have easily tipped over and injured everyone in it! (Yes, I know he was supposed to be going fast but there’s fast, and then there’s almost-tipping-over fast.) I do believe this is the fastest we’ve ever seen Max Evans drive (see my review of “The Convention” for an example.)

I want Katherine Heigl in the car with me when I get pulled over for speeding! All she had to do was bat her eyelashes and say they were sorry and Deputy Fisher decides against giving them a ticket! I know a few girls who admit that this tactic does indeed work!

There’s a very strong white light in this scene whenever the camera’s view is behind Deputy Fisher. Whenever the view is from the jeep facing Fisher, there is no light. Where doth this light cometh?

Arriving at mile marker 67, the FBI agent tells the Sheriff to leave. Valenti tells him that this is his county and he has jurisdiction. I did a little looking and Valenti’s statement is correct. Sheriff’s control the county they are elected to. In this case, anything that has to do with law enforcement and investigation in Chavas County, New Mexico (which includes the city of Roswell) is under Valenti’s control. The FBI may take control if the head federal officer on the scene exercises his right to do so. Realistically, if the Sheriff reports that his authority is being ignored, there will be an investigation (unless there is a government cover up.) According to the Bureau’s representative, matters of “national security” are controlled by the CIA not the FBI. Actually, the Bureau told me that this “national security” stuff is open to interpretation. It actually depends on the circumstances of the incident which determines what agency responds to it. For instance, if a Federal building is taken over by men with guns and they take hostages, the FBI has control. If someone threatens the President, that’s a job for the secret service. If someone is threatening to bomb Washington, it’s the CIA’s job to find out who, what, and when and stop it. But it really doesn’t matter because once he sees the really nifty “Batsignal”, Valenti leaves the scene!

The big question is that if the FBI didn’t want anyone to intrude on the scene, why didn’t they quickly remove the body and leave instead of going to all the trouble to rope it off with yellow tape? There have been enough of these types of murders in the past that they should know what to look for.

As Max & Co. drive upon the scene at the mile marker, Tess panics and tells Max the men there are members of the special unit and not to stop. She tells him to “Just go!” So what does Max do? He SLOWS down as he drives by the scene before finally speeding off. Then to make matters worse, he stops a ways down the road to watch! We see the Sheriff speed by him heading towards the “Batsignal” in the sky. Stupid Max. REALLY stupid.

Nasedo / Max gets Max’s hair exactly right. Star Trek’s “Deep Space Nine’s” Odo would be proud.

Nasedo tells Liz that his only concern is the Four. That’s the only thing he cares about. When the real Max comes to the house of mirrors, Nasedo tells him to leave. Shortly thereafter, the FBI nabs Max! So what does Nasedo do? Instead of luring the FBI away from Max or bursting through a few mirrors to save him and burn a couple more agents, he grabs Liz and runs out of the mirror house! Does that seem right? Liz’s kisses must have done more to Nasedo then he admits.

Watch the scene as Liz and Nasedo / Max get on board the bus. Outside the bus, Nasedo / Max gets on first with Liz following close behind. When we switch to the bus’s interior, Liz comes up the stairs first with Nasedo / Max behind her! Whoops.

Did Nasedo lose his bottle of Tic Tacs? Perhaps when he took the form of Max, he inherited Max’s excellent dental hygiene. We never see the breath mints again.

I can’t find one instance in the mirror house where the camera appears in the mirrors. Kudos to the creators!

“They have Max!” Next, “The White Room.”

#121 The White Room – Review

Written by Chad Evans (Nitpickius Roswellian)

This episode gives us the most information about the gang as far as what they are then any other in season one. The only other episode that even comes close is “Destiny.” We’ll get to that episode and the information therein in it’s review.

This episode was especially good for two reasons. One, it was written by Jason Katims and Thania St. John (I guess she got tired of being a reporter (see my review of “Tess, Lies, and Videotape” for more on that.)) This is good because Katims knows exactly how his characters should act so his insight in a script always makes for a good episode. The second thing about this episode that’s important is that it’s directed by Jonathon Frakes aka Commander Riker. This episode deals with torture and bizarre images in Isabel’s dreamwalks of Max. Frakes was the perfect choice for an episode of this nature because he had directed a show of a similar nature before. It was the “Star Trek: The Next Generation” episode “Frame of Mind.” In that episode, Riker experiences hallucinations of being captured and held in a prison on the planet Tilonus IV. It’s all part of his mind fighting back against an alien device designed to extract information from him. It was a really good episode and watching “The White Room” made me think of that past accomplishment. Both are terrific TV episodes.

There wasn’t much for Max in the way of character development. He spends every second of this episode scared out of his mind. Max refuses to admit to Pierce anything until Pierce changes tactics and threatens Liz’s life. At this, Max’s emotions explode and he is willing to do anything to keep Liz safe. Jason Behr’s performance in the torture scenes was incredible.

Liz however is living her worst nightmare. Her beloved Max is captured and may possibly die. This is probably the most alone Liz has felt in her life. The scene in the Café where the others all go to someone for comfort leaves her feeling isolated. After a few seconds of this, Liz turns to Tess demanding to know where Nasedo is. Liz is also the one to go to Valenti for help. In my opinion, Liz is the only member of the cast who could do this. She does it saying that Max wanted to trust the Sheriff and that was a good enough reason for her to trust him as well. She went through her own torture session waiting until four o’clock and then she finally could no longer wait. Good thing she didn’t either because without Valenti’s timely arrival, both Max AND Michael might have been captured.

There’s nothing really significant about Maria and Alex here. Maria does take things rather calmly and that doesn’t seem quite like her. Especially when you watch tense situations she’s gone through in past episodes (all without her much needed Cyprus seed oil too!) I guess she was just trying to be strong for Liz’s sake. My favorite Maria moment in this episode is as the aliens head out to go to the base, Maria tells Michael “Come back to me.”

Katherine Heigl does an excellent job of walking the fine line between desperate and hysterical. It’s clear Isabel doesn’t trust Nasedo. She also doesn’t appear to trust Tess anymore either. She does so out of necessity. However, just before Nasedo tells them about his plan, Isabel expresses her concerns saying it’s possible Nasedo and Tess are working for Pierce. I realize Isabel is panicking here but that statement is more far fetched then Michael believing River Dog is their father in “Into the Woods.” I guess this is one of those statements that needed to be run through a “Maria filter” because by itself, I couldn’t and wouldn’t accept that as true.

Finally Michael meets the being he sees as his teacher and father. Everything Nasedo is and does is overwhelming to him as he tries to take it all in. He’s put Nasedo up on a pedestal and has not let anyone bring him down from it in his mind. Because of the situation, Nasedo is unable to give him the answers he is looking for. But Nasedo does finally fall off of his pedestal when he kills Agent Matthews in front of Michael. Michael finally realizes the truth that Nasedo is a killer. The “killing is wrong” moral that he has grown up with tells him just how evil his “father” is. If Michael’s relationship with Nasedo had been given a chance to be furthered, he would have never seen Nasedo in the same light again.

To the rescue comes Tess. First and foremost, she tells the humans that they are “a liability.” I don’t believe this is a “Us and Them” type of thing. Not at this point in the series. I think it was just her telling the truth. There was nothing Liz, Maria, and Alex could do but the aliens, however unadvanced as they are with their powers, are better equipped to save Max. There was nothing malicious about that. Just the truth.

But despite being helpful in saving Max, Tess can’t resist playing. When Isabel asks her what her role will be, Tess creates the mindwarp that an agent has picked her up and carried her off. Isabel is already shaking and about to crack from the strain of waiting and is made even worse by seeing that. Once the mindwarp is over, Tess has a playful smile her face, proud of what she has accomplished. It was not the time for that! I’ve no idea what she was trying to accomplish there.

Revealing this power to Isabel has her come to the conclusion that this is why Max had all the thoughts about her. I will agree with this to a point. All the images Max had of Tess like the kiss in “Tess, Lies, and Videotape” (the one in the Café where Max was kissing Liz, not the one in the rain) and “Max to the Max” was this power. But was Max feeling drawn to Tess the same mindwarping? I say no. In “Destiny” we learn that Tess (Ava) was Zan’s (Max’s) bride. We even learn that Max was genuinely attracted to her in her past life as Ava. Brody’s memories from Larek of the first time Zan saw Ava prove this in the episode “Off the Menu.” So while Max may not specifically remember her from the past, he KNOWS she was a very important part of it and this is where the feelings of being drawn to her come from. Max himself admits he doesn’t know why. Max being drawn to her is not itself a mindwarp. In my opinion, the mindwarp excuse is used far too much to explain things people don’t like or don’t understand. Most of the time, the answer is right there but it’s not always easy to see.

Nasedo is the creepy hero here. Nasedo sums up his character with the line “Humans are weak, which doesn’t bother me.” Humans are beneath him so of course, killing them means nothing. He knows everything about the Four including their powers. It sure would have been nice to have him around before now, wouldn’t it?

I’ve seen statements about Nasedo saying he doesn’t have emotions. Some claim his line of “Emotions are a weakness” is proof of that. I disagree. Have you ever heard the phrase “Control your emotions or they will control you”? If you’re frantically angry or afraid, you aren’t thinking clearly. You have to stay calm to be in control. This is what Nasedo means. He’s trying to make Michael calm down so he can focus on the task at hand. Nasedo does have emotions but his focus buries them making him appear to be a cold, emotionless being. In fact, he’s just well disciplined.

There’s no date in this episode. The last date we were given was 5/27/2000 in “Four Square.” This episode picks up probably no more then a couple of hours from the events in “Max to the Max.” The time this episode covers appears to be no more then twenty four hours. Michael, Isabel, and Tess go straight to the base after learning where it is. Shortly before 4 P.M., Liz goes to Valenti and he drives to the base to help rescue Max. The episode ends with them still in the building. When “Destiny” begins, it will immediately pick up at that point and it’s dark outside making it no more then mid-evening.

In “Pilot”, Valenti pulls Max over and asks to see his drivers license. As I said in my review of “Crazy”, the numbers on his license are hard to see but I can make out “Newton Avenue” as Max’s street address. In the same episode, we learn that “6025 Murray Lane” is Agent John Steven’s home address from the Sheriff’s rolodex. In this episode, Max says his name and gives his address as “6025 Murray Lane.” No wonder Pierce decides to proceed the hard way. He knows Max is lying from the very beginning because Pierce knew that wasn’t Max’s real address.

Deciding to go the hard way, people come in and put Max on a table and one of them takes a syringe to draw some of his blood. If you will look carefully at the shot of the needle filling with blood, you’ll see that the needle misses Max’s vein. His vein is right beside the needle’s point of entry. Missed it by that much! You can still draw blood that way but it would be painfully slow. Then again, maybe that was the point.

When Tess brings up the idea of using their abilities to save Max, Alex asks Isabel about her ability to dreamwalk. When did Isabel tell Alex about that power? Was it when she told him the truth about herself in “Balance”? It must have happened when we weren’t looking because in that episode, Isabel only told him about the ability to manipulate molecular structure and then turned ketchup into mustard (or made it yellow.)

Let’s go over the facts about the bodies of the Royals we learn in this episode. Since they were all made the same way, the things Pierce said about Max applies to all of the Hybrids including the Dupes (except for Nasedo and the others like him of course.)

From X-rays, Pierce finds that Max’s skeletal structure is 100% human. He goes on to say that his organs and pulmonary and circulatory systems are also 100% human. From this, we can assume that all his other bodily systems are human as well. Nasedo tells Michael that their brains are also human and so are his powers. They can do everything the human mind is capable of. They are just thousands of years more advanced then mankind’s minds are now. Many times in science fictions stories, this little bit has popped up. There is a part of our brains in the frontal lobe that has mystified scientists in what it does. It doesn’t appear to be a part of memory or control any bodily processes. The movie “The Lawnmower Man” and the movie “The Shadow” propose the theory that this area of the brain does indeed have a use. It is the source of unlimited power. Once tapped, humans are capable of most anything. But we have long forgotten how to tap into that part of our minds. A human brain thousands of years into the future may know how to access this part of the brain. So if that is where the Four’s powers come from, sci-fi wise, it makes perfect sense.

Now here’s where it gets tricky. Pierce shows Max a slide of his blood cells and says they are completely not human. First of all, the picture is the same picture of Max’s cheek cells that Liz looked at under a microscope in “Pilot.” The reason they were green was because she put a drop of green dye in them. It’s possible that dye was used in this instance as well. However, in humans, if you were to look at a blood cell and a cell from your cheek under a microscope, you can clearly tell a difference. Red blood cells do not look the same as a skin cell. So according to the picture in this episode, Max has one type of cell for both his skin and his blood. Since he is a genetically engineered being, it’s possible but biologically “iffy.” Unless Max is really a plant, then it works just fine! (Plants have only one type of cell throughout their structure.)

Of course, if there is no dye and the cells shown really are green, you have to wonder why Max’s blood is red. Of course, our blood is different colors too. Enriched with oxygen, blood is a bright red. When the red blood cells give up their oxygen, it turns blue. When we cut ourselves, it looks red because the oxygen in the air is soaked up into it. Maybe Max’s green blood cells turn red in the presence of oxygen.

One last thing. During the Hybrid Chronicles in season two, Larek tells Max that the gandarium is the bridge that joins human DNA with alien DNA. Without it, the two biologies will not interact with each other. So did Pierce’s analysis of Max not turn up the gandarium in his body? Either Pierce didn’t go that far into it or the substance itself is untraceable.

To make this simple, let’s just go with this: Max and the others are human in every way except for their blood cells.

Here’s three more deaths by Nasedo. All were heads of the FBI special unit. All the towns mentioned are real towns.

Delta, Colorado 1962. Agent Lewis killed.
Union City, Tennessee 1967. Agent Del Beonko killed.
May 2, 1999. Agent Daniel Summers, the man Pierce got his job from, killed.

Pierce doesn’t mention any in between 1967 and 1999 but there had to be others in there somewhere. You have to wonder what it was about the job that made people want to take it. “We’re offering you a job agent. All the other heads of this unit have been killed. But don’t worry. You’ll be ok.” Odd job security. Season two’s “Skin and Bones” has Congresswoman Whitaker speak about another murder in 1972 so there must have been many more murders then the ones Pierce mentions.

Pierce says that there were four aliens captured in the crash in 1947. Two were dead and two were alive. One of these was held in captivity for three years and the other one escaped. Nasedo tells Michael that he knows the base intimately because he escaped from it once before. So Nasedo was the one who escaped first (the enhanced features of the Roswell soundtrack confirms this.) Shows a lot of comradeship on his part leaving and abandoning his fellow alien, doesn’t it?)

In season two’s “Summer of ’47” we will see for the first time that there are two aliens. Hal Carver comes upon them in the room with the pods. He tells the aliens to “save them” referring to the pods. The little white guys must have been captured after getting both sets of pods to safety. Nasedo escapes and the last one stays captive in the white room for three years. We aren’t told about this little guy’s fate but the Dupes refer to their protector in “Max in the City.” Tess says that Nasedo has never left her alone so the Dupes protector wouldn’t have been Nasedo. We learn about this alien’s fate in season three.

Views from outside the white room show two way mirrors. From inside the room, there is no indication that there is any kind of mirror. The walls all look like set tiles. When Nasedo uses his power to break the mirrors, we see that it was painted to look like tiles. Why wasn’t there any indication of this from the outside? No lines, no nothing. I’ve never seen that kind of two way mirror.

Isabel identifies the symbol Max showed her on the floor of the base as a floor tile at “Eagle Rock base” in the UFO Center display. There are several military bases in New Mexico but none of them have ever been called Eagle Rock. There’s Cannon Air Force Base and many others. When we finally get some shots of the outside and inside of the base, it appears to be a hospital. There are signs pointing towards “radiology” and “blood lab” that look like the signs you’d see in a hospital. Would it have been too hard to say that it’s an abandoned hospital and not a military base? Again, the episode “Summer of ’47” tells us there is a military base thirty miles from the crash site. It’s never named specifically however in the episode. Perhaps that is “Eagle Rock.”

