Marple, Maria Marple

Written by oyhumbug (Charlynn)

Title: Marple, Maria Marple
Author: oyhumbug (Charlynn)
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Rating: Teen
Disclaimer: I can claim no ownership of the show Roswell nor the characters used in this story. Unfortunately.
Summary: Set during the final episode of season one, Maria realizes that Tess isn’t exactly who she claims to be, and she sets out to save all her friends from the fourth alien.
Category: Max/Liz, Michael/Maria, Isabel/Alex
Author’s Notes: This is my first Roswell story. I just recently watched the show online in its entirety (or, at least, what is available, for there are a few missing episodes), and, once I finished, I was struck by how little sense the whole Tess debacle made. Someone should have realized the holes to her story, and I hated the fact that Max and Isabel’s mother agreed with it. So, taking my objections, I wrote a little one shot where Maria recognizes that things with the fourth alien don’t add up the way they’re supposed to, long before Tess has enough time to do any real damage. Let’s just say that this is my attempt to right some wrongs and to retell the final episode of season one. Thanks and enjoy!

Marple, Maria Marple
A One Shot

Czechoslovakians were weird. It was a commonly accepted and known fact… amongst those who knew what Czechoslovakians were. But Tess… Well, she was more than just weird. There was something about the girl that bothered Maria, and it was more than just the fact that she was sprouting off about the aliens’ destiny and trying to come between both she and Michael and Max and Liz.

Frankly, the girl pissed her off.

Typically, she was a laid back sixteen year old. She went to school, she went
to work, she made out with her not-so-human, alien boyfriend, just like any
other normal teenager. Sure, there were the occasional patches of danger, but
they did live in Roswell, and she did hang out with extraterrestrials. Wasn’t a
little risk to be expected? And, yes, Michael could annoy more than what was
commonly accepted as healthy, but Maria was convinced that was all just a part
of some crazy, kind of hot alien mating ritual. However, it was different – the
annoyance she felt towards her boyfriend and the sheer animosity that the newly
arrived Czechoslovakian inspired within her. What she felt towards Tess was
deeper, harsher, not put upon, and there was something about the blonde that
set her radar off. Something wasn’t right about her.

Sitting off with Alex, separated by both distance and DNA from Isabel and Tess,
the diner waitress observed the girl who bothered her so much. If she could
just put her finger on what it was that made the other alien so… well, alien,
then she knew that she would be figuring out a pretty significant piece to the whole
crazy puzzle they were all working together to solve. She was missing
something, though, something key, but, maybe if she talked her way through the
problem, maybe if she bounced her ideas around and off of someone else, someone
more objective, then she would be able to crack the case.

“Hey,” she started, elbowing her best friend in the ribs, and that’s what Alex
was – her best friend, because Liz was more than that. To the only child, Liz
was more like the sister she didn’t have and had never particularly wanted
while growing up. “Pss!”

“What,” the brunette beside her asked, sounding exhausted, aggravated, and
slightly perturbed. Although his voice wasn’t elevated, it still echoed
throughout the hollow salt mine, and the reverberations of his response drew
both of the female aliens’ attentions towards their direction. Quickly, though,
both Isabel and Tess looked away, evidently too worried about other matters to
concern themselves with mere human issues, but that suited her purposes just
fine.

“I want to talk to you about something.”

“Well, did you have to resort to physical violence to do so,” Alex complained.
“That hurt.”

“And you’re a wimp,” Maria countered, rolling her eyes. She knew that her soft
elbow to the ribs hadn’t really done any damage. Her friend was merely whining
for the sake of whining… kind of like Michael. Were all boys that exasperating,
even the ones she didn’t date?

Lowering her voice several notches, she asked, “so, what do you think about
Tess?”

The teenager beside her fixed her with a pointed stare. “You really want to
have this discussion now?”

Snapping, the waitress replied, “just answer my question. I have a point here,
you know.”

“I’m sure you think you do, but you probably don’t, so just do us both a favor,
and…”

“And would you just listen to me for a minute,” she beseeched him. When he
still held his stern glare, she added, “please? This isn’t about me; this is
about Tess, and Max… and Liz.”

“Alright, fine,” her best friend agreed, “but, for the record…”

“You don’t think now is the appropriate time,” Maria mocked, waving away his concerns.
“Yeah, yeah, I heard you. Whatever. Anyway,” she segued, “like I asked, what do
you think of her, of Tess?”

