#211 To Serve And Protect (1) – Quotes

Added by Lena

Isabel: There’s nothing on.
Max: We must have 50 channels.
Isabel: Crap. Crap.

Buddha: Excuse me. BUDDHA here. Yeah. When? Prepare the ship. Standby to beam us aboard.
Kyle: Master?
Buddha: Our enemies have arrived, Kyle. We must leave Earth and face the dark legion.
Kyle: No, no, no, no. I’m here for inner peace, not that science fiction crap.

Maria: How about a little talk, hmmm? Alright, in our house there are rules, and as strange, unimaginable, and bizarre as it may seem – we live our lives by these very simple rules.
Sean: Okay.
Maria: Rule one, toilet seat is left down. Rule two, underwear are not left on the floor, no. Rule three, milk is poured into a glass, not directly consumed by the carton. Rule four –
Sean: There a lot of these rules?
Maria: Don’t worry, I’ll write them down for you, assuming of course, that you can read.

Liz: I need help. I’m sick, Okay. I am an obsessed person.
Maria: Okay, is this a general freakout or should I be concerned?
Liz: No, I have Max on my brain 24 hours a day. Okay, I dream about him, I think about him, and now I’m saying his friggin’ name without even realizing it. What am I going to do?
Maria: You’re in love that’s all.
Liz: I know, but it’s not getting me anywhere.
Maria: Okay relax, relax, Liz. It’s not that bad. I promise.
Liz: Not that bad? Really? Why don’t you look at this?
(Liz pulls out two pictures of Max from her apron pockets.)
Liz: See! Obsession, obsession, obsession, obsession!
Maria: Okay, okay, you’re a Max-aholic. I’m here for you. What can I do?
Liz: Get me a life.