When the episode begins, Tess is still wearing the dress and blouse she was last seen wearing at the end of “Max to the Max.” After Isabel dreamwalks Max the first time, they all head to the UFO Center and Tess has changed clothes to a shirt, jacket, and pants combo. Isabel contacted Max in Liz’s room which is right above the Café. The UFO Center is directly across the street from the Café. So before going to the UFO Center, Tess apparently went home and changed clothes. What bad timing. I suppose she could be wearing some of Liz’s clothes but I REALLY doubt it. When they arrive at the base, Isabel has changed clothes as well. It appears that she changed clothes after leaving the UFO Center but BEFORE driving to the base. Now her outfit change makes sense. With Tess, it appears that she made everyone wait for her while she changed clothes yet Isabel waits until they go to leave. Would it have been too much for them both to get new outfits at the same time and then meet up with Michael to go to the base?

One last comment on apparel. When they first enter the base, walking down the lighted tunnel, you can see that Isabel and Tess are wearing some shoes with monster heels. Now I understand that big heeled shoes like that are the rage but wouldn’t a more sensible pair of shoes be called for? Maybe a pair of sneakers or some running shoes? This type of thing calls for quick, stealthy movements. Why slow yourself down by wearing a pair of shoes that will definitely hinder you? We know Isabel owns a pair of running shoes because she takes up jogging in season two. What about Tess?

We don’t get any indication to suggest what time it is when they go to the UFO Center but given the circumstances from “Max to the Max”, it would be mid or late evening. What times does the UFO Center close or is it open at all hours? It’s possible one of them used their powers to unlock the door but we didn’t see that so I wonder how they got in.

Ok, time to look at Pierce’s torture of Max. After Max refuses to answer any of his questions, Pierce calls in some people and pumps Max full of chemicals. We don’t get told what kind but it’s possible they used sodium penathol (truth serum.) Pierce has no idea how Max will react to any kind of drug. We know that one sip of alcohol makes Max drunk immediately. We saw this in “Blind Date.” For all Pierce knows, simple aspirin could kill Max but instead of taking the time to test what these chemicals will do to Max by using tissue samples first, Pierce lets his people dope Max up. Considering Max’s value to Pierce, does that seem right? Now you might argue that Pierce does know what the chemicals do because they might have been used on the captured alien in the 1940’s. No, no, no! That alien is not the same as Max. Max is a hybrid. The chemicals may not affect the two beings in the same way. It just doesn’t seem right to me to want to damage your prize by doing something that might kill him. And yes, I know Pierce threatened to kill Max many times but I think that was just to get him to talk. He didn’t intend to really kill Max. At least, not at first.

Pierce’s next tactic is to physically torture Max. He drops him in cold ice water and then electrocutes him. Pierce then gives up on this approach and tries to emotionally torture Max by threatening Michael and Isabel. He finally gets some cooperation when he threatens to kill Liz. Not that I approve of Pierce’s methods but it seems to me that this would be the best way to go. Once he realized that Max was more afraid of what could happen to the others then he was himself, Pierce should have followed through with his threat and picked up EVERYONE and torture them to get Max to talk. Instead, he seems content to keep Max. What was he going to do? Torture Max until he died and then pick up Isabel or Michael? Pierce is going about this the wrong way.

After flushing the chemicals out of Max’s system, Pierce tortures Max with electricity. When we see him getting dunked into the tank, they have taken away his shirt. After that is done, they must have given Max his shirt back because when Pierce decides to torture Max by promising to hurt his friends, Max is wearing a shirt. Why’d Pierce give him his shirt back?

Coming to his senses, Max jumps at Pierce and corners him against the wall. Pierce tells him to not even try to use his abilities because they’ve injected him with a neuroinhibiter that prevents it. So why doesn’t Max just kick his ass? Yes, there are agents on the other side of the door but why not try it?

This is important to note. Isabel thinks the man under the sheet is Max. Tess says that she would have felt it if something had happened to Max. From this, I would think she means that if he had died, she would have felt it. At the moment, Max is being tortured. If Tess could get feelings from Max, she should be able to feel the fear he is experiencing.

I realize that the base / hospital is supposed to appear abandoned but it’s unbelievable that Pierce didn’t tighten security now that Max was on the premises. Michael and the others enter the base with apparent ease through the tunnel. Not to mention Nasedo getting in as far as the security door. No roving patrols? No snipers in look out on the roof? (I swear. EVERYONE in the FBI is a moron!!) Of course, if they couldn’t get in, it would have been a short show.

As Nasedo / Agent comes into the morgue, Michael attempts to use his powers on him. Papers blow around, lights fall from the ceiling, a freezer door opens and the entire room shakes. Did no one else in the building feel the tremors or was it just confined to that room? Something like that should have brought the entire building on alert! However, maybe it was just the camera shaking because everyone is standing upright with no difficulties. I’ll bet the cameraman was hoping this take was done in one shot (“Dang it Frakes. That kid’s powers are making me seasick!”)

When talking about the security door, Isabel says she can open it. Nasedo says no. He says the door is made of depleted uranium which contains heavy atoms that they can’t manipulate. Uranium is a highly radioactive but naturally occurring element on Earth. It makes sense that Four cannot manipulate it. Uranium has a half-life of about 247,000 years. In other words, it takes that long for HALF of it to wear down. There are methods one can use to shorten that timespan and make the uranium inert (non-radioactive.) When uranium decays, it turns into lead. That’s right. Plain, old, simple lead. Why didn’t Nasedo just say the door was made of lead? (Because it’s more COOL to call it uranium, that’s why!) The metal might be uranium but what about the glass? Nasedo could smash it, take the form of a mouse or something (assuming he can actually do that. He may only be allowed to change his appearance and not become another type of being), walk through the bars, hide, turn back into an agent and vio-la! He’s inside! That’s assuming it IS glass and not some kind of thick plastic.

After Nasedo knocks Michael to the floor, listen to Emilie de Ravin say “It’s you!” and you can hear her Australian accent. Has Tess been to Australia and picked up this little quirk? (snicker, snicker)

Nasedo gives Michael a map of the base and tells him to scan it into his brain. This power is forgotten because no one practices or exhibits it in any other episode. Too bad too because it sounds like a handy power to have. This is another prime example of how Nasedo’s absence has hurt the Four power-wise. Without someone to train them, they probably never will be able to tap into their full potential. And that’s quite a shame considering Nasedo’s statements to Michael that he can do anything he sets his mind to.

Trying to inspire Michael to quickly learn how to change his fingerprints so they can open the security door, Nasedo tells him if he doesn’t, he’ll use the hand of the agent coming down the hall “and you know how I’ll get it.” By this, Nasedo means he’ll cut the guy’s hand off. This presents the inherent flaw to the door’s security. Nasedo cannot open it because while he can match a man’s fingerprints, he cannot change his skeletal structure. So the FBI put an x-ray scanner on the door as well. So by himself, Nasedo can’t open the door. But if he really wanted to get in, he could simply cut off an agents hand and use it to get inside. It sounds gruesome but it seems like something that is right up Nasedo’s alley. I’m surprised he doesn’t carry around a lucky agent’s hand (as opposed to a lucky rabbit’s foot.)

Showing Michael how to change his fingerprints, he holds up the dead agent’s hand and straightens it’s finger. This isn’t possible. When a person dies, a process called “rigor mortis” sets in. It’s a complex chemical process inside the body but to make a long story short, the body stiffens in place (hence the term “stiff” to refer to a dead body.) The time it takes for rigor mortis to set in depends on the temperature. At colder temperatures, it takes longer. If the temperature is warm, it will happen quickly. Normally, it takes about three hours for rigor mortis to set in. In the warm temperatures of New Mexico, it would take anywhere from three to eight hours for it to happen. The dead agent seen here is the one Nasedo killed in “Max to the Max.” That was more then twenty four hours ago in show time! That body should have been as stiff as a board. That means his arm wouldn’t bend at the shoulder or the elbow and unless his finger was already pointing straight, impossible to move! The arm and the rest of the back of the agent’s body would also have been black and blue from all the blood collecting in the back due to gravity (Boy, am I pointing out all the sick stuff or what?) Update: According to someone who works in forensics, rigor mortis eventually wears off. Just as it takes longer to set in with colder temperatures, the warmer it is, the sooner it wears off. Also, the body would have begun to smell VERY badly!!

Michael shows some amazing intestinal fortitude to be holding a dead man’s hand in his. Not once does he grimace or feel like he’s going to be ill. He’s probably seen it on TV and refuses to let it bother him.

Nasedo appears to be very confused at Michael’s reaction to his killing of Agent Matthews. He doesn’t understand why Michael is so against killing. Michael tells him that Nasedo doesn’t appear to care. Damn right!!!! (Ok, it’s not a nit. Just me backing Michael on a very important detail about our shapeshifting friend.)

Speaking of poor dead agent Matthews, Nasedo kills him and then leaves his body on the floor of the morgue for the two agents to find later. Nasedo killed him saying he couldn’t take a chance of running into the person he was changing into in the hallway. So why didn’t he toss the body into one of the giant freezers? The door to one of them is still wide open. Why increase the chance of discovery by leaving proof of yourself for others to find? I’ll tell you why! Because Nasedo does that ALL THE TIME!! As evidence, the silver handprint on the bodies of those he kills. The guy WANTS to get caught I tell ya!

After changing Michael’s clothes into a suit, Nasedo hands him a comb. Where did he have that comb? Did he have it in his pocket or did he manipulate something he always carries into a comb? It seems unlikely that a being who can alter his shape would carry something to fix his hair when a simple wave of the hand would work just fine. Not that Nasedo has a lot of hair to worry about in the form he always takes anyway.

Other then what I’ve mentioned, I didn’t see anything else wrong with this episode. Kudos to the creators!

#122 Destiny – Review

Written by Chad Evans (Nitpickius Roswellian)

“It has begun.”

The season one finale was a very good ending to a superb first run. It kept you on the edge of your seat and wondering how it was going to turn out. It has a little bit of everything. It has sacrifice, it has suspense, a little action, a little sadness, a little understanding, and a small bit of pain.

It’s unfortunate that the torture Max endured in “The White Room” didn’t seem to adversely affect him and after one night’s sleep, Max is seemingly back to normal. I guess we could chalk this up to his mind not being able to be so easily broken but it sure looked like he was having difficulty when posturing for Pierce that he would make the Orbs work. In season two, there is little reference to this episode except for one mention in “Skin and Bones.” For us humans, traumatic events can stay with us for some time. I guess it helps to have a little alien DNA at times.

I’m sure everyone who is a Max and Liz fan felt a rush of passion when Max and Liz said they loved each other. It only made the end of the show even more heartbreaking.

Even if I hadn’t known otherwise, it was clear even in “Pilot” that Max was the leader of the group. Both Isabel and Michael seemed to accept that when Nasedo let them know who was their leader. It was Max who was surprised about it. I don’t really know why though. I guess Max is one of those types of leaders who has the ability to lead, but not the desire to do so unless circumstances require him to. There’s an example of this in this episode. As everyone muddles about at the abandoned silver mine unsure of what to do, Max comes in and immediately takes charge. He says they won’t run and that they will stand and fight. Everyone agrees and even Michael goes along with it without a word of protest. In fact, Max and Michael put their differences aside and work as a unit for the first time. I like that. Michael is the type of follower who feels it’s his duty to point out alternatives but when Max makes a decision, it’s his duty to carry it out no matter what. That’s exactly how it should be.

The only complaint I have about Max in this episode was that I was wanting to see a bit more rage in him when he was talking to Pierce in the UFO Center. He didn’t have to hurt Pierce but I would have liked to see Jason Behr gritting his teeth or looking at him with a fierce look in his eyes. This was the man who had tortured him.

You know, at the beginning of season one, it was really hard for me to get behind Liz. She seemed so unsure and quirky about everything that I really didn’t care for her that much. After “Leaving Normal” and “Toy House”, I changed my mind and found she was really someone I could get behind and empathize with. When she would say or do something, I was able to say “Yeah, that’s right” with regard to Max and how he couldn’t seem to commit. But Liz did something in this episode that really made me shake my head. After fleeing the base and eluding the FBI, Max and Liz hide inside an old bus for the night. After getting a flash from Max about the torture he endured that day, Liz takes a moment to comfort him and then decides she wants to talk to him about their relationship. Slow down girl. Max could have died and all you want to do is talk about destiny and your relationship? No, no, no, NO! What Liz should have done was spend the night comforting him. I’m sure that an “I’m sorry about what has happened to you” would still have led to Max telling her he loved her. She should have left all the destiny stuff for another time. That’s just my opinion of course. Max didn’t seem to have a problem with any of it.

I thought Liz letting Max go was probably one of the most noble things I’ve ever seen anyone do. Max had no intention of following through on what was planned for him and Liz felt that the only way for him to do so was to remove herself from the picture. As we learn from season two’s “Skin and Bones” Liz left for Florida for the summer and barely spoke to Max before she went. Can you imagine the head and heartache Max went through for three months?

Looking again at season two’s “Skin and Bones”, we learn that Isabel has once again put up her walls to keep Alex out. In this episode, she leans back against him when he comes up behind her at the silver mine. At the UFO Center, Alex tells her he knows she must rescue Nasedo alone. He then hugs and kisses her and she responds in kind. It appears from this and her statements in “Four Square” about being ready for a relationship that she was ready. Why all of a sudden did she change her mind? The only excuse Isabel uses is the one she has always used. She can’t think of being with anyone because of everything. Boy, Madam Vivian hit the nail on the head in “End of the World” saying Alex’s relationship with Isabel would never work. Apparently, Isabel is too scared to commit. A failing she must have learned from Max. I wonder what happened between this episode and “Skin and Bones” to make Isabel change her mind.

Isabel’s heart probably leapt into her throat when the mom’o’gram played. This feeling is revisited in season’s two “Surprise.”

Even for the most hardened soldier, to take another’s life is not an easy task. In Ray Liota’s movie “No Escape”, his character Robbins is such a soldier. Setting out on a mission, a prisoner named Casey follows him and is angry when Robbins won’t let him come along. Robbins asks Casey if he has ever killed a man. Casey finally admits he hasn’t. Robbins tells him that he must kill without mercy, without hesitation. “Once you can do that, you can never go back,” Robbins says. “You’re lucky you can’t do it.”

This is what Michael feels after he kills Pierce. Michael wanted to kill Pierce. It’s one thing to want to kill someone. It’s quite another to actually do it. This wasn’t something that Max could help Michael with. It was totally beyond his experience. Michael still feels this pain in season two and I’m glad that creators didn’t just drop it.

Did you see the look of shock and realization on Maria’s face when Michael told her he couldn’t be with her because he loved her too much? Maria wasn’t prepared for that at all. And this powerful scene is how we leave Maria in season one.

In my review of “The White Room” I said that Tess wasn’t really drawing a line between the humans and the aliens calling them liabilities as they tried to rescue Max. In this episode, Tess is clearly doing just that. She makes a big fuss about Michael leaving Nasedo behind. I was waiting for Michael to say that he told them too. Nasedo did say that after all. Then while they are at the silver mine, she says they should all go to the pod chamber and leave the humans behind because Pierce doesn’t want them. More on that in a minute. She knows full well that Max and Liz care about each other and instead of respecting that, tells Isabel in “Four Square” that she feels drawn to Max. Then after the mom’o’gram ends, she immediately tries to kiss Max directly in front of Liz! I chuckled a little bit how Max put her in her place during this and went to Liz. The look on Tess’s face was clearly one of a woman scorned. Did she really think Max was going to kiss her back? It’s not gonna work that way Tess ‘ole girl.