“She’s… nice, I guess.”

“Alex, come on, that’s a Michael response, and it tells me absolutely nothing.”

“Well, I don’t know,” the brunette wavered, running a distracted hand through
his close cropped hair only to stop and rub the back of his skull as if he had
a headache. “She kind of makes me feel… uncomfortable.”

“Exactly,” the waitress exclaimed, throwing her hands up in animated agreement.
When she received curious glances from the Czechoslovakian in question and her
more humanized counterpart, she grinned sheepishly as a silent form of apology.
Soon, both Tess and Isabel returned to ignoring both she and Alex. Once they
did, she looked again towards the teen beside her. “She’s just so blonde,
right? I mean, Max is this dark and dangerous, brooding kind of guy, and here
comes his supposed mate, and she’s all blonde with bright eyes and curly hair,
and she’s perky. It just doesn’t make any sense.”

Standing up, her best friend glowered down upon her. “I thought you were being
serious, Maria.”

“I was,” she protested. “Have you looked at the two of them lately? They just
don’t fit. I mean, like, at all!”

“No,” Alex whispered harshly, ending her rant. “I thought you were really
worried about Liz, that you found out something about Tess that could
potentially put our friend in jeopardy, but all you’re worried about is the
fact that Tess and Max don’t look good as a couple. What’s wrong with you?”

“Oh, come on,” she hissed back, standing up to meet his gaze… or, at least,
come as close to meeting his gaze as she possibly could. Even with heels on,
compared to the brunette, she was still vertically challenged. “She’s always
going on, sprouting off at the mouth about how they’re destined to be together. Well, if that’s true, don’t you think that
destiny would have, at least, made them look good together? I mean, he’s a
Czechoslovakian king, for crying out loud! His queen should look the part.”

“Maria, this isn’t some movie you’re casting; this is real life… with a freaky
Roswell twist. So what if Tess and Max don’t match up well together. We have
more important things to worry about right now. Oh, say, I don’t know –
surviving! You know what,” the brunette said, holding his hands out before him
and moving several steps away from her. “I can’t talk to you right now. Take
your crazy conspiracies to someone else, and leave me alone. I’ve had enough.”

“Fine,” the waitress shouted at his retreating form. “That’s just fine. I’ll do
that.”

But Alex didn’t respond. He just shook his head in dismissal, in disappointment,
and looked away from her. If he wouldn’t help her, though, somebody would. She
just had to find a sympathetic ear. Already, the sixteen year old knew that she
couldn’t talk to her boyfriend about the matter. Michael was too… Michael to
understand. Plus, he was gone, off risking his life to save Max and Liz, which
she both appreciated and resented at the same time. Obviously, she wouldn’t
talk to Tess, Max hardly talked at all, and Liz was too close to the issue.
Roving her narrowed, intense gaze around the salt mine, Maria stopped upon Isabel.

If a human couldn’t understand her qualms, then maybe a Czechoslovakian would.
After all, they had all those weird, creepy powers. Maybe it was time Isabel
put her supernatural abilities to good use, helping her to expose the traitor
amongst them. The more she thought about the matter, the more she was convinced
that there just wasn’t something right about Tess, and, in Roswell, something
not being right often translated to disturbing, wrong, and just plain
dangerous. One way or another, with or without Alex’s help, she was going to
figure this out. Her next stop for help: female alien intuition.

~
& ~

“Doesn’t it bother you?”

“What?”

They were in position at the UFO Center, lying in wait for Pierce to come
waltzing… or, more accurately, investigating his way into their trap. Max had
gone after Kyle and the agent stationed at the Valenti’s, Liz and Tess were
handling the second suit, and Michael was busy as well, leaving Maria with both
Isabel and Alex, only her best friend was still mad at her and off pouting
somewhere. Boys could be such big babies.

“Tess,” the waitress expanded upon her previous question, eyeing the extraterrestrial
beside her closely. They were kneeled down, out of sight, and whispering. “And
how she always sides with Max, doesn’t that just annoy the crap out of you?”

The natural blonde beside her narrowed her gaze in consideration. “What do you
mean?”

“Well, she’s just so damn simpering. I swear, she’s like one of those cheesy,
50’s housewives who live to please their husbands. Can you say, ‘Hello, Donna
Reed?’ Seriously!”

Isabel just stared at her, confused. “I have no idea what you just said.”

“Okay, it’s like this,” she laid it out there for her. “You and Michael, while
you typically will eventually follow Max’s decisions, you’ll stand up to him,
too. You’re not afraid to speak your peace and tell him that he’s full of crap
when he’s wrong, but Tess isn’t like that.” Noticing that her Czechoslovakian
counterpart was following along, Maria pressed on. “She agrees with anything
and everything your brother says. I swear, if he told her to cover herself in
peanut butter, roll herself in feathers, and then walk around clucking like a
chicken, she’d do it. It’s freaky.”

“It’s maddening is what it is,” the alien argued. “And you’re right. Tess never
stands up to Max.”

“And it’s more than just that, too,” the waitress continued. “Have you noticed
how she always tries to stand as close to him as possible. She’s way too touchy
feely in my opinion, especially since he is

still Liz’s boyfriend, not hers, no matter what sort of weird Martian mind
tricks she tries to pull on him.” Recognizing the less than pleased glower washing
over the natural blonde’s features, she added, “no offense.”

“Aside from your choice of words, you do have a point.”

“Thank you,” Maria cried out, nodding her head in self-recognition. “It’s about
damn time somebody realized that.”

However, her victory was short lived. “But that probably has something to do
with the fact that they’re supposed to be together, that she is… or was… or
will be, I don’t know, his wife.”

“Says Tess,” she argued vehemently. “Do we have any proof that what she is telling
us is more than just a big, stinking load of bull?”

“There’s the book,” Isabel pointed out.

“What, that piece of carved tin? Yeah, whatever,” the sixteen year old human
dismissed. “How do we even know if that thing is legit? Tess could have carved
it herself. Besides, back to your original argument, if she really is your…
kind’s queen, shouldn’t she be strong enough to stand up for herself? God, grow
a backbone already. Old Queen Elizabeth’s rolling around in her grave right
this very minute at the thought.”

At first, the alien adjacent to her just looked perplexed, overwhelmed, then
realization and acknowledgement started to set in, but it was quickly ignored,
pushed aside, disregarded. “Maybe you have a point, maybe you don’t. I don’t
know. But what I do know,” Isabel stated, standing to move away from her, “is
that now is not the time to be talking about this. We have more important
things to be worried about, and I can’t waste my time coming up with conspiracy
theories with you. I need to stay focused, and, if you’re going to help us,
Maria, you need to do the same thing.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’ve heard this speech already once before,” the waitress
grumbled. When the challenging Czechoslovakian raised a single brow in
opposition, she relented… momentarily. “Fine, I’ll let it go – for now.”

Satisfied, the natural blonde walked off, calling out softly for Alex and
leaving Maria, once again, on her own – to think, to plan, to sort through the
very few pieces of true knowledge that they had about the extraterrestrial in
question. When Tess got back, she was going to be watching her closely, looking
for clues. For some reason, it felt as though time was running out, and she
didn’t want to be too late. In fact, she had a feeling that she couldn’t be, because,
if she was, well… Some thoughts were better off not expressed. After all, once
they were put out there into the universe, they couldn’t be taken back, and, if
growing up in Roswell had taught her anything, it was not to tempt fate, for it
was such a fickle bitch.

~
& ~

“So, check this out,” Maria began, sliding into the
booth seat opposite her best friend. “I have the ultimate skinny on Tess.”

Sighing, Alex begged in a hushed tone, “would you please just let this bias you
have against the Czechoslovakian rest already? I’m a little distracted with
what… oh, I don’t know – worrying about whether or not the girl I like is going
to live or stay on this planet long enough for us to figure out what exactly is
going on between us.”

She just ignored him. “Alright, forget about earlier. I still stand by what I
said – she and Max don’t make any sense together look wise, but whatever. And
forget about the whole Donna Reed impersonation thing, too.”

Sitting back stunned, the brunette observed, “oh, you’re totally right about
that. She does have that freaky, simpering 50’s housewife routine down pat,
doesn’t she?”

“Exactly, that’s what I told Isabel!”

Appearing interested, Alex asked, “and what did she say?”