Tess made a quiet zinger to Liz in this episode. Liz asks Tess if she can really make people see things that aren’t there. Tess says it’s easier to do that then “to make someone see things that are right in front of her eyes.” (Emphasis mine.) Liz then looks down as if to say “message received.”

I really did like how the creators kept us guessing about Valenti. Finally learning the truth from Max, he is elated and at the same time sad because his father had been right all this time and he never believed him. I also felt a shock when Valenti started shooting at Pierce in the UFO Center. I knew Kyle was hiding behind the displays and I think the Sheriff realized something was very wrong on his last shot. It’s a testament to Valenti’s character when after Max heals Kyle that he says he will be there for them. Now they have a very important ally.

We will see more of Kyle’s mistrust for Max and Company in season two. We get a small hint of it here where he threatens to kill Max if his father is in danger. Kyle being healed by him will also give him a few nightmares…literally. When we head into season three, there’s really no trace of Kyle’s aversion to the aliens and even seems to respect Max for saving his life.

One of the interesting things about the mom’o’gram is she says she has taken a human form so they can understand her. Apparently, on Antar, they have another form. If the remaining Royals ever do return home, I wonder how things will look to them. Maybe they will have to give up their physical bodies. I’ll bet those episodes are going to be expensive to visually produce.

In season two’s “Ask Not”, Brody says that on May 14th, his little beeper device went off. As this episode ends, we see these devices going off in several different places. So the date for this episode is May 14th, 2000. Looking at a calendar, that was a Sunday. Since the last episodes of season one were right after one another date wise, it will be easy to fit them into the timeline.

As the episode begins, we see a large sign on the fence that says “Eagle Rock Military Base. Medical Research Facility. Property of the U.S. Department of the Army.” The first thing wrong with this is that I have never seen a sign saying something is property of the “Department of the Army.” It’s always said “Property of U.S. Army.” I suppose that this is technically correct but I’ve always heard the Army was a branch of the U.S. military and not a department. Maybe someone out there can clarify that for me.

The sign also answers one of my suspicions I stated in my review of “The White Room.” I wondered why it was called a military base when it looked like a military hospital. The sign says it is a hospital.

The other odd thing about this sign is that Eagle Rock is supposed to be an ABANDONED military base. Maria said the government closed it down “years ago” in “The White Room.” Since Pierce is using this ABANDONED military base secretly, why would he want to leave a big sign up announcing the place to the world? Kind of like the sign hanging on the fence that said “Puhlman Ranch” in “Four Square” when the military supposedly took it over in 1947 because of the crash. Why would they leave the signs hanging on the fence in both cases? Michael said the government wiped Puhlman Ranch off the map. If they wiped it off the map, does it seem likely they would leave the signs up? (Of course, maybe the idiocy of the FBI began with the army!)

The sheriff says there is a silver mine “in Galitas off horseshoe road” (This comes from the transcript at crashdown.com because it’s hard to make out exactly what Valenti says on my tape.) I don’t know if the Sheriff is referring to a town called Galitas because if he is, he’s mistaken. There is no “Galitas” in New Mexico. The closest thing to it is the Gallinas River which is by Las Vegas, New Mexico north of Roswell at least a hundred miles away. I’m told there is also a small town in Lincoln county called Gallinas so it’s possible that is what the Sheriff is talking about. It’s close to the town of Coronas. “Horseshoe Road” must be local slang for a farm road because there is no such road on my map of New Mexico. For the past few episodes, the creators had been pretty good about real locations in the show. This blurb and one I’ll mention later killed it for them. However, they do make references to Hondo, which is a real city in New Mexico west of Roswell.

The first time I saw Isabel hand Max some clothes as they prepared to escape the base, I thought she must have been a Girl Scout to be so prepared. Apparently, she knew he needed them from seeing how he was dressed when she dreamwalked him in “The White Room.” Way to go sis!

I thought it was a real boneheaded move to drop Max into Maria’s car and then leave him by himself with Liz. The two of them all by themselves? Does that seem right? Max isn’t exactly in any condition to be left with just one person to help him. And why did they bring Maria’s car? The Jetta wasn’t exactly built for speed. Then again, neither is the jeep (or perhaps it’s just the way everyone drives it. You’ll remember that in past reviews, I’ve noted that no one seems to drive faster then 15 mph.) The Sheriff’s SUV would have been a better escape vehicle and it could hold all of them. Of course, if they did do this, Liz and Max wouldn’t have spent the night in the old bus and had their heart to heart and so on and so on.

Speaking of the cars, Max and Liz get into Maria’s Jetta. Alex, Isabel, Tess, Maria, and Michael get into the jeep. And the Sheriff? He gets into his truck all…by…himself. Now what’s wrong with that picture? The Sheriff makes a big showing about wanting the kids to trust him and when they do, he abandons them? Right.

Max and Liz abandon Maria’s car after the FBI shoot out the back window. I’ll bet Maria REALLY appreciated that. I wonder how she explained the broken window to her mom. “Typical teenage day mom. Kidnapping, conspiracy, Uzi’s.” I guess after all the stuff at the pod chamber at the end of the episode that someone went back and fetched the car.

As Max and Liz run down the road to the bridge’s edge, look at the agent behind them just trotting along. What is he doing? Hoping Max and Liz will tire from running and drop to the pavement so he can catch them and not break a sweat? Oh, and let’s not forget these agents have guns. Really big guns! No one bothers to fire a warning shot or even yell “Freeze!”? (They’re all morons I tell ya. Morons!)

Looking over the bridge’s edge, we see a shot of the water below. Max and Liz jump in and we hear a splash. Then immediately after, the agents look over the side and we see the water below. There is no disturbance in the water where Max and Liz jumped in just seconds before. I guess Max is using his “keep the water still” power. The creators just used the exact same piece of footage for the water each time. I guess they didn’t want the actors to catch a cold.

After the opening credits, we see Max and Liz running through a little stream. The odd thing is that the only part of them that is wet is their pants. That can’t be right unless the water under the bridge they just jumped off was only waist deep. If that was the case, then jumping off that bridge probably hurt. Maybe Max is using his “Always stay dry” power.

As Tess fumes about them having left Nasedo at the base, Michael says “We’re not leaving anyone behind anymore.” That’s a funny thing for Michael to say considering he had just left Nasedo behind.

Somebody is using a wind forcefield in the jeep. Nobody’s hair is moving! Of course, Michael might not be driving very fast. It’s not like anyone ever drives over 15 mph in the jeep. (I personally think this is why the jeep broke down twice in “Monsters.” Isabel was trying to drive fast and the jeep, not used to being taxed so hard, blew it’s radiator.) In Michael’s defense, we have no idea just how fast he really is going because we can’t see the background. It’s just straight black. As if it’s only a black backdrop. Hmmmm.

There is a shot in the opening credits where we see Max and Liz running from a vehicle’s lights in the darkness. There isn’t any episode where this comes from exactly but there is a scene in this episode where Max and Liz run from the FBI humvee. It’s not possible that the bit came from this episode because when it was added for “Morning After”, this episode had not been filmed yet. Perhaps it’s just a nice touch by the creators.

Trying to get everyone to go back to the pod chamber, Tess says that Pierce “doesn’t want the rest of you.” Does that mean Nasedo was lieing when he told Liz in “Max to the Max” that Pierce wanted to study her because he knew what Max did to her or did Tess not know that?

We couldn’t end the season without the FBI still acting like dumdum’s could we? They sure don’t disappoint here. There’s an FBI agent sitting as plan as day in a dark van outside the Café and he’s wearing the ever-visible black suit too. And if that wasn’t obvious enough, when Michael and Isabel walk past him, he gets out of the van and follows them with all the subtlety of fingernails on a chalkboard. We then see a second agent guarding Kyle. That’s it? Two agents? That wasn’t very smart of Pierce. When Max escaped, Pierce should have mobilized every agent he had and sent them in mass to Roswell and picked up everyone involved with Max. Of course, if he had, it would have been a short show and probably the end of the series.

s I said above, the last few episodes were back to back time wise. Did Max’s parents or for that matter, ANYONE’S parents not have any concern about where their children were all weekend? I suppose Liz, Alex, and Maria could have checked in as they waited at the Crashdown in “The White Room” but what about Isabel? Don’t you think Phillip and Diane Evans would want to know where their children were?

As Tess mindwarps the FBI agents, she shows them an image of Pierce. He is wearing a sling. How did Tess know that Pierce was wearing a sling? I realize that Valenti could have told them that he shot Pierce but she didn’t know he was wearing a sling on his arm. Not unless she climbed up the wall and looked into Valenti’s office window when we weren’t looking she wouldn’t.

Let’s take a look more closely at these two mindwarps. Tess mindwarps both agents at once. The agent sitting outside the Café is Agent Bellows. He is following Isabel and Michael and suddenly, Pierce is right in front of him. Bellows must be used to this kind of behavior from his superior because he takes it all in stride.

The agent guarding Kyle is Agent Samuels. When Tess mindwarps him, he hears Pierce talking to him from the back porch. A porch with a big wall and some giant cactuses growing on it. Where was Pierce supposed to be standing? Did Tess have him appear to be hiding behind a cactus?

I’ll say this about Max. If you torture the guy, don’t piss him off later. Max lays out Agent Samuels with one punch. Then again, maybe Max is using his “punch like Superman” power.

Pierce tells the Sheriff that he shot him six inches from his heart. Six inches is about as long as your index finger. That’s a pretty serious wound but all Pierce has is his arm in a sling and never shows any signs that he is feeling any pain. Pierce is either very lucky or a real tough guy.

Setting Pierce up, the Sheriff tells Pierce the gang is taking out his agents one by one. The Sheriff suggests Pierce get them on the radio. Pierce attempts to do so and no one answers. Now we know why Samuels isn’t answering. Max kicked his butt and shoved him into the closet. But why didn’t Agent Bellows respond? He got in his van and drove off. Did he drive out of radio range? That doesn’t seem like a very good design for FBI special issue equipment.

s anyone else wondering where the heck Milton has run off too? We haven’t seen him since “The Convention.”

Valenti speaks about a friend in the district attorney’s office. In a nice bit of continuity, we see that Valenti does indeed have a lawyer friend during the Hybrid Chronicles in season two.

Wanting to find where Nasedo was taken, the gang decides to have Isabel dreamwalk Pierce. Isabel says she has never dreamwalked anyone who wasn’t asleep. I immediately knew this was incorrect because she did it to Max three times in the last episode and Tess agreed with me saying the same thing. Isabel then tries to cover this by saying that Max was drugged and didn’t fight her when she tried to get into his mind. Given Nasedo’s statements that they can do anything the human mind is capable of, I don’t understand why Isabel wouldn’t think she could read a mind that was awake. It’s almost as if she is afraid to try. Tess then tells her that even if she can get in, even a little, she’ll get the answers she wants. And wa-la, she does.

In the reading, Isabel sees Pierce telling his men to take Nasedo’s body to a helicopter at “Jefford’s Airstrip outside Hobson.” There is neither a Hobson nor a Jefford’s Airstrip in New Mexico. And apparently, the agents knew that because when Max and Company go to get the shapeshifter, they’re out in the desert somewhere with no airstrip to be seen. Not that a “helo” needs an airstrip to land anyway.

As Kyle sneaks into the UFO Center, we see Pierce sitting in a chair struggling to free himself. Throughout the scene as Kyle unties him, someone keeps changing the slides in the projector. Who’s doing that? I thought Max was doing it as he acted like he had the control in his hand when he was repeating Pierce’s words to him. But Max isn’t in the scene. He’s off behind the displays talking to Valenti and Michael. Is he back there pushing the button or is the projector set on automatic?

Speaking of Max, Michael, and Valenti, before Pierce pulls a gun, it looks like they were leaving. They weren’t really going to leave him in the UFO Center by himself were they? Knowing Pierce the way I do, I would keep him under constant surveillance!

There are several things about Max’s healing of Kyle that really deserves some scrutiny. First of all, there’s a light shining on Max’s hand. There was no light shining on Max’s hand when he healed Liz in “Pilot.” There’s also a light that flashes through Kyle’s body specifically in his face. Liz didn’t do that either. But probably the most important thing is that not only does Max heal the wound, he also cleans the blood off of Kyle’s shirt! Boy, that would have come in handy when he healed Liz! If he had done that, maybe this entire series of events could have been avoided in the first place! Then again, maybe Max is using his “Dry clean as you heal” power.

Why didn’t Tess go along with the group to rescue Nasedo? After all her fussing and fuming about leaving Nasedo behind at Eagle Rock, she stayed behind with the humans? Oh, I doubt that.

In the Pod chamber, the gang uses four stones to heal Nasedo. What happened to the fifth stone? There were five in “Balance.” Was it an extra in case someone loses one?

Max decides to have Nasedo impersonate Pierce to destroy the FBI special unit from within. Nasedo agrees and shapeshifts into Pierce. I hope that he picks up an arm sling since the last time the agents that are waiting in Hondo saw Pierce, he was wearing a sling on his left arm.

I’ve mentioned this in the past but since it happens here, I’ll mention it again. Max is the one who is strongly against finding Nasedo because in his mind, Nasedo is a killer. However, Max seems to forget all about this aspect of the shapeshifter because he sends him out disguised as Pierce. Max doesn’t order Nasedo not to kill anyone until “Skin and Bones” which takes place more then three months after the events in this episode.

When the Orbs activate and play the mom’o’gram, the Pod chamber lights up and begin to blink on and off. Once the message ends, the lights shut off. Keep the image of the chamber alive in your mind because when we return to it in “Ask Not”, we’re going to see a vastly different pod chamber with all sorts of lights and a much larger area!

In case you were unaware, the actress who appears as the mom’o’gram is executive producer Jonathon Frakes’s wife.

The creators have always done a very good job with music selections. There has only been two occasions where I’ve frowned at the music in season one. The first was the constant use of the same song by the Counting Crows in “Toy House.” It really began to gnaw at me after about the third viewing. The other occasion where I question a music selection is in this episode. The use of Dido’s “Here With Me” makes an excellent theme song for the show but when the creators opt to use it when Liz runs from Max at the end of the show, it felt wrong to me. It was meant to be a nice touch and if the episode had ended with it, it would have indeed been something special. Instead, it doesn’t quite work. Why, you ask? Because after Liz leaves the scene, the music changes as we see the devices held by the Skins lighting up. The music change from the soft beat of Dido’s song to the beatless score is not seamless and really breaks the mood. We go from the sadness of seeing Liz run from her true love to the danger of the Four’s enemies. Were I selecting the music, I would have used one piece of music that starts out sad and slowly fades into the beeping of the small devices. I’m happy to report however that in season two, these two incidents do not repeat themselves.

This is rather tacky to mention given the mood of the final scene but as Liz runs away from Max, you can see her underwear along her waistline. That girl needs to wear a belt. Then again, maybe Max is using his “show me your unmentionables” power.

The man who says “It has begun” to end the episode is, according to my friend Tara Moe, Backstreet Boy “Sweet” Howie Dorough. Is this Nicolas’s little secret? Are his soldiers all members of boy bands? You know, I’m not as afraid of the Skins as I used to be. Who’s going to be afraid N’SYNC?

#201 Skin and Bones – Review

Written by Chad Evans (Nitpickius Roswellian)

“The Dark Times” have begun. In my humble opinion, this was a great way to start the season. Jason Katims really outdid himself with this episode. If I ever meet him, this episode will definitely be on my discussion list.

Just about everyone has undergone some changes over the summer. The first thing I noticed about the cast in general is their hair. Everyone’s hair either changes style, gets longer or shorter, or thicker. Maria especially. Her head has been quite busy (in the season three episode “So I Married An Alien”, we learn that her hair had a bit of help courtesy of Isabel’s powers.) Isabel’s looks about the same. Max’s hair seems a bit thinner. Michael loses the spike look. Liz’s hair is thicker then it was in season one (and the most improved of everyone if you ask me) and Tess has added some length and de-emphasized her curls somewhat. I’ll mention other things after the character reviews.