“Oh, she agreed with me, too, and we both find Tess’ whole submissive routine
to be quite irritating… and disgusting, for that matter, but I have something
even more enlightening to tell you.” Taking a deep breath, she spread her hands
out on the Formica tabletop before her and lowered her voice conspiratorially.
“She has the ability to make people see things, things they either don’t want
to see or can’t.”

Her best friend’s gaze widened, appropriately shocked. “Whoa. Can they all… can
all Czechoslovakians do that?”

“No, just Tess.”

“Talk about trippy,” the human teen remarked, sounding slightly dazed. “Do you
think she’s ever pulled it on one of us?”

“Oh, I have no doubt,” Maria answered. “And just think about what that means.
Basically, she has the power to control our minds. In her hands, we’re mere
puppets. ‘Love me, Max.’ ‘No, I love Liz.’ Bam! Presto! Bibbity, bobbity, boo!
She makes him see himself loving her, and he all of a sudden does. It’s classic
Czechoslovakian relationship manipulation. Liz has absolutely no shot
whatsoever.

“And, what’s more,” the waitress continued, “she could make us turn against
each other; she could make us physically hurt each other. She could even make
Michael do her homework for her, and I think we all know just what kind of
miracle that would be.”

“Yeah, and high school career suicide, too,” Alex quipped.

“So, you see my point, right? There’s something… off about her, about Tess.”

Nodding in affirmation, her best friend stated, “I see your point, and I agree
with you. My only question is: what are we supposed to do about it? In case
you’ve forgotten, we’re just your every day, run of the mill humans. We don’t
stand a chance against a mind controlling Czechoslovakian. We’ll just have to
sit here and wait for them to come back, and, when they do…”

Standing up, Maria interrupted him. “If you want to stay here, sitting on your
hands, then fine. Do that. But I can’t.”

Following her out of his seat, the brunette protested, “but you have no idea
where they would take Nasedo if they did manage to find him.”

“Duh, they’d take him to the pods. It’s the safest place.” Realization dawning,
she stopped dead in her tracks. “Oh my god – the pods!”

“What, what,” Alex queried, sounding slightly panicked. “What about the pods?”

“Why didn’t I think of it before,” the sixteen year old mentally berated
herself. “It’s so simple, and it’s been right there, staring us smack-dab in
the face this whole time.”

Feeling herself being spun around by the elbow, she stood facing her best
friend right outside of the Crashdown’s doors. With his dark eyes boring into
hers, the human teenager repeated, “what about the pods?”

“I’ll tell you on the way,” the waitress promised, “but we don’t have time
right now. We have to get to them… like yesterday!”

“What,” Alex objected, his voice rising several octaves. “Are you insane?”
Shaking his head no, he stated, “I’m staying right here. When it’s safe, Max,
Michael, Isabel, and Liz will come back, and we’ll tell them… whatever it is
that you’ve thought of then.”

“Sorry, no can do,” she disagreed. “I’m going. You can either come with me, or
you can stay here. It’s up to you, but you can’t stop me.” After waiting
several seconds during which her best friend simply dropped her arm, Maria
nodded in acknowledgment of his decision. “Wish me luck,” she yelled out before
jumping into her car. Before she even had the door shut, the engine was already
turned on, and she was pulling out of her parking spot.

It was so simple, so obvious! She couldn’t believe that she hadn’t thought of
it before, but better late than ever and all that other corny mumbo-jumbo. At
least she knew it now, and Tess was going down!

~
& ~

Out of breath (seriously, did Czechoslovakians really need to make their top secret,
hidden hideouts on the very tippy-top of a freaking cliff?), sweaty, and pissed
off, Maria arrived at the pods just in time to see a partially solid, pretty
much normal looking figure appear… if you ignored the whole glowing thing… and
start to speak to the alien-human assembly present. The woman’s tone was
mechanical, almost robotic, and she found herself realizing where the
extraterrestrial trio she knew so well got their sometimes cardboard speaking
habits from.

“My son,” the blonde image greeted Max before turning towards Isabel and
Michael, “my daughter, my son’s second-in-command.” When her gaze stopped upon
Tess, the woman paused, and her brow wrinkled. “Who are you? Are you Michael’s
girlfriend?”

“Nope,” the waitress revealed herself, stepping out of the shadows and into the
center of the pod room. “That would be me. Tess is, well, I was hoping you
could tell us who she is exactly.”

Whispering harshly, Liz attempted to chastise her. “Maria, what do you think
you’re doing? Shut up!”