The opening recap with Max in a psychiatrist’s office was a good way to start things off. If Maria is right and he has been “ining-pay” all summer, he must be miserable indeed. (I love that line of pig Latin from “Into the Woods.” It’s so reusable.) I feel sorry for everyone he’s been around all of this time because he’s probably been sucking all the happiness out of life. But not only has Max been brooding for three months, it appears he and Michael have been arguing all summer over what the next step is. Unfortunately, there really isn’t much that could have been done, which Michael admits to Valenti. I guess these two just fight for lack of anything else to do. Katims said in an online chat that they fight because of “testosterone.” That will do it too.

When Max asks Maria about Liz, she tells him that Liz “blew him off” before leaving for Florida. Was Maria trying to hurt Max’s feelings here? Liz did not “blow him off.” She honorably, yet unwillingly, walked away from Max because he was refusing to accept his destiny i.e. be with his former wife, Tess. I don’t believe that Liz would have told Maria to tell Max that either. Liz isn’t that cruel.

It would have been nice to see some of the bonding that occurred between Max and Maria over the summer. I’ll bet that would have been an entertaining episode.

I’m not sure I understand Liz’s reaction here. It seems that Liz believes Max actually has feelings for Tess and is staying away to make it easier for him. Where did she get that from? Max told Tess no in “Destiny” after hearing the mom-o-gram and went straight to Liz. He told her at the beginning of that episode that he loved her. Max even tells her again in this episode that he doesn’t have any feelings for Tess. (That’s another scene I would have liked to see. Max telling Tess how he feels and where things stand between them.) Liz is clearly not comfortable with having to keep Max away. She’s not a hindrance to him. She’s the girl he loves! While walking away from Max was noble, her reactions to him in this episode don’t make a lot of sense in some places.

I also thought Liz’s line of “I’m not a dork. I just love science” was unnecessary. Max knows Liz is an aspiring scientist. That’s the one thing about the whole episode that is just not in character for Liz Parker and that’s odd on Katim’s part as he knows the character better then anyone. I think maybe it would have worked better if Liz said “Max, remember Mr. Seligmen talking about the new accelerator last year?” It’s just…odd. I also don’t remember Mr. Wanna-be Bill Nye, the science guy saying anything about a particle accelerator in season one so it must have happened when we weren’t looking (Don’tcha hate it when that happens?)

Along with her usual sedatives and vitamins, Maria must have started taking obnoxious pills. Even though I found her exchanges hilarious, some of them are a bit over the top. I’ve already mentioned her comment to Max about Liz blowing him off but how about her comment to Michael about ex-cons being great in bed? It was definitely an attention getting statement if that is what she was trying to do but man. She wasn’t really propositioning him was she? It’s strange that she can’t take her own advice. She is going through the same thing with Michael that Max is experiencing with Liz. Maybe her own sufferings have fried her neurons. I did like that once she realized the joking wasn’t going to work, she honestly told Michael that she missed him.

What the heck happened between Alex and Isabel? The last time we saw these two, they were a couple. Not a rock solid couple but Isabel appeared to have dropped her walls around Alex. Now, after watching one government broadcast, Isabel gets scared and tells Alex they can’t have a relationship. Gee, and I thought Max had commitment issues last season. His sister has now picked up the trait. This is very unfair to Alex who has been nothing but supportive to her. To make matters worse, in comes Grant Sorenson and Isabel starts making goo-goo eyes with him right in front of Alex. Apparently Isabel doesn’t mind having a guy in her life as long as the guy has no emotional attachments. That’s so unfair.

Speaking of this Sorenson guy, how old is he? Diane Evans asks the same question in “Surprise.” Apparently Isabel doesn’t mind having a guy in her life as long as the guy has no emotional attachments AND is much older then she is. Again, this is unfair. Isabel is only 17 in this episode. For someone of Grant’s age to be interested in Isabel worries me and it certainly isn’t legal. Isabel must only like older men. In season three, she marries a man eight years her senior. I do feel a bit sorry for Isabel because Grant is killed in “How the Other Half Lives” but that’s what happens when alien parasite crystal queens take over your body. Someone is certainly going to tell me that age isn’t an issue in love but when you have crystals growing in your chest, age is the last thing to worry about. Just to let you know, in this episode, the gandarium queen has not possessed Grant’s body yet.

When Nasedo plays the part, he really plays the part. So he’s been having “relations” with Congresswoman Whitaker. Let’s take ourselves a little looksey at this. Whitaker is a Skin. At the moment, all Skins are peeling and shedding. Nasedo sees a piece of the husk laying on the ground at the end of the episode and recognizes it for what it is. So during all of his “diddling”, he didn’t notice any loose skin? Michael finds some on Courtney in “End of the World” with one touch. I think Nasedo may have been too distracted by his session of hot alien sex to be fully aware of things. The other thing about this is even more important. In “Wipeout”, Courtney explains the “plug” that all Skins have in their lower back. If opened or hit too hard, the Skin dies as they cannot survive in our atmosphere. Do you think that if a hand went over that spot that the Skin would not react to that? In Whitaker’s diary that was posted on silverhandprint.com, she talks about realizing that Pierce in season two is a shapeshifter. She also doesn’t understand how Nasedo didn’t know she was a skin. Perhaps taking the form of an FBI agent inherited him the moron aspect of the FBI which is so prevalent in this show.

I guess it was just a matter of timing but after Max asks Nasedo about cadmium X, the shapeshifter says he must kill everyone with that information. Liz is the first person to express real objection to this course of action. When I first watched this scene, I was annoyed that Max didn’t immediately say no. Then I started thinking about all the killings that Nasedo did in season one and the ease that Max showed in letting him go to Washington. Max does this after spending several episodes telling Michael that the shapeshifter was a murderer. Max doesn’t like that Nasedo kills. You’d think that hearing that the shapeshifter wants to kill again would force Max to say something in protest immediately. Instead, Liz beats him to it. Once Liz expresses her disapproval, Max orders Nasedo not to kill. This is a prime example of how Max and Liz compliment each other’s characters. They think along the same lines but Liz appears to “be faster on the draw” then Max.

There is a nice touch that the actor playing Pierce does in this episode. As Nasedo / Pierce enters the Café, a tourist recognizes him and tries to get his autograph. Nasedo tells him to move and then raises his hand as if to kill him. He then stops himself and runs into the restroom. That was one lucky tourist.

When Max hesitates to take action, Nasedo gets lippy calling Max a pacifist. Max then turns and puts him in his place ordering him not to kill anyone. Nasedo pauses for a moment as if to argue and then submits to Max’s authority. (I wonder what Nasedo was thinking at that moment. “How dare you tell me what to do you snippety little prince. I’ll show you when we go home and our enemies shoot your ass while my Tessy raises your child.” Hey, it could happen.) In season three’s “Control”, we learn that the shapeshifters are required to obey any commands Max gives them as it is encoded in their DNA. This puts Nasedo’s backing down to Max into a whole new light. Too bad Max didn’t try ordering the guy around before now.

One last Nasedo moment. Nasedo asks Max how he and Tess are getting along. In “Departure” Tess will reveal that Nasedo made a deal with the man who usurped the throne from Max, Kivar. The deal was for Tess to return home with Max’s child which would give Kivar an even greater claim to the throne and the others would be executed. Presumably, she would be allowed to live (though I suspect Kivar would not be willing to take any chances and slay her after the birth.) This information puts Nasedo’s comments into a whole new light. He was checking out the progress of his deal! There is no other reason why Nasedo would even care about whether or not the two aliens were getting along. His job is to make sure they are safe until they can return home. I will explore this a lot more when I review “Departure.”

My favorite moment in this episode is the look on Sheriff Valenti’s face as Nasedo says he must kill everyone with information on cadmium X. It’s a look that says “What in the world have I gotten myself in to?” I also loved the frustration he went through as his “eager beaver” deputy kept doing his job to perfection. He couldn’t stop Hanson from doing his duty without raising suspicion and actually letting him do his job would raise even more suspicions.

I thought it was nice of Tess to spend time with Michael to help him develop his powers. I believe Tess offered to help him with them because Michael isn’t one to ask for help. He’s only asked for help twice before (it was in “Independence Day” and “Crazy” for you trivia lovers.) There is another reason for this. In season one, Tess attempted to get into the group by concentrating on it’s weakest link, Isabel. Once she got in, she moved to her next target, Michael. Michael is the only one in the group that wants to explore his alien side so by helping him with his powers, she hopes to gain his trust (as best as she can. Michael isn’t that trusting to start with.) Her next target is of course, Max. She’s good, isn’t she?

It’s obvious Michael doesn’t enjoy keeping Maria away from him anymore then she hates being away from him. With Courtney giving Michael the eye, the story between them is going to become a lot of fun as we watch them both move closer together again.

One of the great things I love about Michael in this episode is that Katims didn’t just drop the fact that Michael had killed Pierce in “Destiny.” It could have been very easy for the aftermath of this to be forgotten but he actually took the time to let Michael reflect on his actions. This could also be an explanation as to why Michael has been arguing with Max all summer. He’s trying to hide his feelings by taking his anger out on Max. He tells Valenti that he doesn’t know what to do next and that he’s been busting Max’s chops when he doesn’t know any more then he knows. When Isabel kills Whitaker in “Surprise”, the creators don’t do the same with her character which is unfortunate. Isabel is not as strong as Michael is and the repercussions would have been more devastating to her.

The awkward look Tess gives Max and he comes to Michael’s apartment is noteworthy. Despite everything that Tess is and will be, rejection is never easy for anyone to handle. She is silent during the entire exchange between Michael and Max refusing to take anyone’s side. But once Max needs her to get into the university to change Pierce’s bones, Tess is right there willing to help. Deep down, I think Tess wants to love Max and she’s willing to go slowly to see if she can make him love her back. As we will see, Tess’s definition of said emotion is a bit distorted.

We aren’t given any dates in this episode. The only thing we know is that the Monday after these events is when school begins. The day and night transitions suggest this episode covers a period of five days. The next episode “Ask Not” will take place immediately after this episode ends. Once I review that episode, I should be able to get a bit more information for a timeline. The only other real time mention is Max saying he hasn’t heard from Nasedo in three months.

At the start of the episode as Max sits in the psychiatrist’s office, the camera slowly zooms in tight on Max’s face. This is the first time I’ve noticed that Max has a pierced ear. When have we ever seen Max wearing an earring? I know actor Jason Behr does but I’m not dealing in reality here.

Can you name the episodes that all of the flashbacks appeared in as Max tells the doc his story? I can! They are:

The pod chamber scenes come from “Four Square.”
The scene of the kids walking in the desert and fading into their older versions is from “Balance.”
The shot of Michael behind the tree is from “Morning After.”
Isabel changing the ketchup to mustard (or from red to yellow) is from “Balance.”
Shots of Valenti and Max at the Crashdown festival and Liz being shot and healed are from “Pilot.”
The gang having a meeting at the quarry is seen in “Crazy.”
Tess walking towards the camera is when she first approached Isabel is also from “Crazy.”
Nasedo morphing out of the wall next to Tess is from “Max to the Max.”
Nasedo changing from the appearance of an agent into Ed Harding is from “The White Room.”
Liz and Max running away from the red humvee appeared in “Destiny.”
Pierce and the hooded doctors grabbing Max was in “The White Room.”
Nasedo morphing into Pierce came from “Destiny.”
The video of Tess putting the statue back together was at the end of “Tess, Lies, and Videotape.”
Michael killing Pierce happened in “Destiny.”
The Sheriff, Michael, and Max burning and burying Pierce’s body is new footage.

One of the major changes for season two are the title credits. They are completely redone and much better then season one’s title credits. It’s also one of the reasons why I chose to subtitle season two “The Dark Times.” There are a lot of dark colors in the images. I do however have one complaint about them. There is a brief shot of Max erecting his force field. This piece of footage comes from the episode “Ask Not” where he stops Isabel and Michael in the UFO Center as they prepare to confront Brody. Fans who were watching this episode for the first time more then likely saw this and sat up saying “What was that!?” I think it would have been a good idea for the creators to wait until after airing “Ask Not” to put that piece of footage in the opening credits. It would have been a nice surprise for us to suddenly see Max using this power in the actual episode instead of in the credits.

One of the other major changes was Emilie de Ravin’s name moving to the main credits. In her season one appearances, her name appeared in the opening credits as a co-star.

The episode begins with the gang watching a congressional subcommittee hearing exposing the FBI special unit. I do not believe this is something that would be airing on national television. It would be an incredible embarrassment to the government and our system of checks and balances. The main spokesmen says that the special unit spent an unauthorized $17 million dollars. That’s not something our elected officials would want to admit to the voters. People lose their jobs like that.

The special unit spent $17 million dollars? Is that all? The unit has probably been around since the late 1950’s or early 1960’s after the crash in 1947 and Nasedo escaping the white room. Surely this unit, which even the President is on a need-to-know basis with, has spent much, much more then $17 million dollars in it’s lifetime.

Just what is that blow up green alien doll doing on the podium next to Nasedo / Pierce? Was this evidence of some kind? Or did Nasedo bring it in saying that the special unit created the item and sold it for extra money to buy more cameras? Eek! Does that mean the entire town of Roswell is just a government money maker? Oh, the horror! (I’m just kidding.)

When the committee decides to disband the special unit, Congresswoman Whitaker opposes. The entire purpose of this committee is to expose and disband a unit of the FBI that is made specifically to hunt down and capture aliens. The public at large would not stand to have their tax dollars spent on such a project. By opposing the vote to disband, Whitaker would be putting her career in serious jeopardy! Since she is no doubt using her position to further the Skins search for the Royal Four (She is a skin you know) would this be a wise move? I wonder what Nicolas would have to say about that.

As season two contains many references to science in the area of physics, I decided to contact a few scientists to help me with the facts that I myself am not familiar with. I’m happy to give credit where credit is due to two people in particular. The first is to Bruce C. Hyman who is a research assistant for the Radiation Effects Facility, Cyclotron Institute at Texas A&M University. My second shout out goes to Robert Hull, the project manager for the Particle Astrophysics Lab (PAL) at New Mexico State University. Both men were kind enough to answer my questions and help as best they could. Mr. Hull gets extra credit because he has actually been to the city of Roswell and gave me some really interesting facts about the town and the state in general to pass along. He’s also a fan of the show and that’s quite a bonus! You both have my heartfelt gratitude. Several members of the message board also helped with a few items. Special mention goes out to “FBI Guy” who pointed me in the right direction. Thanks to everyone who contributed!

In case you are wondering, there really is an element on Earth called cadmium. It’s commonly found in batteries in the form of nickel-cadmium. It’s naturally occurring and is an impurity removed from the element zinc. It is also highly toxic. There is no such thing as “cadmium X” however (as if you didn’t know .) Robert Hull told me that there is a joke amongst his colleagues on what to say if anyone ever contacts the lab and asks about cadmium X. He says it’s amazing the amount of scientific theories in sci-fi shows and movies that the general populace believe are scientifically found. He joked that he gets asked a lot why we don’t have a functional matter / antimatter drive yet (the engine that enables starships on Star Trek to travel faster then light.)

In “The White Room”, Pierce reads off a short list of people killed by Nasedo to Max. The dates of the murders are 1962, 1967, and 1999. In my review, I asked if there were any murders between 1967 and 1999. I was sure that there had to be more murders then the ones Pierce mentioned. According to Whitaker in this episode, there was indeed. There was a murder in 1972. I’m willing to bet that there were many, many more murders by the despicable shapeshifter.

Maria orders everyone out of the back room so she can change but Max hesitates a moment wanting to ask about Liz. Maria calls Max “girlfriend.” Girlfriend? As in she’s a girl and Max is her friend or the generic meaning? Max isn’t anyone’s girlfriend. He’s a guy! Just one more of those statements you have to run through the “Maria filter” to understand.

If Maria doesn’t want anyone to “see the bod”, why doesn’t she step into the bathroom and change clothes? Certainly that’s safer then changing in the back room of the Café with it’s swinging door that could give anyone a pleasant view of “the bod.” She could even run upstairs to the Parker’s apartment or is that off limits? I wouldn’t think it would be for Maria.

While I was annoyed that Isabel had thrown up her walls around Alex, I loved how Alex reminded Isabel he was still there by forcibly introducing himself to Grant. This is the second time he’s had to do that around her. The first time was when Tess met Isabel in “Crazy.”

This next one is one of those unavoidable plot points. Watching the excavation, Michael hears something and runs after it. After he falls, he finds a shedded piece of skin shaped like a hand. When he picks it up, it turns to dust. Why does the skin wait to be picked up before it turns to dust? In “Harvest”, we learn that the husks have been genetically altered to look like human skin. In “Wipeout”, Michael tells Courtney that her new husk “feels real.” We humans shed our skin too. Dead skin cells come off of you every day. If you are sunburned, as the skin heals, the outer layers will peal off and eventually, they will fall to pieces as the moisture dries up but this takes several days to happen. There are other examples like the one seen here. There’s one in “Ask Not” and in “Wipeout.” The husks probably are similar to human skin in some respects. The unavoidable plot point is that if the shedded skins didn’t wait to turn to dust until they were picked up, Michael wouldn’t find it and Nasedo wouldn’t be alerted to the Skin’s presence.

There is one exception to this little “turn to dust” bit. When Maria picks up a piece of Courtney’s skin in “Harvest”, it doesn’t immediately turn to dust. Maria is able to hold it and drop it without it evaporating.

Seeing Liz for the first time in this episode, Max leaves Isabel’s side and runs to her. Isabel stands in place and rolls her eyes. Take note of the wall to the left of the screen and the wooden windows. The shot changes to a far shot of Max running down the sidewalk towards Liz. See the windows on the left? They are exactly the same as the ones Isabel was standing next to. It’s a safe bet that Max only jogged about ten feet or so. The funny thing is, and you have to look very carefully to see this, if you look behind Max, you’ll see that Isabel has disappeared! I seriously doubt she could run in that leather skirt and there isn’t time for her to have moved out of the camera’s view. Maybe she’s working on a new super speed power. (I love this stuff.)

Does anyone find it believable that a member of Congress would set up a field office in the city of Roswell? This isn’t a knock against the town but according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the population of Roswell in 1990 was only 44,654. In the year 2000, the population for Chavas County, which the town of Roswell is in, was 61,382. The population for the entire state in 2000 was 1,819,046. Compared to some of the larger cities in the state, Roswell holds barely 5 – 7% of the state’s total population. Perhaps this is like a small branch of a main office that is located in a larger city. Of course, the real reason Whitaker is there is to find the Royal Four but her choice of office locations would surely make her constituents scratch their heads.

Maria isn’t the only one with odd dialogue. Deputy Hanson says Michael “Came in peaceably.” Peaceably? I think that the rules of grammar would have him say “He came in peacefully.” But that’s ok. Just run him through the “Maria filter” and it’s A.O.K.

Max tells Michael that Nasedo told them not to call him unless it was an emergency. This must have happened shortly after the events in “Destiny” because in that episode, we saw Nasedo change into the form of Pierce and leave for Hondo where Tess had sent the other agents via a mindwarp. Perhaps shortly after he left the pod chamber, Nasedo phoned them to tell them not to call.

Where did Michael get Nasedo’s phone number? I seriously doubt Max would have given it to him. Was he listed in the yellow pages under “Mean ‘ole shapeshifters?”

This episode gives us the impression that Pierce kept in regular contact with Whitaker. She has their phone conversations on tape. It makes you wonder why Pierce didn’t report in to her that he had captured Max at the end of “Max to the Max.” There are several hours between that and the beginning of “The White Room.” You’d think that something that important would be reported immediately. But why is Whitaker recording her conversations with Pierce in the first place? Does she not trust him? We’ll see Whitaker recording conversations in “Surprise” as well but in that episode, it was a necessary plot point to alert Liz to her eavesdropping. In this episode, it’s odd behavior yet it is explained in Whitaker’s diary. She is monitoring Pierce because he isn’t very forthcoming with information as she would like.

The Sheriff tells Michael that he found him and two of his buddies being rowdy out by the old Clovis Highway as a cover story for the knife Hanson found. There is a town called Clovis in New Mexico. It’s northeast of Roswell on highway 70 right by the Texas border. It’s also home to Cannon Air Force Base. According to my maps, there is no “Clovis highway” in New Mexico. Unless it’s another local description like the one the Sheriff makes about “horseshoe road” in “Destiny.”

Nasedo / Pierce comes to the Café looking for the “little pod people.” Let’s see. Pierce was head of a special unit within the FBI that without authorization spent (read that, “stole”) $17 million dollars of the government’s money. Don’t you think he would have been arrested and thrown in jail? It’s possible Nasedo could have taken another form to escape and then reverted back to Agent Pierce upon returning to Roswell but that’s kind of risky. What if some tourist recognizes him? Oops! That happened, didn’t it?

Isabel must dress to make a fashion statement rather then dress for the weather. To visit Grant out at his dig site, Isabel wears her long leather skirt with leather top. She’s wearing that to go out into the desert? Wouldn’t that give her an extreme case of the vapors from the heat?

Trying to throw Whitaker off the trail, Valenti says that they don’t even know if the bones they found are human. DUUUH!!! What else COULD they be? Do those look like tuna fish bones to you?

Whitaker decides to take over the case involving the skeleton because she doesn’t want “a county sheriff” working on it. She says it is now a matter of federal interest. Now I might be mistaken but I don’t think a member of Congress can do that. They are not law enforcement officials. However, I do believe they have the power to call in the FBI and the FBI can take over a criminal investigation if they so choose. In his own county, the Sheriff has jurisdiction in almost any type of criminal investigation. I’m not sure Whitaker can just take him off the case like she does. I also wonder just what kind of interest the federal government would have in an old skeleton.

Just what justification does Whitaker have to place Michael under arrest? Does she have a motive? Does she have probable cause? What about physical evidence? Yes, she has does have the little pocket knife with Michael’s fingerprints but if you ask me, that is not enough to justify arresting him. Bringing him in for questioning, yes. Arresting him, no!

Max and Liz seem to have this unusual quirk about them when they are looking for something. In “Missing”, Max and Liz went to Valenti’s house to search Kyle’s room for Liz’s missing diary. They turn on one tiny lamp in Kyle’s room as they search. They do the exact same thing in this episode. While searching for some clue as to where Whitaker has taken the bones, the only light in the small office is the desk lamp. In “Missing”, I can understand why they didn’t want a lot of lights on. The Valenti household was supposed to be empty. But in this case, it makes no sense. Liz works in the office. Having the lights on wouldn’t seem out of place while she was there. Maybe they were trying to hide the fact that Max was in there too. Kind of weird how these two constantly work in the dark, don’t you think?

Max says that the residual effect of Michael using his powers on Pierce left an “isotope of cadmium” on them. I put a lot of thought and study into this statement and I can’t decide whether this is correct or not. I think it would be easier to say that when the aliens use their powers to kill someone, the element named “cadmium X” is left on the body and leave calling it an “isotope” out of it entirely.

Hot alien sex must happen very fast. It’s either that or the episode loses some time. The amount of time from the point that Nasedo / Pierce picks up Whitaker at her office until the time Nasedo grabs Max and pulls him into the alley is roughly four minutes. I do believe that Nasedo was going to distract Madam Congresswoman by “diddling” her again. Did he really only devote four minutes to that task? I know some women who would find that horrendously insulting and even less satisfying.

After Nasedo grabs Max, the young king tells him that the bones will be delivered to Las Cruces “tomorrow morning.” How does Max know that? Liz didn’t tell him that when she suggested that bones were being taken there. Did they search more when we weren’t looking and come across that information? For all Max knows, the bones could BE there already but of course, they haven’t been. I sense a little plot trickery.

Now we come to part of the episode that prompted me to contact Mr. Hull and Mr. Hyman. The particle accelerator! In order to make this simple, I won’t go into the science too deeply so you may put away your headache medicine.

Liz says that the particle accelerator is at the “Las Cruces University.” Mr. Hull tells me that the college where he works is not called the Las Cruces University and there is no college with that name. It’s actually the “New Mexico State University” that is located in the town of Las Cruces. I wonder why the name change.

The sign on the wall of the building that holds the accelerator says “Coleman BLDG, Particle Research Facility, U.S. Department of Energy.” According to Mr. Hull, there is no such building by that name at New Mexico State University or at the Los Alamos labs OR at the labs in San Dia. So where the heck did Max and company go??

Mr. Hull tells me that his astrophysics lab does not have a cyclotron nor does any other department on the New Mexico State campus. Hull’s group does not do work that requires such a device. They use helium balloons to do atmospheric measurements in the upper layers of the Earth’s atmosphere. Just in case you don’t know, the terms “cyclotron” and “particle accelerator” mean basically the same thing.

The guard outside the Coleman building (wherever that is) is not very good at his job. He’s supposed to keep people who don’t belong there away. So what does he do? He leaves his post to help a pretty girl find her way. But then, do you really blame him?

I’d have to say that the possibility of a cell phone working inside a building that houses a particle accelerator is just about zero. The shielding in the walls and the magnetic fields from the accelerator would interfere with the signal. Maybe Max is working on that “enhance the ability of a cell phone” power.

Now for the cyclotron itself seen in this episode. It’s a fairly large device that contains a long twisting corridor that Max can walk upright in. Bruce Hyman tells me that most newer particle accelerators built today are called “synchrotrons” and are huge in comparison to a cyclotron. For example, the cyclotron Mr. Hyman uses fits into a single building and the diameter of the inside is approximately 62 inches (1.6 meters.) A synchrotron on the other hand, can be large enough to cover several acres. From the outside, I don’t think what we see in this episode qualifies as a synchrotron. Also, accelerators of any type do not have a long curvy corridor running through them. The bottom line is that Max should not have been able to climb inside it unless he used his powers to shrink himself down to about ten inches high.

In order to accelerate charged particles, a very low vacuum must be created. This is necessary because charged particles won’t travel very far through the air. Before I continue, allow me to mention an idea a member of the message board brought up. Max is a hybrid and thus, may not react the same way to things as a normal human would. So let me tell you first what would happen to you and me inside an accelerator. First of all, there would be no air to breathe in the vacuum so you would quickly suffocate. Second, our bodies are normally equalized to atmospheric pressure. A person inside the accelerator would experience what Mr. Hyman described as “a great out-gassing.” In other words, your body would swell up like a balloon until you exploded! I don’t believe even putting yourself inside a pressure tank would save you. In “The White Room”, Pierce told Max that everything about him from his organs to his skeleton were completely human. His blood is the only thing that isn’t. It is possible Max is using his powers to keep from being smeared all over the inside of the accelerator because otherwise, he’d be toe jam.

And then, of course, there is the radiation. Mr. Hyman tells me that the highest concentration of radiation exists in the cyclotron itself. While the exposure might not be immediately lethal, it would probably be AT LEAST 1000 times the recommended allowable yearly dose. I don’t have an exact figure but it would be enough to deaden your skin and make you very, very ill. “FBI Guy” said that this would make it very unlikely he could get Tess pregnant. Any human exposed to such amounts of radiation would be sick every day for the rest of his or her life. This is called “radiation poisoning.” Again, it’s possible Max was using his powers to keep him safe. I doubt anything else could save the parts of him that are human. It IS possible to work inside an accelerator but you would have to be wearing a radiation suit and you certainly couldn’t be inside it while the thing was turned on! Remember the yellow stickers on your TV that tell you to unplug the set before servicing it? Those stickers are correct!

All three men said that there is a magnetic field inside the accelerator. Max’s disruption of the field as he stepped into it would instantly alert those monitoring the device of his presence. Tess’s mindwarp probably took care of this aspect of it. This magnetic field also presents another danger (as if the radiation and the lack of air and the high pressure aren’t enough.) When the scientists activate the particle flow (the pretty pink stuff that knocks Max on his butt), the electrons would be moving slightly under the speed of light (a little under 186,000 miles per second.) The flow would act like a magnet and if Max had any kind of metal on his person, such as a coin, a pocket knife, a tooth filling, even the buttons on his pants, they would be ripped off and put into a lethal trajectory. It would be like being shot. Again, it’s possible Max is using his powers to prevent this. I think the creators should have given us some indication that this was indeed what Max was doing because otherwise, our dear, sweet Max Evans would be a red stain on the inside of the accelerator.

One of the scientists on the show says that they carbon dated the skeleton. You can carbon date items inside a cyclotron. When adding to season two’s Powers List, I made sure to say that not only did Max remove the cadmium X from the bones, he also aged them forty-two years.

The scientists also say that the fused rib cage is probably from the nuclear testing done in the 1950’s. This is a reasonable theory because there were indeed nuclear tests done in Los Alamos from 1958 to 1961. They were hydronuclear tests to be exact. And yes, radiation can mutate organic structures in such a way.

I wonder why the scientists went to all the trouble of arranging Pierce’s bones into skeleton form just to run them through the cyclotron. Seems kind of tedious if you ask me.

I wonder if Maria closed the Crashdown early so they could have their traditional before-school party. She did it so she could make out with Michael in “Crazy.” Why not here too?

Maria may be apologizing because she didn’t realize Courtney was still in the back but if you ask me, she probably doesn’t need to. Courtney is a Skin. She was probably hiding in the back to listening to every word.

I think this episode finally establishes that no one, and I mean no one, has any intention of using the door’s on the Evan’s house. Even Nasedo goes to Max’s window. I say they should just remove the window and put a door there. Then again, that might keep people out of Max’s room since no one uses the doors.

All I have to say about this episode is “She-bang!” Good work. Coming up next, “Ask Not.”

#202 Ask Not! – Review

Written by Chad Evans (Nitpickius Roswellian)

Theeeeey’re heeeeeere. And paranoia runs rampant in Roswell.

This was Ronald D. Moore’s first script with the show and it was pretty good. It’s interesting that Moore decided to use JFK to help Max with his dilemma. Now I’m not totally familiar with the Cuban missile crisis. I only recall bits and pieces of it from history class but if I was writing this episode, I would have used Harry S. Truman and the decision to drop the bomb on Hiroshima. Perhaps Moore was trying to draw a parallel between Max and JFK. They both seemed to take their time making a decision. I think there have been other world leaders with similar decisions that could have been used and surely ones that could have kept Maria from making her snide comments. More on that in a little bit.

I know Max doesn’t think of himself as a rock solid leader but it’s weird that he struggles with it so much. In “Destiny”, when no one knew what to do, Max stepped up and took control. Everyone bowed to his direction including Michael. Here, Max is struggling to come to a decision about Brody. I surmised that the reason for his delays were because Max may have to kill the guy. Instead of going to a trusted teacher for “anonymous” advice, he goes to Maria. Maria? Maria has never been portrayed as someone you would go to for advice. But here, Maria is spouting advice that would make Counselor Troi from Star Trek proud. There are some things about Maria that have really changed over the course of the summer. The nice thing about Maria here is she is absolutely confident that Michael wants her even though he is trying to avoid her. What’s even funnier is that she is exactly right! Michael couldn’t help but look at her during the dancing at the party though he was trying not to. Give it up Spaceboy.

In her musings, Joan Pickering said she thought Maria hitting Max with the book was over the top. I didn’t think so. Maria has always seemed the type to do stuff like that. She can always find a humorous comment in a serious moment. I think this is why she and Liz are such good friends. Liz is always so down to earth and planning things out while Maria just takes things as they come. Maria may seem like she is being mean to Max when offering him advice but you have to keep in mind that Maria is not exactly being objective. Max is or was dating her best friend. She has Liz’s best interests at heart because she knows Liz loves Max. So when Liz gets her feelings hurt by seeing Max walking with Tess, Maria is not going to let Max, who is also her friend, get away with it without a few zingers. Maria wants both of her friends to be happy which is why she spends a lot of this episode trying to patch things up between them. Who hates “ingpay” more then Maria De Luca? Of course, she should take some of her own advice. She’s still pining for Michael! I do feel the need to say that once season three begins, the playful supportive side of Maria disappears and she becomes a brooding, confused person. I miss the season two Maria.