However, she ignored her almost-sister and the glowers coming from the aliens surrounding
her and pushed on. “You see,” the sixteen year old explained, “Tess claims that
she’s destined to be with Max here, that she’s his former Martian bride, and
that they’ll someday be together again.”

The image laughed, the sound both melodious and amused. “That’s preposterous.
Smiling serenely, the physical representation of Max and Isabel’s mother stated
unequivocally, “Liz is my son’s destiny – here, on earth. They will together
guide and protect our kind and welcome new generations to this world.”

“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” Maria agreed. Leaning comfortably
against one of the cavern’s walls she continued on. “Everything about her has
been bothering me for a while now – her looks, her attitude, her freaking mind
controlling abilities.”

“Well, it’s the first you’ve mentioned it to me,” Michael griped. He was so
cute when he was pouting, but she couldn’t get distracted, not now.

“However, none of that proved anything,” the waitress admitted, “especially
since all Czechoslovakians have creepy powers. But that was before I remembered
the pods.”

“What about them,” Tess challenged. “They are where we were born – all four of
us.”

“Oh, I know, but let’s return to that adorable birthing story, shall we?”
Folding her hands in front of her, the human sixteen year old smirked. “Max, Isabel,
and Michael, they were all born at about the same time, but you were still
stuck inside your pod, blowing bubbles. If you and Max were so destined to be
together, why’d he leave you here? He felt such a strong connection to Isabel,
his sister, that they were fold holding hands, wandering around the desert
together, and their connection with Michael is so strong, they eventually found
him again, too, but they forgot about your imposter ass.”

Standing up to her full height and pushing away from the wall, Maria advanced
towards the alien in question. “You’re not his destiny, you’re not his Martian
bride, and you’re sure as hell not going to come into my town and break us all up. So, go back to Uranus… or whatever the
hell planet you came from, Tess, because you’re not welcome here.”

For several seconds, time seemed to stand still, but, once the fog lifted,
Maria realized that Tess was gone. Despite the action being useless, she
glanced around the small, enclosed space, but the blonde had magically gone
poof… almost literally. “Ugh, sometimes your stupid powers are really
inconvenient!”

“Do not worry,” the image reassured them. “She will not be able to hide
forever. I do not know who she is, or why she is here, but she is not your
destiny, Max, and I have faith that between you, your sister, your second in
command, your bride, Maria here…” Pausing long enough to bestow the waitress
with a warm grin, the glowing blonde finished, “and whomever you choose to be
with, my daughter, that you will stop this threat. After all, it has been
written; it is fate.”

The image continued to speak for several more minutes, but she found herself
zoning out. Really, what she had to say didn’t particularly concern her. After all,
she wasn’t the one phoning home. Besides, if there was anything that she did
need to know, Michael would fill her in later. Instead, the sixteen year old
was basking in the knowledge that she had been right all along. That would show
those Czechoslovakians! While she might be human, and while she might not be a
junior scientist like Liz or a computer expert like Alex, she was still pretty
damn smart, too.

Eventually, they made their way back outside to the two parked vehicles.
Splitting up, she took her clueless boyfriend and Isabel with her so that Max
and Liz could have some alone time together on the way back to town, and, as
she and the two aliens riding with her settled into her mom’s trusty if not
beat up sedan, Maria found herself grinning from ear to ear.

“I think I’m going to officially change my name. From now on, just call me
Maria Marple.”

Rolling his eyes, Michael complained, “that’s the most ridiculous name I’ve
ever heard of. And where did you get it from anyway?”

She shook her head in frustration. “What, don’t you not read like at all?” When
the alien in question just stared at her, she replied, “it’s from a famous
literally detective, Miss Marple. You know, Agatha Christie… None of this is
ringing a bell, is it?”

“Nope.”

“You’re hopeless. You’re practically illiterate!”

He tossed the tin book Tess had given them onto her lap. “Yeah, well, I’m not
from around here, remember? When you learn to read my book, I’ll consider
reading one of yours. Now, let’s get a move on. I’m hungry.”

Grumbling under her breath, the waitress started the car and began the trip
back to the Crashdown. Here, she had pretty much saved the day, the
Czechoslovakians, and maybe even the fate of the entire world, and, still, her
boyfriend refused to give her any credit. Female humans got absolutely no
respect!

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