Now that Max knows he is the leader, I think he rather enjoys telling Michael “That’s an order.” Now he thinks he has more reason then ever to be in control of Michael. Of course, Michael isn’t one to just let someone order him to do something and simply obey. The only time Michael has sat back and followed Max unquestionably is during “Destiny” when NO ONE knew what to do. Michael may seem like he is frustrated with Max but he’s really not. The thing he hates is that Max doesn’t make his decisions fast enough. I’m willing to bet that if Max would give Michael something to do, he wouldn’t be so difficult. Michael is coming into his own though. When Max came to the Crashdown to tell them of Nasedo’s death, Max is in no condition to make any decisions so Michael steps in to take charge. That is perfect behavior for someone who is second in command. There is one more important thing about Michael to mention. While Michael may grouse Max about not leading, when Max does make a decision, Michael follows it. Coming into the UFO Center, Michael is dead set on killing Brody. Max stops him and Isabel to handle the situation himself. All Michael does is ask what will happen if Brody kills him. He holds back and lets Max handle it alone.

I do believe this is the first time Isabel has expressed her own position so concrete. Isabel is tired of living in fear of her life and their enemies and says “enough is enough” and takes Michael’s side about Brody. Before this, Isabel refused to really take a side but once Michael was injured, Isabel didn’t hold back. I think perhaps Michael being hurt reminded her too much of the fear she felt when Max was held in the white room and she refused to ever let that happen again. To her, Brody raised more questions then he gave answers. I don’t think this was out of character for her. She still continues to be the “referee” for Max and Michael here as well.

Did you notice that Isabel paid almost little or no mind to Alex in this episode? Alex definitely had his eyes on her as she danced. Alex’s look was one that said “Why Isabel, why?”

Admittedly, not everyone was happy about Tess showing up but I think this is the first episode where people might have started to think differently about her. The exchanges between her and Kyle were hilarious and really sort of played off how the two acted in the library during “Four Square.” Tess was teasing him in that episode and she was teasing him in this one too. I believed her reactions of fear about being alone now that Nasedo was dead. She always thought that the deal Nasedo made with Kivar would be carried out with him. Now, if she is going to do anything, she is going to be doing it alone.

There is a nice little touch that Jason Behr added to the scene with her as the two characters walked to Tess’s house. Tess tells Max about their past; a past where he loved her. She then reaches up to touch his cheek and if you listen to Max’s breathing, he gets a little excited as if remembering the feelings her touch was associated with. After a second or two of this, Max takes her hand away and says he doesn’t remember that life.

At this point, I don’t think Tess has really made a decision on what she will do as far as Nasedo’s deal goes. She isn’t really pursuing Max in this episode. In just about every instance, Max goes to her. She does reaffirm her belief that Max should be the only one in command. When Michael tries to take control of the situation in the Café, Tess objects saying he is not in charge. Max was clearly not in charge though nor was he capable of doing so either. If the situation had not been what it was, I’m sure Michael would have given this little remark more scrutiny.

Other then how Isabel ignores him, there is little else for Alex in this episode.

Liz, for lack of a better way to say it, is just depressed. She does seem to be enjoying her new job however. Liz enjoys organization. She’s not to the extreme that Max is with it but this makes her feel important and allows her to focus on something else besides her grief. Yes, she is still in love with Max but the fact that Tess is in his presence almost every time she sees him won’t let her forget what happened between them. Even though Whitaker had an alterior motive for getting her to talk about Max and Tess, it was good therapy for her to finally say that she hated the blonde vixen. There is another example of this in the episode. Maria is trying to get Liz to dance. Liz doesn’t want to and Tess comes over to sit by her. Both she and Maria look at each other and Liz, eager to get away from Tess, relents and begins to dance. There’s another little tidbit on this segment. Maria seems like she is giving Liz a hard time about Max. Maria had seen them outside at the end of “Skin and Bones” and made Liz smile asking her about having a flash. I don’t think Maria was giving Liz a hard time here. She was trying to make her friend smile. It was a party after all!

One more Tess / Liz moment. After Max tells them Nasedo is dead, Liz notices the scrape on Max’s cheek. She tries to comfort him which is all she can do. Tess goes one step further and reaches up and heals him. Liz looks on in shock because Tess can do something for Max that she cannot do. Yet!

I will discuss Whitaker and the things she has done in this episode in my review of “Surprise.”

I was already aware that Courtney was a Skin long before I saw this episode but I liked the cliffhanger the creators left us with to end the episode. Moore did a nice little hidden thing with the script too. Courtney asks Michael how he feels about “piercings’ (get it? Pierce? As in Agent Pierce.) Michael says he is not into pain. Pain was what Pierce all about to Max in “The White Room.” Of course, it’s also a sexual barb on Courtney’s part. One that Maria was none too happy about.

I wonder if the Sheriff thought he had picked up the wrong kid when Kyle started spouting his Buddha talk. As Tess said, where did Kyle pick up Buddha? Did he go into a local bookstore and see a pretty book cover? You know, if Kyle were really serious about this, he’d shave his head, give away all his earthly possessions, and start wearing orange and yellow robes. I doubt that even in Roswell anyone would notice. Yeah, right. On a nicer note, it was kind of Kyle to give up his room for Tess. These two are going to provide some really humorous moments in season two. I also add that at this point in the series, Kyle definitely doesn’t appear to see Tess as his sister. When “End of the World” rolls around, the word “sister” is not anywhere near the word I would use to describe the two.

As I said, the episode appears to last five days. It begins I’d say not more then an hour or so after the events of “Skin and Bones.” After the scene in the pod chamber, the action starts on Monday morning and ends on Friday night. I’m afraid I must wait until I get the date Liz uses in her journal entry in “Heart of Mine” before I can add it to the timeline (I add to it one episode at a time.)

Isabel is using her powers to make the CD’s play music. The last time she did this was in “Pilot” and in that episode, she held the CD in her hand. Here, she has them sitting out on the table and can walk away from them and they will still play. There are a few other things to mention about these CDs. As I said in “Pilot”, unless the energy Isabel is using on the CD’s is spinning, the only music they will be hearing is the music on the sector of the CD the energy is passing through. CDs play music as they spin similar to the way phonographic records spin under the needle placed on them. The CDs use a laser instead of a needle.

Isabel also makes the CDs sound scratchy like DJs do with blank phonographic records. It’s not possible to make this sound with a CD. Unless of course, you have alien powers and can make it possible.

It’s awfully risky of Isabel to be using her powers like this. Was she doing that when Courtney was still in the back during the last episode? I couldn’t tell. In this episode, Max bursts into the Café and the door is unlocked. Someone could have walked in and seen the glowing CDs on the table. However, with some blocking, Isabel could get away with this as the CD player is sitting on the same table. Using Isabel’s powers on the CDs must make them sound better then the CD player would which is probably why she is doing this. In “Monsters”, Isabel used her powers to make Maria’s car stereo sound much better then it originally had sounded.

Ok, picture this: you’ve got a young male teenager with no shirt running down the streets and across the road. His hands are covered in blood and he has a bloody handprint on his chest. Does that strike anyone else as very suspicious? I know I’d be calling 9-1-1.

Nasedo must have incredibly thick blood. Max works up a good sweat running down the streets yet the handprint remains on his chest. It doesn’t drip. There’s a saying that goes “Blood is thicker then water.” Maybe in Nasedo’s case, it’s even more so.

It’s very difficult to tell whether or not a stunt double was used for Jason Behr during the scene where he crashed into the table. The creators were careful to use angles which hid the actor’s face. My instincts tell me that for insurance reasons, Behr didn’t do this himself. Whoever this guy is, he looks a lot like the young king.

The pod chamber is completely different from when it was last seen “Destiny.” It’s now a large room with a strong light source from behind the pods themselves. There are also more lights on the walls and it has a raised plate for them to lay Nasedo’s body on. None of these things beside the pods were seen in season one. It’s possible they were there all along but we just couldn’t see them in the darkness. Max must have found the light switch.

The gang have to go back to Max’s room to get Nasedo’s body. This makes Isabel upset. I don’t know what’s she’s harping at. Max should be just as upset that she’s using her powers to play CD’s in an unlocked Café! But anyway, Max isn’t wearing a shirt for the first part of this episode. When they get to the pod chamber, he has a black shirt on. Since they had to go back for Nasedo’s body, it is possible he grabbed one at that time.

There is also a very nice bit of consistency here. A close up of Max’s hand holding the healing stone reveals that they are still stained with Nasedo’s blood. If you watch carefully, his hands stay stained even when he was running down the street. It was very easy to make a mistake during all of this but the creators did a nice job staying consistent. Excellent. The only thing I have to say about it is that Max lands flat on his hands as he stumbles into the Crashdown yet when we see his hands in the pod chamber, his palms are still covered in blood. Maybe you have to use soap with rocks in it to remove alien bloodstains.

Does the Crashdown have a strobe light on the ceiling? From the way the light pattern moves across the walls, it appears there is one just in front of the door. Did someone bring one or has it always been there? It’s possible someone is using their powers to make this happen. Max did in “Blind Date.” In all fairness though, the camera’s view never really shows us the top of the Café.

Use of the healing stones is not considered a power as far as I am concerned. If I added this to the Power’s List, I’d have to add Maria and Alex as well since they both were part of the healing of Michael in “Balance.” And River Dog said he used one to heal Nasedo after he became sick from the fumes in the sweat tent.

Nasedo’s race must make burial easy as their bodies turn to dust when they die. It’s a good thing it didn’t happen while it was laying in Max’s room. I’d hate to be the one to have to clean up that mess. Then again, with the way Diane Evans maintains her house…(see my comments in “Four Square.”)

I’m not sure about this but I believe that the janitor’s closet, which was last seen in “Four Square” gets a door label. As Max moves to open it, you can see “Storage closet” on the front. The two names are interchangeable but the creators referred to this room as “the janitor’s closet” all the time in season one.

So Milton sold the UFO Center, huh? Are you kidding me? Brody must have offered him a good chunk of his $300 million dollars because I can’t believe Milton would actually sell his life’s work. The cast seems to have a trouble believing it too. I guess the creators felt it would be easier to just introduce a new character then to recast Milton. In a way, I’m glad they did because I like Desmond Askew. His accent is just so cool. When I first saw him, I wondered why Milton had sold his Center to Yahoo Serious.

While I can begrungedly accept Milton being bought out, just where did he go? The show never says.

During the scene as Kyle waits for the Sheriff to come pick him up, look at the sign behind Kyle. It has a list of cities and times. The city Albuquerque is spelled “Alburquerque.” There is an extra “R” in the name. Oopsie. This is a little hidden spot by the creators. Nick Wechsler, who plays the part of Kyle, is from Albuquerque, New Mexico. Thanks to Gooniegirl for pointing this one out.

I’m not really sure what this next one is. As Max comes upon Tess sitting on the park bench, Tess is looking up at the stars. While Max watches, she contorts her face as if she had just sat in some gum. When the shot changes and Max sits beside her, she resumes her normal appearance.

On the front porch of Ed Harding’s house, Max hears something break and opens the front door to go inside. The door was unlocked!? Are you kidding me? I seriously doubt Nasedo was the type to leave his front door unlocked.

The fact that they went back to the Harding house raises a very big question: how will they explain the disappearance of Ed Harding? He’s supposed to be Tess’s father and I assume he owns the house. If a Skin had not broken into the house, were they simply going to let Tess live there by herself? What would she do when people came looking for her dad? Just take a message?

The Skins must be very desperate indeed to find the granolith because they keep “leaving bits and pieces of themselves all over England.” By that I mean they are dropping pieces of their husks left and right. Whoever broke into Tess’s house left a piece on the bushes in the backyard. Of course, if this didn’t happen, Max wouldn’t be tipped off to their enemy’s presence and may have written off the intrusion as a simple burglary and left Tess at the house instead of entrusting her safety with the Sheriff. Depending on what kind of Tess fan you are, that may or may not have been a bad idea.

Was Max going to knock on the Sheriff’s door or was he going to stand on the front porch all night?

I absolutely loved the look on Emilie de Ravin’s face as the Sheriff pulled open the door with his gun in hand. She really does have some of the best facial expressions.

Think back to when you were in school and your first day of classes each year. The majority of your teachers made you sit in an assigned seat if just to help them learn your name if nothing else. Apparently, the teacher Max learns about JFK from doesn’t have his students in assigned seats. During the first scene in Max’s class, we see that there is a girl with blonde hair sitting directly behind Max. Directly behind her is a guy with dark hair. Catty corner to Max in the aisle next to the window is a dark haired girl in a very short skirt. Directly behind her is another dark haired girl who has her hair in braids. She is the last person in that row. Behind her, is the back wall. During the second classroom scene where the teacher talks about day four of the crisis, new people show up. In the seat where the dark haired girl in the very short skirt was sitting is now a dark haired guy in a purple shirt. Behind him is a blonde haired girl and behind her is another blonde girl and they don’t look like the same ones seen in the previous classroom scene. Behind Max, there is now a girl with dark, short hair. There is no longer someone two seats back from Max as that desk is either empty or gone altogether. I thought this game of musical chairs was weird because for the most part, humans are habit forming in a classroom choosing to stay in the same seat whether they are assigned or not. Everything really is different in Roswell High.

In “Blind Date” Max gets drunk after just one sip of alcohol. In this episode, Whitaker, who is a Skin, can down almost an entire bottle of what looks like bourbon and be A.O.K. It probably has to do with Max’s hybrid body, which I got into in that episode’s review.

In Whitaker’s diary at silverhandprint.com, Whitaker says that the Skins first years on Earth had them drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes. There no indication that Whitaker smokes at all but as we will see in “Surprise”, Courtney does. Kind of sends a mixed message that the kids smoke but the adults don’t. Maybe Whitaker decided that smoking just wasn’t for her.

Great line this episode: “Tess? What is that? I hate her already.” – Whitaker in her “drunken” stupor to Liz. Poor Tess. She just can’t get a break from anyone, can she?

Kyle comes into his room and sees Tess laying around in his jersey. He then begins to complain about that and the fact that she is in his room (why he is doing that is so beyond me. I sure as heck wouldn’t mind even if it meant being slagged by her deathray eyes. I’m immune to being slagged!) Tess then acts like she is going to take the jersey off and when Kyle objects (What is this guy’s problem?) she tells him he is uptight about nudity for a guy who reads “Jugs.” From this, I surmise that Tess is supposed to be naked except for the jersey. However, as Tess gets up from the bed, you can see the black shorts she is wearing under the shirt. Maybe she means she isn’t wearing anything on her upper body.

During my first viewing of this episode, when I saw the device Brody had go off as Michael drew near, I, like Alex at the end of the episode, wondered why it didn’t go off when Max was near it in the computer room. According to “Off the Menu”, Brody had to twist the device and turn it on before it would send out the pulse. Brody must have turned it on prior to walking into Michael’s view and once Michael got too close, the device sensed him and sent out it’s pulse. Brody probably doesn’t want to run down the battery and keeps it turned off most of the time.

Michael is softening up. In “285 South”, Michael broke into the UFO Center coming down the vents from the roof. In this episode, he walks in through the back door.

I’m surprised Max didn’t immediately recognize that the symbols on the outside of Brody’s device were in the exact same script as the text in the destiny book. A few of them are taken directly from it’s pages. This from a guy who memorized the cave drawings seen in “River Dog” and put them down on paper as we saw in “Four Square.”

After Maria tells Max that she saw him and the tramp…excuse me…Tess together the previous night, Max coughs up the lame answer of “It’s a long story.” Oh bull! He can do better then that. How hard would it be to say he was walking her home because she was distraught over the death of the being that had raised her? And I thought Liz was a bad liar.

As I said in my review of “Skin and Bones”, the footage of Max putting up his green force field in the opening credits come from this episode. However, the creators edited what actually appeared in the episode itself. In the credits, as Max creates the field, he looks down at his hand as if he is amazed at what he has done. In the actual episode, Max puts up his hand and creates the force field and the shot changes to a view of Isabel and Michael from behind him. This edit makes it look like Max is intent on stopping his fellow Royals instead of appearing surprised at his new power. I approve.

Brody tells Max that his abduction was seven years ago on the Massachusetts Turnpike. He was driving along and then abducted and taken to a room where they did…whatever. Two days later, he was in West Virginia and cancer free. All well and good until you look at the beginning of “Off the Menu” where Brody is shown viewing his first abduction on a virtual reality program. In that episode, Brody says he was in his living room when he was first abducted.

I know they didn’t have time but I think it would have been interesting to hear what abduction story Max gave Brody.

As Liz walks into the Café, we get a shot of Tess using her straw in her drink. Either Tess is not sucking on the straw or she is using her powers to keep the glass full. The level of liquid in the glass doesn’t change throughout the shot. Maybe she’s just making a show for Liz.

The Skins must make females everywhere mad with jealousy. When Courtney tears off the dead skin from her face, it leaves the makeup she is wearing behind. When we see the removed face, it’s pale and clean. Now I know for a fact that Courtney is wearing lipstick and eyeshadow in this scene. She would have put it on over the layer of skin she had just peeled off but that doesn’t appear to be the case. So in other words, the husks come makeup equipped. I guess Courtney wasn’t kidding when she told Maria that she had been a babe for fifty years in “Harvest.” Never having to apply your makeup is a nice perk. However, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t say that Courtney’s husk inside it’s maturation chamber in “Harvest” looked pretty sans makeup to me. I think the creators are playing with our minds again.

#301 Busted! – Review

Written by Chad Evans (Nitpickius Roswellian)

(Just to let you all know, season three is a work in progress as far as the nitpicking goes. I’m working on season two at the same time and all of the reviews will be updated as I write them. Especially if another episode explains or expounds upon nits seen in other ones.)

What the heck??

That’s really all I had to say about the beginning of the third season. “Busted” marks the first show on the UPN network. It was a chance to start fresh and many fans held high hopes that a return to the show’s roots was going to take place.

If you ask me, it failed almost from the get go.

Of all the characters, only Michael and Maria seem unchanged from last season. Let’s look at everyone individually.

What the hell happened to Max? Instead of appearing as his old compassionate, concerned, leadership burdened self, the Max we see in this episode is an absolute, total, jerk! I’ve always been a bit frustrated with Max with how he can never seem to make up his mind about things (telling Liz he can’t be with her then “inning-pay” for her throughout season two) or how he learns something and then decides not to tell the others (the main reason he and Michael are always at odds) and how he tries to boss everyone around. But none of that is evident. It’s almost as if Tess permanently warped his brain when she slept with him. I never thought I’d see Max do the things he does in this episode.

When Liz brought Max the article on the diamond, he says that he would never be able to live with himself if something happened to her. Oh. Is that why Max moved out of the Evans’s home after all of this? You jerk Max.

This entire situation doesn’t give me a lot of confidence in Max’s leadership abilities. This “King of Antar” thinks that the best way to find his ship and return home is to commit armed robbery and bring in the person he cares the most about in his life into it with him? I don’t buy it. Up until now for Max, it’s been to proceed carefully, weigh the options, formulate a plan, and then act. At the same time, stay hidden and don’t draw attention to yourself because attention is what gets you put into the white room. While Max does put together a plan, he acts on it almost without thinking about the consequences. That is certainly not the Max I’ve known for two seasons.

Even when trying to get back together with Liz, Max is a jerk. When Liz brings up Tess and the fact that Max slept with her, Max tries to joke about it saying “So you’re still holding onto that?” Excuse me Maxwell? That’s not exactly something you can just forget about. Especially since Tess became pregnant! I don’t know what the most appropriate word for Max is here but “jerk” works just fine with me. But I’m not done yet! Max makes it worse for himself by saying that mating with Tess was just “Something I had to find out about and now I’m over it.” Oh yeah. That’s the best way to convince someone to get back together with you. Admit that you slept with someone just for the experience and then forget about it. By the way, referring to it as “mating” makes Max sound like he was filming some kind of National Geographic special on procreation.

In that scene, Max is the epitome of all the anti-male comments I’ve heard girls make. I honestly do not understand what Katims was trying to accomplish with the dialogue in this scene. Did he want us to hate Max? It sure worked if this was his goal.

Was there no other way to find the ship? Was this the best that he could think of? If I’m an Antarian, I’d stick with Khivar as ruler. Just off the top of my head, I came up with a few alternate plans. Put the whammy on the clerk before going inside. Max could use his powers to fling the guy into the wall so hard that he falls unconscious then he and Liz could have their run of the store. How about this one? Max knows that there is something behind the wall and possibly the staircase. Why not go behind the store and use your powers to move the dirt and enter the storage facility through the roof? That way, you never have to go INSIDE. Max could even make sure that it’s done quietly so the clerk is not even disturbed and then hide all evidence of him being there before leaving. Better yet, hire Jessie from “Mutant X” to phase through the wall and find out what’s in there. The point is there has to be another way to check the place out rather then robbing it. But let’s pretend for a moment that this was the ONLY way. Couldn’t Max have done just a little bit more to insure Liz’s safety? Why not use his powers to change her hair color? Isabel can do that one and I think Max can too. He was going to turn Mr. Shallow’s hair blonde in “Blind Date.” Perhaps change Liz’s voice. If you can’t live with yourself if something happens to her, you take great pains to make damn sure nothing DOES happen. The final part is that you make sure no one else is around. Joey was sitting in his car watching them and he wasn’t exactly hidden either.

I also have a big problem with Liz and the gun. Watching the scene at the car where she played with the sights disturbed me. Was this not the same girl who was shot in the first episode of the show? I think Liz should have been very leery of the gun whether it was loaded or not. The fact that she was playing with it just didn’t seem right at all.

My, my, my. Liz recovered quickly, didn’t she? I don’t have a lot of information to determine how much time has past since the events in “Departure”, but when I last saw these two, they weren’t quite on the best of terms. Max had broken her heart and she found herself making out with Maria’s cousin Sean to get over the pain. The look on her face as Max hugged her after the Granolith took off with Tess wasn’t a very loving look. Max has a lot to answer for because of what he has done to Liz. Stuff that isn’t so easily forgiven I might add. Yet Liz is smiling as she reminds him of all these things during their talk on the dock. Yes, Liz does want Max back into her life. She does love him but were they really able to reconcile these things in just one conversation? That seems very rushed. I think it would have made for a very powerful episode had they opened the season with the two discussing these very things rather then what we were given here.

There is one part about Liz’s character that comes out in this episode that I really must mention. Liz comes upon Max as he is going through Tess’s belongings. He is exploring his alien side again. Liz is disappointed by this because she was hoping it could be normal between them now. Seeing that this will never be the case, she simply accepts it and helps Max in his quest. Liz really does have some admirable qualities and it’s just one of the ways she tells Max that she loves him. As if being thrown in the slammer twice in her lifetime isn’t enough (the first was in “Heatwave” in case you forgot.)

There isn’t much to say about Maria here other then she is very upset at Max for what he has gotten her best friend into. Any anger she feels is certainly justified. Once again though, she gets a new hairstyle for the season. I like this one. It’s not as long as the one she had in season two but it does suit her.

There isn’t really much to say about Michael either. He had finally found a home on Earth with Maria at the end of the last season so the fact that he took very lightly the news about the ship didn’t seem that much of a big deal to me. I couldn’t help but laugh that the creators made a big deal in this episode of pointing that he was in danger of not graduating though. When was the last time that school figured into the equation? About mid-season two, it appeared that the fact that the kids even went to school was more of an annoyance to the writers then important. Another thing I noticed about Michael was that he resisted the urge to use his powers on “the man” (he’s not named just yet but it’s Joey.) The last time someone pointed a gun at Michael, he tried to zap him (see “Off the Menu.”)

Since I’m not sure about the date in this episode, I’m not exactly sure how I feel about Isabel sucking face with Jessie. Alex, the one she decided was the man for her, has just died and here she is with this new guy. Some people get over their grief quickly. For others, it takes a bit of time. Just something about seeing Isabel with this guy didn’t settle very well with me at first. I decided at the time that I would give Jessie a chance. I’ve read that some dislike the fact that Jessie is at least eight years older then Isabel. Some girls prefer that. Others do not. I do have to wonder why Jessie is dating someone that young especially when it’s his boss’s daughter that he is doing barely legal things with.

We saw a lot of Amy Deluca in season two but she mysteriously disappears this season. There’s no mention whatsoever of where she has gone to. Maria briefly brings her up in “Graduation.” Perhaps she was abducted.

There’s nothing like opening the season with a nit! There is a city called Salina in Utah. It’s 562 miles (904 kilometers or 488 nautical miles) away from Roswell. A good five to six hour drive at that (you can now understand why Maria is so upset at having to drive there.) It’s a small town that has a population of less then four thousand. However, that’s where the accuracy ends. Joey phones in the convenience store’s location to the police saying it is on highway 65. There is no highway 65 anywhere near Salina, Utah. There are highways 256, 89, and 50 as well as state highway 24 and Interstate 70 but not a 65. Whether or not there is a Sam’s Quick Stop in the city is debatable.

But to be fair, the creators do name the hotel everyone stays in as the “Sevier County Motor Inn.” Salina, Utah is indeed in Sevier county.

This episode does something a bit different. The “previously on Roswell” segment is after the opener. Upon first seeing it, it was very strange and made me think it was some sort of editing error.

I don’t think I can entirely accept that Max used his power to make lights appear on the dock and in the trees. It is more likely that he strung the lights through the branches and on the dock and then turned them on using his powers. To do otherwise is going a little over the top especially since he and Liz were out there for a while and risked being seen all illuminated.

As they talk, Liz says she has broken twelve of her mother’s rules about Max. This implies that Liz talks to her mom. Since when? The last two times I saw Liz and her mom talk was in “Leaving Normal” and in “Heatwave.” Neither time did the two appear to have a close relationship. This must have happened between now and “Departure” when we weren’t looking.

Max misses the point of “skinny dipping.” It involves you swimming without a swimsuit and that means no boxers and no socks. And who swims in their socks anyway? Max is so weird. Of course the real reason is that the show is rated PG but I don’t deal in reality.

I want to know who’s sending all these visions to Max. In “Four Aliens and a Baby” we find out that Max’s son is fully human. Since when can mere humans send messages across the vastness of space? When we see the little guy, he doesn’t look able to manipulate any kind of alien equipment so who is signaling Max? Is Tess doing it? To be fair, there’s nothing to indicate that Max’s son does not have this ability but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t ask. Plus, what exactly is it about said contact that causes Max to kneel over in pain? That is never explained to my satisfaction.

Max, Isabel, and Michael seem quite confident that the little room they discuss the ship in isn’t bugged or otherwise being monitored as they openly discuss it together. Ordinarily, Isabel would be freaking out talking about things like this in public. But then, that’s never stopped anyone before even though Max made the rule against doing so back in “Crazy.”

In this same scene, Max asks his second in command to retrieve the key so that he and Liz will not be linked to another crime, namely grand larceny! Darn good idea Max. It might have also helped if you hadn’t used your real names during the whole thing!

This episode also has the very first mention of the Royal’s home planet’s name, Antar. It had only previously been mentioned on the now defunct silverhandprint.com. I’m told that many fans were less then enthusiastic about the name. I rather like it since it can date back in a way to “Heatwave.” See my review of that episode for details. But where did they learn this name? Was it in the translation of the Destiny book? That was never fully read on any show but it seems the only likely place it would have come from.

In a slight nod to UPN for picking up the show, Liz tries on a WWF hat when she and Max enter the Quick Stop the first time. UPN also carries WWF Smackdown which is one of the network’s highest rated shows. (No emails saying it’s not “WWF” anymore. I know that and I think “WWE” sounds too much like I am calling for a pig.)

Agent Burns appears for the first time here as well. I believe that he doesn’t show up again until “Crash.” He pales in comparison to Pierce if you ask me.

Max says that in searching the UFO Center (which also mysteriously disappears this season) he found five places in Utah that are government storage facilities. He even has a list! Ooooooh, goodie. Let’s look at that list. This is how Max had it written on the sheet of paper he had. Let’s do one at a time.

“1. OF2-14 5743 Highway 23

Salina, Utah”

The “OF2-14” thing is probably some sort of top secret government serial number (I’m just playing along.) There is no highway 23 in Utah though. At least, not on my atlas there isn’t.

“2. GF2-15 897 Rosewood Ave

Filmor, Utah”

There is no city in Utah with the name of “Filmor.” Nor is there one called “Filmore.” For this and the next one too, you can’t find a street address without having a name so whether or not these addresses really exist or not isn’t possible.

“3. GF2-16 5518 Timer Oaks Drive

Filmor, Utah”

Again, no Filmor.

“4. GF2-17”

The address on this one is so badly marked over that I cannot read it. Not on TV at any rate. If I had a hardcopy of it, I could probably make it out.

“5. GR2-18 453 Highway 65

Salina, Utah”

Once again, there is no highway 65 in Utah. It would have been very easy for the creators to put a different highway number on paper then the one Joey called into the cops but they didn’t so kudos on staying accurate even if it is geographically incorrect.

Sometimes the best way to hide something is to hide it in plain sight. However, in the case of the space ship, I’m not sure if it was the best choice. Something that sensitive should be at Area 51 constantly under guard. Plus, I want to know how they got the thing in and out of the storage facility. The ship wouldn’t exactly fit in a tractor trailer. Does it fold in half or did the driver tell everyone he was delivering the new “Pie in the Sky” sign?

Where did Max get the new car? The guy doesn’t have a job. Well, we haven’t seen him working at the UFO Center since it has disappeared so where did he get the money to buy it? Or did he buy it? Given the trend Max is on, grand theft auto seems right up his alley.

Why is the Quick Stop closed? Police investigations on armed robberies don’t normally shut down convenience stores unless something really bad like a murder happens in them. One might argue that they closed the store to search for more evidence to convict Liz but I really doubt there was much to find. They already got Liz’s hair.

Phillip Evans seems to think that he can get the kids off scot-free. I’m no lawyer but I think Max and Liz shouldn’t have gotten off so easily. They may not have found the gun, and they may or may not think the store clerk is a total whack, and this may have been the two’s first offense but there is one indisputable fact that would have stuck to them like glue: the first police car on the scene would have seen two figures running out of the store and jump into a car. The officer then chased that car and never once let it out of his sight. That same car was stopped by the same officer. Now it doesn’t matter whether or not the officer could identify the two in the car, he chased both of them out of the store. If there was no one else in the store, the police got their robbers! Liz and Max are going to jail and being the best students at Roswell high won’t save them.

There is one thing they could for sure pin on Max though. As Max runs out of the store, he snatches a bag of chips off the counter rack. Anyone who searched the car would have found them. They could have charged Max with shoplifting as well.

I also don’t know what kind of evidence they really think they have against Liz. If the bit I mentioned above is not used, the only thing the judge has to hold over Liz is that she fits the description and sounds like the girl who robbed the story. He also has a few of Liz’s hairs. I’m not sure that would stand up in court. A good lawyer could argue that the hairs are there because she and Max went in to buy Lucky Charms (part of this balanced breakfast!) As for the description, I’ll bet the lawyer could find ten to twenty women who could match Liz’s description. Sending the case to criminal court seems like a waste of time. If the judge really did want to lay the law down to impress his voters, he could have given the both of them a suspended sentence and community service at home.

When Max and Liz are finally pulled over, Max is hauled out of the car and thrown to the ground. Liz fairs better and is gently pulled out by her arm and told to face the car. Liz must have gotten the nice cop.

I thought the mention of the chemical tetryl was a nice touch. Tetryl is an odorless, yellowish powder that was used during World War I and II by the U.S. to make explosives. It is no longer manufactured and it is all sitting in government storage facilities as the Department of Defense destroys it. So it is possible that you could find it in government storage bunkers like the one seen here. I’m not sure what kind of damage Phillip Evans could have done by letting it be publicly known that on federally owned land mind you, there was a supply of tetryl. To date, there is no medical test to detect tetryl nor has there been any studies to determine whether it causes cancer or not. Even if it was made public, all the government would have to do is say that there was a supply there awaiting destruction but it has been destroyed per governmental order. Somehow, the fear of the news of it getting out is enough to make Agent Burns drop the charges on Liz. If it were dioxin, I could see it being something to worry about. Not tetryl.

You know, if Burns was serious about that line of Phillip and Max being lucky to walk away alive, you wonder why he didn’t bring a few more agents with him, shoot the Evans boys and make them disappear. Especially if Burns is still with the FBI’s special unit which he claims to be in “Four Aliens and a Baby.” He could have done it and no one been the wiser about the Evans’s fate. Well, maybe. We all know how good the FBI is on this show.

Max is so bent out of shape at the end of this episode that he forgets to turn on his wind force field as he drives in his car. It’s understandable though. He’s had a rough day.

#302 Michael, The Guys And The Great Snapple Caper – Review

Written by Chad Evans (Nitpickius Roswellian)

Yep, this is a Michael episode all right.

I am a bit puzzled about him though. Towards the end of season two, Michael appeared to have gotten his life together and was walking the straight and narrow. In fact, as leaders go, it appeared that Michael and Max were switching roles. Max was distracted by all of his “diddling” so to speak and Michael was becoming responsible and beginning to master his powers. This episode shows that change doesn’t happen as fast as one might think.

This episode has the feel of season one so much that I would have expected to see it there. It would fit perfectly at some point after the events of “Independence Day.” You’d just have to change the Max / Liz stuff a bit.

As I said before, Michael has gone back to his roots. He can’t pay his electric bill. He replaces the TV he blew up in “The End of the World” with a really expensive entertainment center. And to top things off, he’s still going out to dinner with Maria and having her pick up the check (I wonder what his rent payment each month is. On a side note, why does Maria still go to dinner with him when she is the one who always pays? You’d think she’d know better by now. Is there anything else to do in Roswell besides eat?) When season two ended, I just felt Michael had shaped up. He was even trying to get his school situation straightened out in “Busted.” However, to be fair, he did do the right thing for everyone in the end so he hasn’t totally lost it.

One thing I don’t understand is how Michael refused to admit that he was responsible for everything. His actions got the entire security staff fired (though I agree with him that firing the whole shift was a little extreme.) In trying to ignore the obvious in a conversation with Max, Michael says it’s not his fault that Steve “married someone and then knocked her up before he could get a decent job.” Aye-yai, Michael! I suppose it’s a good thing that he sees marrying Maria “a little bit down the road” huh? Michael says everything he can to avoid saying it was his fault. It’s both amusing and disturbing. But it’s all Michael!!

While I sympathize with Max and the heartbreak he and Liz are feeling by not being able to see each other, I am not totally on his side. Mr. Parker hit the nail on the head when he asked Max to tell him that Liz being with him doesn’t put her life in danger. Max couldn’t answer. I brought this point up in “Busted” but it bears repeating here. If you say that you can’t live with yourself if something happens to your girlfriend, then you make damn sure that nothing does happen! Perhaps if Max had thought things through last episode, maybe he wouldn’t have had to face the wrath of a father, both his own and Liz’s. I’m sorry Max but you made your own bed. You can lie in it.

I’ve nothing really to expound upon with Liz other then to say that I think she’s over that whole thing with Tess. I’ve also very few things to say about Maria. I will say that this is one of the last couple of episodes in season three where I actually liked her. Season three is a growing session for Maria and her decisions in life are going to kind of suck the laughter out of her character. But that’s ok because Kyle is going to step in and fill the void.

Kyle actually is going to take over two other character’s aspects: Maria’s humor and the comfort and supportiveness of Alex. When Alex died, Isabel lost a confidant and someone she could talk to. Kyle is going to become that person for her. We find out for sure how Kyle feels about Isabel in “A Tale of Two Parties” but I’m kind of surprised the creators didn’t explore this before now. I think Kyle has always had feelings for Isabel but never bothered to act on it. But as of right now, Alex is still not totally out of Isabel’s life. Not yet.

I’m really trying to be kind when it concerns Jim Valenti. I know that his life was all about his job and when that was taken away from him, he lost his focus. Since there’s absolutely no way to determine just how much time has past since Valenti was fired, it has to have been at least four months (the three months covered in “Busted” and last episodes of season two which surely covered a month’s time.) You know who could have helped him get through all of this? Someone who mysteriously disappears this season. Where the heck did Amy De Luca go? She was trying to get Jim out of the house last season and if she had continued that, I’ll bet that Valenti would not be as much of a dead beat as he is in this episode. The truth is that Diane Farr was appearing on another show at the time but as I have said before, I don’t deal in reality. (Wink, wink.) I’m a little surprised that Valenti has let it go on as long as he has. He’s always been seen as a true father figure and the danger of him losing his mortgage surely had to have been a warning sign for him and his son.

Oh, and I just have to comment on this. The Kit Shickers? Who thought of that name? Was that the best the band (creators) could think of? How about “Jim Valenti and the Outlaws?” At least that would have been somewhat amusing.

As I said, I’m not sure about the time that has passed between “Busted” and “Departure” but I’m also not sure about the time between this episode and “Busted.” My best guess is that it couldn’t have been more then a few days. I don’t think Max would have spent too long living out of his car. His clothes also appear clean and he doesn’t have as much stubble on his face as he did in “Busted.” The clothes and shaving part could have been handled with a simple wave of the hand (Ah, could we all be so lucky) so who knows. It’s times like this when I really miss Liz’s journal entries.

At the beginning of this episode, Michael is upset that the power company has shut off his electricity. This is supported by him using candles and kerosene lanterns for lighting. If his power is shut off, then why does the light in his refrigerator come on when he opens it allowing Maria to see the case of stolen Snapple? Does the little gnome that lives in the fridge that turns on the light when you open the door also ride a bike to generate power for that light?

For clarity’s sake, I’ll identify the security guards so everyone will know whom I’m talking about when I mention their names. Fly is the guy Michael calls “Chico.” Monk is the one who wears glasses, Steve is the married guy, and the last one’s name is George. Much thanks to whoever wrote the transcript of this episode because I was a little lost figuring out everyone’s name.

During one of the goofing off segments, Fly is shown smoking a cigar. What? No fire alarm? Even the places that make medicines adhere to the standards of a hospital and that includes the “no smoking in the building” rule.

Carl tells the night shift that “several cases of Peach Snapple” were stolen from the break room. “Several” usually means more then one. But Michael only returns one case. Either he drank the others or Carl was exaggerating.

I also wonder how Carl explained to his superiors what evidence he had that convinced him to fire everyone. All he had was a lid to a bottle. Just one lid! I think one would need a little more then that to fire an entire shift. Another odd thing about the firing is that the Wheelers hired Michael because they wanted to watch him believing him to be the “healing alien.” This comes from the episode “Panacea.” I wonder how they felt about Carl firing him.

The only flavor of Snapple that is mentioned is “Peach Snapple.” When I think of peach flavored drinks, I usually expect it to be pink or clear. All the Snapple Michael has is a very dark color and they all have the word “Diet” on the lids. I thought this was a simple mistake but it’s not. After a little trip to Snapple.com, I discovered that the only flavor of Peach that Snapple has is “Diet Peach Tea.” So the creators got the flavor correct. Nice attention to detail.

I simply can’t help from snickering whenever I see Liz’s spikey hairdo she is sporting when Max animates the paintings on the Crashdown wall. It’s just so funky looking.

It’s time to have fun with liquids again. During Kyle’s meal and chat with Isabel, the soda level in Kyle’s glass stays about half full. By the end of the conversation, the level of soda has jumped to three-fourths full without more soda being added. If I’m going to point out this nit, I must point out that the pink stuff Kyle pours for himself at the beginning of the episode when he comes home stays at the same level throughout the scene. Though Kyle does take a drink of it (oooooh, they almost got it.)

I have to laugh at this one but it is easily explained. Michael sneaks into Meta-Chem intending to return the stolen Snapple. The funny part is that he gets inside in broad daylight carrying the stuff and no one sees him. I used to work for a pharmaceutical distribution company and just about every door to an area was electronically locked. Of course, Michael’s powers make this point moot but it’s strange that no one saw him. The fact that janitors are in the building suggests Michael entered the building after business hours, which would make things a bit easier.

I understand that Carl is head of security and that he has the master key to any room and the access to turn off the video camera. However, that does not explain why he has thumbprint access to the medical cabinets. There’s no reason for a security guard to have clearance for that. I suppose it’s possible that Carl gave himself the access. He most likely would have the ability to do that but does everyone at Meta-Chem trust him that well? He must have covered his tracks quite well.

Carl steals a sample from the medical cabinet and then inserts his security card into a slot to open the sample delivery door. Again, that’s not something a security guard should have access for but he probably arranged that. Carl places the sample on the panel, removes his card and walks away. A janitor then puts his security card into the slot on the opposite side of the door and removes the sample. Wait a minute. The sample door was already open. All the janitor had to do was reach in and pick up the sample. The card wasn’t to close the sample door because it remained open even after the sample was removed. What did the janitor insert his card for? This happens twice. Once when Michael first observes Carl’s theft and again when he captures him on camera.

With Michael watching, Carl takes a bite of his burrito and then tosses it into a trash can. Look behind Carl and you’ll see two steel containers marked “Nitrogen.” While all sorts of chemicals are used to manufacture medicines, I honestly don’t know if nitrogen is one of them. The reason I ask is because at room temperature, nitrogen exists as a gas and is mostly inert. To be used in liquid form, it must be extremely cold (-346 degrees Fahrenheit or -210 Celsius) and is stored in pressurized cryogenic stainless steel vessels called dewars. I’ve never seen one but it’s possible that is what those containers behind Carl are. To see a drum full of the stuff just sitting around is a little abnormal even in a chemical lab. It is frequently used to keep things cold but it’s done so under controlled conditions. Like liquid oxygen, (see “Sexual Healing”) nitrogen in liquid form is cold enough to deaden your skin on contact.

Monk creates a continuity error. While the guys are all gathered at Michael’s house, Monk is sitting on a stool fiddling with a bottle. The first time we see Monk, he puts the lid on the bottle and sits it on the counter beside him. We switch to a shot of Michael and then go back to the wide shot of the guys playing table hockey. Now Monk has the bottle in his hands again and has the lid off the bottle. For the rest of the scene, Monk acts like he is trying to screw the lid back on the bottle but can’t quite get it back into place. He’s probably too excited about screwing Carl to be able to screw on a lid.

Fly tells Michael not to call him “Chico” because coming from him, it just doesn’t sound right. Of course, Mr. Rebel Alien continues to call him that.

This happens in movies and television all the time but I ask the same question every time I see it happening. Are air ducts really made to support the weight of a full-grown man? I guess it just wouldn’t do to always have our heroes come crashing down out of them after just one step.

I think the VCRs at Meta-Chem are psychic. When Michael first sticks the camera out of the vent, we see Carl walk along the window and stop at the cabinet to open it. We then switch to a shot of Monk putting a tape into the VCR. Notice the TV screens behind him. They are all snow. Once the videotape sets into place, the TV’s click on and we see Carl walking by the windows and stopping at the cabinet again. How did the VCR capture these images if it had already taken place BEFORE the VCR turned on? Camera delay perhaps?

As the ceiling begins to collapse, Michael is kneeling down on all fours. When the ceiling collapses, the stunt man falls as if he was lying on his back in the duct. The only way this would have happened is if Michael suddenly turned over just before he fell. I don’t think there was time for that.

When Michael falls, he stands up directly in the spot where he fell. After Carl pulls a gun on him, he uses his powers to pull the ceiling down on top of him. This pulls another section of the ceiling down on him as well. Keep in mind that Michael never took a step so there should be nothing but a hole where he originally fell. There shouldn’t be any tiles left to fall on him.

Back in “Missing”, I made a big deal about the Valenti household not being locked. I figured that the FBI guy who was searching the house simply forgot to re-lock it when he broke in. But Kyle walked in the house and didn’t react like the front door being unlocked was a big deal. I thought that was strange because there is a collection of guns hanging on the wall by the door (which aren’t there in this episode mind you.) I’m told that there are some places in the U.S. where people leave their doors unlocked. It’s just natural since crime isn’t that rampant where they live. As absurd as I find that, I know that the businesses in these areas are still said to lock their doors after hours. Apparently, the Crashdown doesn’t follow that rule. Max asks Liz to meet him at midnight. Let’s be gracious and say that they spent two hours paragliding. That makes their return time to the Café at 2am and they stride right in the unlocked front door and neither seems to find that strange. Of course, they’re both love-numbed so they probably aren’t paying attention. It’s also possible that Mr. Parker deliberately left the door unlocked for them. It just seems awfully weird for a place that has the cash register right by the door to leave their door unlocked.

Max wants Liz to sneak out to meet him. Presumably, they don’t want Mr. Parker to find out that Liz is doing this so they would most likely want to be careful. I guess they were just too love-numbed to realize that when you’re trying to be sneaky, you don’t want to enter a building at the door that has a tinkling little bell on it. “Missing” shows us that there is a back door that leads straight into the Parker’s upstairs apartment in the alleyway out back. Why not use that door?

Speaking of sneaky, Mr. Parker is no slouch in that department either. It’s a little hard to tell because of the camera angle but I didn’t see him sitting on the stool at the end of the bar by the register when Liz and Max came in. If he was there, they totally missed him the entire time they were in the Café (Boy, being love-numbed sure makes you stupid.) In the same light, the long shots as Liz walks away from Max don’t show Mr. Parker sitting there either! So either he’s a former Navy Seal and an expert in concealment or he was hunched down under the counter or sitting on the floor behind the register. Then when Max turns around, he pops up onto the stool. He also brings the drink he had with him because it’s not on the counter until he speaks to Max. Kinda makes you go “Hmm” doesn’t it?

Mr. Parker demands that Max tell him where he and Liz went. Max says they went to the desert. No, Max. You went to a dam. You went to the desert in “Sexual Healing.” Me thinks you got your episodes mixed up. You might say “Maybe the dam is IN the desert.” Well, maybe. But that’s not what Max said. Hey, I didn’t write the dialogue! (Pick, pick, pick, pick, pick!)

Speaking of this dam the love birds paraglide off of, I want to know where that thing is. In New Mexico, water is scarce. Robert Hull tells me that rivers in the state are what many would consider a “creek.” Several of them are so small that they do not appear on maps (like the ones I have. More detailed maps will show you everything.) The closest river that is large enough to appear on my aerial map is the Pecos River, which also has the Bitter Lake National Wildlife Refuge park just east of the town. There is a dam of sorts there which forms a lake but it’s not large enough to paraglide off of…unless of course you can make wind with your hand. It’s amazing the lengths the creators use to place things in Roswell that simply are not there! (Like palm trees! See “Independence Day.”)

Back to the unlocked door bit. When Mr. Parker goes upstairs, he leaves the Café doors unlocked. He must think Max will do it for him. See? He really does like Max after all.

A great quote this episode:

“Welcome to my world.” -Michael after Steve tells him he is a crazy bastard for breaking into Meta-Chem.